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| Messy table. Photo: Jason Rosenberg, flickr |
Hanna Raskin's first waitressing job was at a small Greek diner in Michigan. In the 15 years since, she's worked at a chop suey joint in Mississippi, an exclusive Arizonan country club, a vegetarian eatery and an Irish pub. She currently picks up odd shifts at a seafood eatery in the North Carolina mountains, where she cracks crab legs for helpless tourists. This is the tenth in a series of posts.
As a server, I should have boundless patience with my fellow overworked, undertipped brethren. But as anyone who's dined out with servers knows, food industry pros are often the harshest critics of front-of-the-house shenanigans.
Since servers know how restaurants work, they know exactly who to blame for the mishaps that spoil their eating-out experience. The French onion soup's taking too long? That's so not the fault of the server (many of whom would probably be thrilled to pack all three courses in to-go containers and send their table on its way). The halibut doesn't taste good? That's likely the reason the server skips the employee meal.
Diners should never discount their tips for things beyond the server's control: A corked bottle of wine, too long of a wait at the host stand and dirty bathrooms are comment card fodder, not tip-lowering offenses. But there are certain server behaviors for which I'll almost always knock down a gratuity a few percentage points.
I can't stand when servers leave finished plates on the table. I understand some restaurants coach their staffers not to clear until everyone is done eating, but any server who has time to refill water glasses has time to whisk away a few dishes. When a server has to move empty plates aside to make room for the dessert tray, that's evidence of negligence that would be punished in server court.
I'm wary about docking servers for perceived service flaws that really just reflect personality quirks, but a few idiosyncrasies fall well beyond the bounds of good service. I once had a server return to the table to tell me the kitchen had 86'd the pasta dish my husband had ordered. No problem, I said: He'll be back from the bathroom in a moment to make another selection. The server, who apparently couldn't wait, grabbed a menu and confronted my husband at the urinal. Any server who makes their customers that uncomfortable doesn't deserve 20 percent.
Finally, I'm tough on servers who refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes. Servers who say, "I'll be sure to tell my manager about that problem," or blame the poor busser when a service error is brought to their attention are good candidates for a lousy grat. Serving means always having to say you're sorry.
What's a surefire way for servers to earn less than 20 percent from you? Are there server behaviors for which you'll always deduct a percentage point or two?
| Bad hygiene. | |
|---|---|
| Ignorance of the menu. | |
| Rudeness. | |
| Slowness. | |
| Something else (tell us more in comments). |
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9-08-2009 @10:03AM caroline said... I think servers should always keep plates cleared and glasses full, as for the menu it really annoying when people ask the server their opinion about the food because they cant make a decision. So the server doesnt eat seafood, you do what do YOU want to eat.
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9-08-2009 @10:29AM gwyllionmoon said... I have read some very interesting comments on both sides of the topic and wanted to add my 20% worth as well! As a General Manager of an upscale casual restaurant who worked their way up from being a server, I can tell you that every single guest has a different opinion and preference for serving style. Some like to be quietly left alone during a meal, with very little conversation, and others prefer being treated as if the server was their maid or butler, with every aspect of the meal making them feel on top of the world. What most guests don't realize, is that the standard minimum wage in this country does not apply to service minimums. In most states, the base wage of a server can be up to $4 less than the standard minimum wage. The servers pay tax on every check and get taxed on the tip that is left as well. When you leave 20%, they are seeing 15% of it at best. So when you leave 10%, on a $25 check, after all is said and done, the server may not have even made national minimum wage.
It is always nice to go out to eat at a full service restaurant, but make it nice for everyone if you can, and if you can't, then pizza delivery is probably the better option.
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9-08-2009 @11:03AM Coffeecup said... To Chef D I'm shocked to find industry standard finds it acceptable to ask if the customer needs change. I find it way too presumptuous and crass to be calling out about money like that and no one would have any way of knowing this is acceptable except to read your post most likely. Perhaps someone needs to look at the bill and decide etc. but it feels cheap to me to have to answer the question when it is just as easy for the server to check the bill or use the phrase "Ill be back with your change". No matter if it is industry standard or not, it make many people uncomfortable so it is obviously NOT a good industry standard and I usually dine at the best places in NYC. When a server does that I often wonder if the management is aware that they are asking. I would have never occurred to me that this is encouraged!
To the author: Why should an unskilled laborer feel entitled to 20% for mediocre service when my daughter went through 9 mths of school to be a nurses assistant for the elderly and makes $10 an hr. They are servers for a reason whether or not they are brilliant artists, single parents, etc. they have to earn their living just like the rest of us. (by the way I worked for tips as a bartender for 15 yrs. at the nicest nightclubs all over the country I never once copped this attitude you speak) If 20% is "expected" then what would be the motivation to give good service? This makes no sense to be calling customers cheap when perhaps it was the server who was "cheap" with their service.
Also, you make no mention and I'm surprised no one else I've seen does, as to is the percentage of the total bill or the subtotal? Do people know that servers only expect it to be a percentage of the subtotal? You fail to mention that little known fact which can make a big difference in the way the tip is given or viewed. I find it easier to tip on the total a nice round 20%, I never leave less than $5 at a table for even the cheapest meal I am considerate of the work involved which I encourage others to do.
My BIGGEST pet peeve is when I am talking and the server cuts me off while I'm talking to someone to speak! If I'm there to visit my friends, I would not expect my friends to cut me off, and I certainly do not expect the person I'm paying to feel righteous in cutting me off if I am making a point or especially closing a sale!! Please if any one in the industry is reading this, understand how crucial this is. You are there to serve us, not the other way around. If I'm there for a meeting or my date and I are expressing our deepest feelings and desires we do NOT want a server with no respect for our conversation. It takes 1 second to say "excuse me" and 1 second for the other person to wrap up a sentence but a little respect goes a long way. I know from experience waiting tables that having a fewer tables I can engage with is more money in my pocket than a roomful of people feeling like I don't have time or patience for them.
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9-08-2009 @1:27PM twoshoes said... I REFUSE to pay a tip on the tax of the bill! When the bill is brought out I am teed off to leave my card for them to run. When the new bill comes out it is not broken down and people are tipping 15% to Uncle Sam also! Tax was never meant to be included in the 15%-servers do not work for Uncle Sam and did not do his job, they served the food, nothing else -I pay enough taxes that I'm steamed about and WILL NEVER tip a server on the taxed amount.
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9-09-2009 @10:38AM tina said... Clearing plates is a very iffy situation. For fine dining, yes you are supposed to wait for everyone to finish. Where I work, we are constantly hounded by management to pre-bus.
On behalf of the person who said they hate it when the table is partially served and some have to wait. The kitchen calls your name, you are pulling the food out of the window. Everything is up except the burger and the steak. It's not our fault the whole order isn't ready. What do you want us to do, put everything back in the window to sit and wait, or do you want us to serve the hot food that is ready? I can leave it up there to get cold, but then you'll bitch about that.
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9-10-2009 @5:57AM tina said... This is to April.
I like running my own food, but some restaurants insist that anyone and everyone run food. If someone different is running your food it's probably cause your server is running someone elses food. This method is to ensure that food gets delivered hot. Your server could be stuck at a table taking an order when your food comes up. When food is ready, whomever is not busy is supposed to pull it and run it. Where I work, if I am not there to pull my customer's food it is because I am either taking an order, in the middle of ringing an order, or doing the job of a hostess or busboy cause the restaurant doesn't want to pay a hostess or busboy minimum wage and makes the servers do those jobs at $2.13 an hour. Believe me, I don't want to have to do all those other jobs. I want to be there for my customers. I don't know about other restaurants, but at the one I work at, bad service should be blamed on management and the owner for putting too much work on the servers. I know there are bad servers...there are bad doctors, lawyers, cashiers, teachers. In every profession there are people who do not do their jobs properly. But for the ones that do TRY do do a good job and really care...it's just not fair.
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9-11-2009 @5:40PM Sarah said... Has to be hygiene. Nothing worse than BO, cigarette smoke or worse....the tipsy waiter. Had a very drunk waiter plop down next to me, put his hand on my thigh and lean in close. With my husband sitting next to me.
Ewwwwwww. That man's breath was eye watering. And this was at a very nice, well renowned restaurant!
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9-11-2009 @8:59PM byronvisiado09 said... here's an idea Hannah Raskin....get a new job. quit complaining. All of your posts make me want to be a D*ck to my "servers" and not leave a tip. I should go to your restaurant and do EVERYTHING that annoys you.
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9-17-2009 @6:54PM xxx said... I am tired of servers expecting people to pay their mortgage. Don't like it, get a new job.
FYI inflation affects food prices, which in turn affects the amount being tipped, so yes servers get tipped more every year, so please those complaining, please learn basic math...which is most likely why you are servers.
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9-21-2009 @10:20AM MAC said... Thank you, I thought I was the only one who was for the FLAT RATE tip. I have worked in restaurants for many years, both front and back, and for any server to think that they deserve more money just on the fact that the food they serve is more expensive is ABSURD! The server at a diner works just as hard as one at a five star.
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10-20-2009 @3:09PM squeakamp said... I have been a server for 9 years. When I go out my pet peeves are an empty glass and servers who spend too much time at the table.
1. If you dont have time to fill my drink ask one of your fellow servers to help you out. It's called teamwork.
2. I am not here to hang out with you. If i wanted to hang out with you I would go out to eat with you. i am here with my friends or family, a little chat is ok but dont overstay your welcome.
When I am working I hate people who treat me like I am stupid.
Dont ask for something 3 times before I leave the table, I obviously cant get you that refill or a basket of bread until I actually walk away from the table.
Dont get mad at me for the slowness of food or drink prep. I rank it in but I am not making it so I shouldnt be punished for it. Also, if you order a 'house' drink, dont expect it to be strong. A cheaper drink means less alcohol. And if you want a heavy pour ask for a double. Nothing is free.
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10-20-2009 @7:29PM Kay said... I know its hard to tell whether or not someone is done or not, so when i'm done, i stack everything up at the edge as a little "hey, pick these up". but my worst experience: our server took our order quite rudely and after that, we never got anything from her. it wasn't crowded so being busy was not an excuse. we waited too long for our food and it wasn't even her to serve us. it was a manager who did while she chatted with another server.
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10-20-2009 @11:30PM lauren said... I have people gripe at me for this all the time, ITS NOT THE SERVERS FAULT. Cooks are instructed to start a bill within 60 seconds of it hitting the kitchen and they start entrees 5-10 minutes after apps. If it takes you longer to eat your app than it does to cook your entree the only options we have are to bring you your food or let it get cold and gross in the kitchen and then have you demand that we remake it. That then screws us over because of course you aren't going to pay for two entrees when it was your fault that you spent 35 minutes eating a salad.
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10-21-2009 @10:51AM Cam said... I started working as a server in 2001 and the standard tip amount for proper service has been 20% since sometime before I started serving. I believe this is because servers' hourly wage is somewhere around $3 an hour (Here in Florida it's $3 and change per hour now but until fairly recently was $2.15 per hour).
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10-21-2009 @10:53AM Cam said... Thanks for pointing out that servers pay taxes on all their sales, even the tables that don't tip. It is assumed that a tip was given and taxes are deducted based on the amount of the sale. I think a lot of people who haven't worked in the industry are unaware of that.
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10-21-2009 @10:54AM Cam said... Gary: The point is not to try to convince you that you need to leave a bigger tip. You have every right to leave the tip that you see fit. However, a lot of people who have not worked in restaurants do not realize that most servers make $2 or $3 (depending on the state) per hour and that the computer system into which orders are placed automatically tells the payroll company to deduct taxes based on the server's sales. 20% has been the standard tip for good service since sometime before I started serving in 2001 and I've worked at restaurants that deduct taxes based on that presumed 20% tip even if the actual tip was less or none at all. (most restaurants that I personally worked at taxed on an assumption of a 15% or 18% gratuity but it varies from restaurant to restaurant and the government requires all servers be taxed on at LEAST a presumed 10% tip even if in reality no tip was given).
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10-21-2009 @5:39PM Lori said... As for your statement "Thus, if the food itself is horrid but the service was fine, I will tip less. You represent the restaurant as far as us customers are concerned." I can understand if the food does not come out to your liking, but I did not cook it and would happily exchange it for something else, which of course would take more time. I am guessing by your statement that this would also be held against me. While the server does represent the restaurant, we do NOT cook the food and should not be held responsible for it's taste or your dislike of it. It's guest like you that servers hate to see coming and would gladly forego the tip as to put up with your arrongancy.
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10-21-2009 @4:42PM cat said... I am stunned that so many people assume that someone only waits tables because they are dumb or aren't qualified for any other job! To the person who thinks that a server shouldn't get paid more than $10 an hour because that's what her daughter makes and her daughter "went to school": maybe your server deserves to make that amount or more as well. Maybe your server went to school for the same amount of time, or longer than your daughter, and just can't find anything else right now! Maybe your server actually makes a lot more than your daughter, with no schooling and working less hours!
To the person who thinks that servers need to learn basic math because that must be why they are servers: are you really saying that most servers are too stupid to be anything else? If so, then maybe you should realize that many servers right now are college educated, or paying their way through school, and they just can't find anything else in this economy! Maybe your server is smarter than you.
I also don't think it's right for people on here to be saying that the proper tip amount is 20%. The only place that is true is at restaurants that add gratuity and have set that amount. The proper way to tip is according to the service that is received. Sometimes you can do a great job and still get a mediocre or bad tip because that is just the way waiting tables works. If you don't like it, then yes, you need to try and find another job that pays a higher hourly rate and does not make you rely on tips.
I waited tables for 10 years before I finally used my schooling and got an office job. I loved waiting tables, but I could no longer afford to put my income level in the hands of the customers I waited on. Now I work a couple of shifts a week for enjoyment and some extra cash.
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