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| Messy table. Photo: Jason Rosenberg, flickr |
Hanna Raskin's first waitressing job was at a small Greek diner in Michigan. In the 15 years since, she's worked at a chop suey joint in Mississippi, an exclusive Arizonan country club, a vegetarian eatery and an Irish pub. She currently picks up odd shifts at a seafood eatery in the North Carolina mountains, where she cracks crab legs for helpless tourists. This is the tenth in a series of posts.
As a server, I should have boundless patience with my fellow overworked, undertipped brethren. But as anyone who's dined out with servers knows, food industry pros are often the harshest critics of front-of-the-house shenanigans.
Since servers know how restaurants work, they know exactly who to blame for the mishaps that spoil their eating-out experience. The French onion soup's taking too long? That's so not the fault of the server (many of whom would probably be thrilled to pack all three courses in to-go containers and send their table on its way). The halibut doesn't taste good? That's likely the reason the server skips the employee meal.
Diners should never discount their tips for things beyond the server's control: A corked bottle of wine, too long of a wait at the host stand and dirty bathrooms are comment card fodder, not tip-lowering offenses. But there are certain server behaviors for which I'll almost always knock down a gratuity a few percentage points.
I can't stand when servers leave finished plates on the table. I understand some restaurants coach their staffers not to clear until everyone is done eating, but any server who has time to refill water glasses has time to whisk away a few dishes. When a server has to move empty plates aside to make room for the dessert tray, that's evidence of negligence that would be punished in server court.
I'm wary about docking servers for perceived service flaws that really just reflect personality quirks, but a few idiosyncrasies fall well beyond the bounds of good service. I once had a server return to the table to tell me the kitchen had 86'd the pasta dish my husband had ordered. No problem, I said: He'll be back from the bathroom in a moment to make another selection. The server, who apparently couldn't wait, grabbed a menu and confronted my husband at the urinal. Any server who makes their customers that uncomfortable doesn't deserve 20 percent.
Finally, I'm tough on servers who refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes. Servers who say, "I'll be sure to tell my manager about that problem," or blame the poor busser when a service error is brought to their attention are good candidates for a lousy grat. Serving means always having to say you're sorry.
What's a surefire way for servers to earn less than 20 percent from you? Are there server behaviors for which you'll always deduct a percentage point or two?
| Bad hygiene. | |
|---|---|
| Ignorance of the menu. | |
| Rudeness. | |
| Slowness. | |
| Something else (tell us more in comments). |


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8-26-2009 @1:13PM Greg said... I have to disagree with your point about taking away plates. When servers take away plates before all the diners are finished eating, the people who have not yet finished their food inevitably feel rushed to finish, as if they are eating too slowly and holding everyone back from the next phase of dining.
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8-26-2009 @1:20PM Divine Bird Jenny said... I absolutely HATE it when a server can't tell me about the menu. You work there; even if you haven't had the dish, you should know SOMETHING about it! I also don't excuse slowness when I can see the server chatting with other servers, hanging around, etc.
We also dock points if we go thirsty. If my glass is empty, and has been sitting on the edge of my table for five full minutes, and the server has been walking around but never actually looks my way, we don't give 20%. If the conversation at the table grows into 'wish the server would come by to get me a refill' instead of pleasant chit-chat or whatever we're meeting to discuss, that's a bad sign. Even if he or she is busy, a quick nod or "I'll be back in just a moment" makes me feel like I haven't been forgotten.
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8-26-2009 @1:19PM ESC said... Being IGNORED.
My mother and I were at a restaurant once, one that I had been to several times and enjoyed. Our waiter didn't seem to think we deserved his prized attention - he fawned over the single diner behind us, constantly brushing past our table to make sure that man's water was filled, his requests for condiments obliged, every question answered. My mom and I would raise our hand, questioning face given, EYE CONTACT RECEIVED, and nothing - he'd walk right past us to another table. Honest to god, we just wanted to see the dessert menu. Our long empty glasses of ice tea and water just sat neglected. If we were a demanding pair, I'd have maybe understood, or if it had been super busy. But we weren't, and it wasn't.
He got no tip. I really should have called the management later, but I didn't. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my mom's visit and not let one bad experience ruin the trip!
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8-26-2009 @1:21PM Matt Mazz said... I can't stand it when servers can't tell you anything about the food beyond what's printed on the menu - how it tastes, where its from, etc. If that's all I can expect, seems to me the server could be replaced with a menu board and a counter.
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8-26-2009 @2:03PM Mark Shaw said... The big one for me is bringing the courses too fast. I avoid this by not ordering the salad until we're at least nearly done with the appetizer, and not ordering the entree until the salads come.
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8-26-2009 @2:11PM marie said... Well, one time, after waiting about 25 minutes for our order, we waved down the server, who then realized she hadn't put in our order yet!! We weren't impressed.
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8-26-2009 @2:40PM Dave said... Wait, when did 15% become 20%?
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8-26-2009 @2:56PM Gary said... I agree with Dave.. When did the customary 15% become 20%? Once again we are regaled with a blog posting that seems designed to do nothing other than make sure people live larger tips...
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8-26-2009 @2:58PM Laura said... Rudeness is the worst. It comes in all forms, from ignoring the table to making personal comments (I once had a waiter tell me he knew I was pregnant with a girl, because girls "steal your beauty." Har har-- big tip for him). But a more minor personal pet peeve goes like this:
Diner: "I'm torn between the lobster bisque and the seafood chowder, what's your opinion?"
Server: "I don't eat seafood, so I really can't say."
Um, ok. I've actually had this happen more than once!
I also disagree about the plate clearing. It's a hard call for a server. I had a job once where prompt clearing was the mandate, but then I was scolded severely by an older gentleman when I took his empty plate, because his wife was still eating. He called me rude, and, I think, docked my tip. So, there you go.
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8-26-2009 @4:07PM Linda said... Servers who simply disappear for extended periods of time are my pet peeve.
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8-26-2009 @3:46PM jessicamondres said... 15% became 20% because cost of inflation, cost ofliving. The minimum wage for servers hasn't been raised in years. It does not go up the way regular minimum wage does. Servers earn 2 dollars and change per hour in most restaurants.
20% for very good service has been the standard for at least several years. Also, an FYI, I am not a server.
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8-26-2009 @3:57PM NoBodeez Bidneez said... I'm a plate stacker. I make it terribly easy for the waitstaff you just pick up an organized, balanced set of dishes. But doggone, if that sucker is more than one course deep you better believe I'm deducting cash money.
Another tip killer? Ask the Waitress that continually served courses over the top of my newborn's head! She was in a carseat carrier which meant the Waitress could lean over her, right? Dropping a steak knife into the carrier off of a plate was the last straw. She's lucky I didn't bury that knife in her.
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8-26-2009 @4:09PM Tim said... Former server and restaurant owner alert!
A sure way to get a lower tip from me is when a server picks up my ready to pay bill and uses the phrase, "Do you need change?". That raises my hackles every time and I will take away a portion of my usually generous tip.
I understand that servers are sometimes very busy and they don't want to make a useless trip, but the proper wording is, "I'll be right back."
As for plate clearing, I consider it rude to clear plates when others are still eating. If you shouldn't do it in your home, it shouldn't be done in a restaurant.
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8-26-2009 @4:54PM Aaron Stevens said... 15% vs 20%???? People in Idaho (or my family at the very least) are still grumbling about this idea that they should be tipping 15% instead of 10%! A local I know (majoring in math no less) is under the impression that a tip should be a flat $2. HA! Can you imagine being a server at a 5 star restaurant and getting a $2 tip!
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8-26-2009 @5:23PM wilsman2 said... I have a problem when a the wait staff does not space the meal properly. Do not bring me the main course when I am still eating the salad. Another problem for me is when you bring one or more members of a group their meal and leave others sitting and waiting. That makes it incomfortable for everyone at the table. Bring all the meals at the same time.
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8-26-2009 @6:35PM localhawaiian said... I,too have been a server and in the restaurant business for 15+ years.
We want to get the same service that we give, that how we think about it.
When I am sat, I wait up to 5 minutes if there place is busy for a server to acknowledge us. That's 1 point on or off.
I know they are busy, but if you are to busy for me I am to busy to tip. Keep an eye on your table, when a customer needs to ask that is already a point off to many people.
But if you ask when they are 1/2 full then you will be the one doing the job you were hired for. If I wanted to serve myself I would stay home or go to burger king!
Next when they do come by they take our drinks, if they run off before I am done or just waiting to give them an appetizer order or ask if we even want one in the 2 seconds it takes to hear our drink order there goes another point on or off. A minute you give us makes the customer enjoy the place, not wished they had not come in at all. Patience is KEY!
You want us to be like that so give us the same, and don't hover if we need a minute to decide! You don't like to be pressured and neither do we!
Then we get everything and 5-10 minutes later the meal comes, that's another 1-2 points off. Timing is everything when it comes to food, explain if you need to, don't put an order in if you know it might come out fast! I don't mind waiting if it comes out to my liking!
Pre-busing is important, Don't hesitate to ask if you see no one is eating off of it! Communicate with your patrons! We don't bite!
I also hate being bugged so much when I am eating, if there was anything wrong with the food why would I be eating it? Common sense helps !
Plus, I am more then able to put my own food in the to go container, I don't know where your hands have been but I do know where mine have. Please give us the option to do it ourselves.
I have worked in fine dining to Denny's including the occasional dive. I pride myself on good service, it is an art as much as a job!
TO ALL CUSTOMERS- remember you are not the servers only table or customers. They have others thinking they are the most important at that time. Cut the server some slack at times, you might see it helps both of you! We hate that ALL THE TIME!!!
These tips have been learned in many a hard way, please use them. Not just customers need to think but servers need to use their heads more and make their customers happy. But their will always be the one that will NEVER be happy!!! Do your best anyway!
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8-26-2009 @6:41PM localhawaiian said... OH, almost forgot. We as servers pride ourselves on our memories. We remember the pain in the butt customers and the BAD/NO tippers from the moment YOU leave!
We pay taxes on the amount of your check, if you enjoyed yourself then tip. If you want to keep your money in your pocket, don't come back! I can't pay my bills if you stiff me cause your to cheap to thank me in that way!
If it is bad enough to not tip, then it is worth a chat with the manager!
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8-26-2009 @6:53PM Alison said... I hate when a server absolutely REEKS of cigarette smoke. It seriously makes me gag. That is a huge hygiene problem, and makes you wonder if they bothered to wash their hands after their nic-fit. Slip on a jacket or something when you go out for a smoke break, and leave the jacket in the back where the offending stench ought to be, and wash your dang hands!
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8-26-2009 @6:56PM localhawaiian said... You are right on that one. I smoke and use a jacket I also give it a few minutes before I go and then I wash my hands.
Some servers don't think it can be noticed on them. But it does!
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8-26-2009 @7:14PM Chef D said... I don't normal comment on stories but, being in the culinary business for 15 years, I felt compeled. I have worked the front, the back, managed and owned. Yes, I do have a tendancy to be more critical than those who are ignorant to the inner workings of a restaurant. Also more sympathetic knowing who is responsible for what. When I go into a restaurant I expect to tip the server 20-25 percent. That can go up or down depending on the service I get. I have tipped as much as 100+ percent and as little as less than 1 percent. If I have children at my table I will always leave more, whether my own or someone else's. If your food comes out too slow or too fast or the food isn't good, that's not the servers fault, it's the kitchen's. If your drink goes empty for more than a couple of minutes (my biggest pet peeve)or doesn't pre buss the table, or doesn't come back and check to see how everything is or if you need anything else, that is the server's fault. Some people you can never please, no matter how much you try. They should stay home or go to McDonalds, if you expect your food to come out in five minutes, again, go to McDonalds. The title is server, not slave, and many customers forget this. Rudeness is never acceptable, from servers or customers. Rude servers are diciplined or fired and rude customers are asked to leave. If you get good service and an enjoyable experiance and leave 15 percent or less, then take your cheap butt to the dollar menu, and by all means, never return to that restaurant again. Ever seen the movie "Waiting"? Don't mess with the people that handle your food. That might not be garlic salt on your steak if you do. I've never done it myself (and never will), but I have seen it. One more thing before i end this, if "Do you need change?" raises your hackles and lowers the tip you leave, then you need to double your employee's pay for putting up with you. While I agree that the correct wording would be "I'll be right back with your change" (This gives the customer a chance to say "I don't need any, the rest is yours" or nothing at all and wait for the server to return with their change.) "Do you need change?" is very much the norm and acceptable and not offensive. Your just a jackass and I seriously doubt that you really are a restaurant owner.
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