'What Would Brian Boitano Make?' Something Sassy, Apparently

by Michael Thomas Hastings, Posted Aug 24th 2009 @ 11:00AM

Brian Boitano at breakfast.
Photo: Food Network

So pop culture has come to this: A former figure skater perhaps best known for being a goofily ironic punchline to a "South Park" song has his own show -- and it's a cooking show. Die-hard foodies, take note: "What Would Brian Boitano Make?" is not for you.

This is not to say it operates at Sandra Lee levels of non-cooking: At no point does Brian (whom we interviewed) crack open a packet of supermarket taco seasoning for some zing or create a lush tablescape out of freshly raked autumn leaves. But it is, shall we say, a little on the frothy side for anyone wanting to learn the proper way to braise a quail. (Though the guy sure knows how to strain his juices for a mango-tini.)

No, this is one of those "lifestyle" shows the Food Network is so adept at churning out -- more tailored to the host's persona and his or her niche than anything else. And to judge by the first episode, Brian's self-professed niche would be San Franciscan guys who like to entertain their single girlfriends, prepare fussy little crudités and "ride bikes on rainbows!"

Brian is about as buttoned-down as a peacock in mating season. And as such, "WWBBM?" is loaded with more funny accents, cutesy asides and animated sequences than an episode of "Teletubbies." If we never have to witness a mock-horror movie of Brian being chased by a giant goat cheese monster again, it'll be too soon.

As for the food, it's the usual assortment of polenta squares, nut-covered goat cheese balls and fruity cocktails you spy on most lifestyle shows. Hell, the Food Network's own Ted Allen did a more creative job of setting the table when he was on "Queer Eye", which, with its combination of tips and sass, was this show's most obvious antecedent.

But given some time -- and a little less overzealous spunkiness -- who knows? Maybe Brian will surprise us.

Filed Under: Television/Film, Trends
Tags: brian boitano, BrianBoitano, food network, FoodNetwork, recap, television, what would brian boitano make, WhatWouldBrianBoitanoMake

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Reader comments (Page 1 of 1)

8-24-2009 @12:20PM StyckyWycket said... Ouch. Way harsh, Tai.

I thought it was fun and cute - but then again, I'm more of an armchair chef than a practicing one.
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8-25-2009 @4:48AM Cali said... I thought the show was great! I'm not a good cook, but I could certainly make some of the hors' devours that Brian did. Best of all it was entertaining!
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8-25-2009 @4:02PM andy said... Great Show! I love cooking, and making Hot hors' devours that Brian did went down a treat, i've even dedicated a mobile site that i can use while away from home to catch up on my recipes, hopefully if i get time i will add this one to it on the site: MYDISH http://mydish.mobi

Thanks for the recipes
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8-30-2009 @10:46PM Al said... Great show! Love the energy and the recipes. Gives us something different to look forward to on the Food Network.
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9-14-2009 @4:03AM Melissa said... FUN SHOW! The food is creative and fairly EASY which is great. He is A RIOT and the show is alotta fun to watch. TWO THUMBS UP!
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