A Ride in the Burgermobile of Kansas City

The Westport Flea Market's Burgermobile. Photo: Emily Farris

"Hey, that's a nice truck!" a young boy yelled at Joe Zwillenberg as he tried to park his Burgermobile at a dog show last weekend. "Where'd you get it?"

Zwillenberg didn't hear the boy. He was too busy concentrating on parking the thing. "I gotta be careful," he said. "I don't wanna scrape the bun."

Well, kid, if you're reading this, the Burgermobile is from New York City. When visiting the Big Apple in April, Zwillenberg -- the owner of Kansas City, Mo.'s Westport Flea Market Bar and Grill -- met artist Matt Targon, who specializes in promotional vehicles. While discussing Zwillenberg's business, Targon declared he'd always wanted to make a burger car. After a little negotiating, Targon told Zwillenberg, "I'm going to make you the best hamburger vehicle ever."

As far as K.C. residents are concerned, mission accomplished. Since arriving in the city's Westport neighborhood earlier this month, the Burgermobile has captured the attention of nearly every passerby, as well as their cameras. It's exactly what Zwillenberg had in mind.

The Burgermobile requires a larger parking spot than most vehicles. Photo: Emily Farris

In a cruel twist of fate, though, the Burgermobile -- which conceals in its bun a 1987 Chevy S10 pickup -- is not for those who have indulged in too many burgers. The roundness of the bun and patty (constructed of a polyurethane foam with a hard urethane coating) make it impossible for the truck's doors to open all the way, forcing driver and passenger alike to suck in their bellies and squirm inside. (One should always duck while entering, too, for fear of taking a lettuce leaf to the head, as this reporter did.)

The standard reaction to a Burgermobile sighting. Photo: Emily Farris

As the Burgermobile wound its way through Kansas City on Saturday afternoon, those on the street who didn't drop their jaws whipped out their camera phones. And as soon as Zwillenberg pulled up to a stoplight, an overgrown frat boy veered off the crosswalk and hopped between the cheese on the car's hood and the overhanging tomato slice while his friends snapped a picture. "Hey, get outta there!" yelled Zwillenberg while furiously honking the Burger's (unfortunately high-pitched) horn.

Zwillenberg tries to keep the Burgermobile safe. Photo: Emily Farris

"I'm really the only one who can drive this thing," he said, once he got the Burgermobile back up to about 35 miles an hour.

When asked how he sees beyond the overhanging top bun and lettuce, Zwillenberg admitted, "Not very well. Usually people just stay away from me because they see what I am driving. Basically I just drive the speed limit and use my mirrors."

The view from inside the cab of the Burgermobile

While the Burgermobile hasn't caused any accidents per se, earlier in the week a father and son were out for a bike ride and as Zwillenberg passed, the father stopped dead in his tracks. Unfortunately, he didn't warn his son, who crashed right into dad. "The kid had a bloody nose; I felt terrible."

Other than that, Zwillenberg said, the usual reactions are along the lines of comments like "hold the mayo!" He fiddled with the knobs on the dashboard while admitting that one woman yelled "here's my meat!" as she lifted her shirt to flash him.

He seems relatively nonchalant about the fandom. "I'd really like to get some kind of fan in here," he muttered. "The air conditioner doesn't work, but I'd have to take the cheese off to repair it -- and I'd hate to do that."

Insert your own joke about cheese, burgers and grills right about here.

The cheese covers the Burgermobile's hood