Fast Food Reviews

Dunkin' Donuts Wake Up Wrap
Grade: B
Quesadilla, meet your breakfast competition. This 5-inch tortilla filled with American cheese and your standard fast-food circle of scrambled egg solid is a decent on-the-go snack, and you can't beat the price: 99 cents. The wrap shown at left includes cherrywood-smoked bacon (30 cents extra). The Wake Up Wraps are available through mid-July 2009.

Sara Bonisteel

KFC Grilled Chicken
Grade: B
Pardon us, but where did these chicken snobs come from all of a sudden? Folks all over the country were a-cluck over Oprah's free grilled chicken coupon giveaway, wondering how dare she throw her considerable influence behind something so declasse and unhealthy. Were they planning on going home and slow-poaching some tilapia with a pilaf of quinoa and an acai infusion? Because really, this stuff (the portion on the left) is pretty tasty. It's smartly seasoned, nicely juicy, properly cooked and yes, while it might be a wee bit greasy, a paper towel quickly blots off the excess. We're crying fowl on the naysayers.

Rachel Been

Domino's Mac and Cheese Bread Bowl
Grade: C-
This turbo-carbed heart stopper, bubbling over with cheese and penne pasta, was everything we expected it to be. We commenced chowing our way through the center, which was stuffed with a satisfying, if not especially adventurous take on mac 'n cheese and eventually tore apart the puffy crust. No kid in the world could pass this up. Our recommendation -- cut the pie into four pieces and enjoy a small portion. Sure, you could skip the extra starches altogether and order it without the bread bowl, but where's the fun in that?

Rachel Been

Domino's Chicken Alfredo Bowl
Grade: D-
We are grateful in a way that we ordered this bowl, as it led to a period of unexpected introspection. Where in our lives, we asked ourselves, or perhaps in some past life, did we commit offenses against humanity so grave that we were now being made to consume this? We'll give the consistency of the central, gummed-together pasta glob the benefit of the doubt as it may have suffered during transit, but did the journey also cause an entire shaker of garlic powder to upend over the sauce? It sure tasted that way even after the tenth time we brushed our teeth later that afternoon. There's a small mercy found in the outer ring of pleasantly puffy crust, but it just gets more wicked the further in you dare to tread.

Rachel Been

White Castle Pulled Pork Slyders
Grade: C-
Seriously -- tell us what we did wrong and we'll find a way to repent. This sweet, tangy and saucy mess locked our jaws scrunched our faces. While White Castle lovers may rejoice in another slyder option, BBQ fans will find the sauce sweet, soggy and overbearing and the lack of pork will leave their cravings unsated. Stick to what you know, White Castle and don't taunt us like that.

Keith Morrison

McCafe Iced Mocha and Latte
Grade: A
One sip and we were hooked. A nonfat iced mocha loaded up with whipped cream was quite potent, with a strong aroma of Arabica coffee beans. To be honest, if we had been blindfolded, we wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between a Starbucks chiller and these eye-openers. They don't escape without some criticism; decaf is not currently an option. Lattes are, however, available with a shot of vanilla, caramel, hazelnut or sugar-free vanilla.

Wendy's Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty
Grade: A+
The Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty is perfection, and here's why: Most candied shakes only blend in one or two teaspoons of toppings (see: McFlurry). The Twisted Frosty, however, does not scrimp. They swirl in obscene amounts of toppings - nearly a 50-50 ratio of ice cream and candy, and the resulting maelstrom of flavor is all we've ever wanted from a candied shake. It's like drinking liquid Oreo! (Also available in equally delicious M&M and Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough.)

Rachel Been, AOL

Wendy's Hand-Spun Frosty Shakes
Grade: D
Wendy's, purveyor of the illustrious Frosty, has recently introduced two new varieties of their famous milkshake: The Hand-Spun Frosty Shake and the Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty.

Now, we love Frosty original. Its unparalleled vanilla-chocolatey thickness is the yardstick by which we measure all other fast food milkshakes. That said, these Hand-Spun Frostys are a downgrade. They start with a teeth-itchingly sweet vanilla Frosty base, then swirl in strawberry syrup (which tastes like Robitussin) or chocolate syrup (which tastes decidedly inferior to Frosty classic).

Next: Wendy's Hand-Spun Twisted Frosty

Rachel Been, AOL

McDonald's Filet-O-Fish
Grade: B
Remember the last time you ordered one of these? Neither could McD's, so they've whipped up a whole new wave of ads for their classic fishwich -- which so far as we could tell hasn't changed a bit in the decade or two since we'd downed one. The fried fish block melds softly into the featureless cheese slice, generous blob of tartar sauce and mushy bun with little to no variance in flavor or texture. Weirdly enough, this isn't a bad thing, but rather somehow comforting -- as if time had stood still. Now where's a McDLT when you need one?


Rachel Been

Wendy's Premium Fish Fillet Sandwich
Grade: B-
"Oh, it's made with real fish, right?" parroted just about everyone we polled. The ad campaign sure is working, but upon first bite our question is -- why make a big splash about real fish if it's not really good fish? The fillet we sampled was decently seasoned, but rather toughly breaded, stringy and swiped with a stingy bit of overly astringent tartar sauce. We applaud the effort, but this sandwich is gonna need some more schooling if it wants to swim with the big guys.


Rachel Been