The life of a golden beet isn't really a very glamorous one. We don't get out very much, we tend to be a bit grubby and we've got this embarrassing dry skin problem.

So imagine how surprised I was to find out that I've somehow become a symbol of everything that's wrong with food these days; according to this funny lady Carla Spartos, I'm nothing less than a nightstick in the hands of the food police, the so-called "Gourmonsters" who are trying to bully us all into eating our vegetables and threatening to steal our Ho Hos.

While I appreciate the shout-out -- it's nice to know that Alice Waters wants to dress me up in a fancy vinaigrette -- I've got to say that all of the attention seems a little misplaced.

Read why after the jump.

I mean, I'm just a homely root vegetable loathed by children (and certain presidents) and beloved by cost-conscious cooks who prize me for my versatility and affordability. There doesn't seem to be anything particularly elitist about that.

If you ask me, what's really elitist are the policies that make regular, nutritious food like me so inaccessible to most people -- especially poor people who live in underserved areas -- and processed food so readily available.

Sure, I know that no one wants to be judged for what's in her grocery cart, and most of you don't want a bunch of people from California telling you what to eat, but hey, I'm a beet, not a grenade. And I'm also not the issue here.

But maybe if Ms. Spartos would just eat me, she'd be able to focus on what the issues really are -- after all, I've got a ton of vitamins and minerals that may not be sexy or controversial, but they sure are good for sustaining the lives of the regular people Ms. Spartos seems to care so much about.

[Via New York Post, New York Times]