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We can't swear to it, but we suspect that this Momofuku Milk Bar Volcano was sent here from Planet Chang either to teach us or to enslave us. We can't be certain of its purpose, but what we do know is that all the breakfast food bravado we've flaunted up to this point -- Brooklyn deli egg and cheese bombs, full-on Irish black and white pudding spreads, Meatnormous® BK sammies and half-sow Bellagio Buffet crepes laid waste to in short order -- meant diddly squat as we stood at the Volcano's lip and by God, were afraid.
Chef David Chang's co-conspiritor Christina Tosi works the sweet end of the Momofuku Ssam Bar's East Village space at Milk Bar, turning out scrumdiddilyumtious sun-dense cornflake-chocolate chip cookies, dentist-scoffing Crack Pie and soft-serve cereal milk ice creams by the bucketload. We thought we had her all figured out, and there she had to go tossing out double-dog-dare words like "savory" and "volcano." Dang.
Turns out the steaming, softball-sized item is essentially a knish stuffed to rumbling with potato gratin, Gruyere, Benton's bacon, caramelized onions and a good 20 or so minutes off the average human's lifespan. No worries -- contrary to today's New York Times' $25 and Under assessment, we found its hefty, tangy slather of Mornay sauce to be more than adequate compensation for the latter.
We're not ashamed to admit that we were bested and could not conquer the Volcano in one sitting, or even without assistance from concerned colleagues, but we learned and we grew as people (or perhaps that last part was just our thighs.)
No matter. What we'd like to know is this -- how much can you manage to chow down in the morning? Are you after daybreak fare that sticks to your ribs or does coffee alone keep you fueled until lunchtime? Take the poll, and as always, comment away.
| Like a lumberjack | |
|---|---|
| Couple of eggs or cereal, maybe | |
| Toast or a bar | |
| Just coffee or juice, thanks | |
| Nothing at all until lunch |
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4-08-2009 @10:49AM Bruce Watson said... Man! Would it have killed you to invite a brother along?
Reply
4-08-2009 @11:09AM D said... Personally, I think I could tackle it. My stomach is a bottomless pit. I've been known to conquer all sorts of "eat this and your meal is free" challenges despite my petite stature. I think my body stores those calories away for later consumption however because it's just as likely that I'll eat an entire pig for breakfast as go two days consuming nothing but water or juice.
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4-08-2009 @2:49PM Gobo said... I'll take a slice of the Crack Pie and some of their blueberry cookies, thanks.
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4-08-2009 @5:53PM Kat Kinsman said... D - I don't know you, but if I can film you doing this and post it on Slashfood, I will buy you a Volcano and the cookie of your choice.
Reply
4-08-2009 @6:43PM Ansley said... I am personally a slave to the doughnut flavored soft serve.
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