Do "modern brides" register for fine china?
Ever since I got engaged, I've said I wouldn't register for fine china. When I entertain, I serve food on plates that match the mood of the cuisine and my personality (and so I already have a closet full of mismatched plates). And tales from my mother and other family members about how they never use their fine china left me thinking it would be useless to get my own.
Instead, I'd rather register for more "everyday" plates that I know will get more use rather than something gathering dust in boxes or placed in a china cabinet I don't yet own.
Yet, as my registering days slowly come to a close, I'm starting to think maybe I've made a mistake. I may not have use for the plates right now, but will I in the future? Is that what fine dinnerware is really for -- the future dinners you'll be holding in your home?
Since I entertain a decent amount now, will it only increase as I start a family and the center of entertaining becomes big Thanksgiving dinners in my home?
I would love to hear the advice of past, present and future brides about their dinnerware. What do you think I should do?
| Yes | |
|---|---|
| No | |
| Not sure yet (please tell me why in the comment section) |

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4-03-2009 @1:41PM ESC said... I registered for and received plates. It's been two and a half years, and of course, no use for them yet. But one day my husband and I will live in a house where I have room to keep them relatively handy, and like my mother did and still does, any special occasion, from bithday to thanksgiving, will be celebrated with a dinner served on the "nice" plates.
My rule of thumb was to chose a design that was not overly fancy or ornate, was available at most larger dept stores, and that both I and my husband liked. We chose the "platinum crown" pattern from Mikasa. It's not artsy or avante garde, it won't ever be a collection item, but it's popular enough so that it should be around for a while (replacement pieces therefore easy to find), and simple enough so that it won't look outdated in 10 years.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having nice plates, especially if your family gatherings, like mine, centered around food. One day my mother will "pass the torch" on to me, and I'll be ready :)
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5-25-2011 @2:41PM Rachel DuBosque said... Hello -
Your quote was so inspiring we would like to use it in a national retailer's bridal book relating to nice dinnerware. If you are interested please respond and I can email you the details.
thanks!
4-03-2009 @1:52PM kindli said... We registered for stoneware that was nicer than our everyday stuff but not SO nice that we'd never use it. We use it a few times a month, when we have guests over, to celebrate things, when our everyday plates are all in the dishwasher, and sometimes "just because." It was also nice to get a set of 8 dishes that all matched, our every day stuff is an eclectic mix from pre-marriage days.
I agree w/ESC about choosing a simple design that's widely available, our plates are cream colored so we just change out the table cloth/place mats/napkins and get a whole new look. They're very versatile.
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4-03-2009 @2:03PM Kren said... I registered for stoneware more than 30 years ago; a simple elegant pattern that served me well in formal and informal settings. My mother had given me a 16 place setting collection of Havilland Limoges fine china, which I sold after 27 years of non-use. If you like mixing and matching fine china, you can buy it for a song on ebay, or replacements.com, or in antique stores. Don't waste your money (or your wedding guests money) on fine china.
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4-03-2009 @2:15PM Michele said... At my mother's insistence, I registered for a very nice, mid-range Lenox china pattern and got 12 place settings, then rounded it out on ebay and with gift cards to 16 place settings and the serving pieces. I have been married almost nine years and use it about 10 times a year. I will use it even more once my extended family has less toddlers (including my own two). Frankly I would have used it more but because we moved several times it wasnt always handy. I love it. It definitely ups the ante on the "specialness" of the occasion when we entertain. The key is to not be afraid of it. Mine goes in the dishwasher, and has held everything from fine French food to pizza - its more the occasion than the cusisine which drives its appearance. No regrets.
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4-03-2009 @2:37PM MAY said... Personally, i think getting it handed down to you at the appropriate time is best. Gramma handed down her china to my mom once she knew the gatherings would be at my moms. It's wonderful when she pulls out the china cuz it's not just nice dinnerware but it's fine family china! i wont be asking for fine china for my registry but maybe nice dinnerware. I'll gladly wait for my mom to hand me Gramma's fine china! then i'll do the same for my daughter. Think it'll have more meaning that way. Besides now that Gramma has passed the china seems to be priceless to all of us =)along with all the memories
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4-03-2009 @2:33PM Karen said... I think it just depends on your lifestyle.
Even when I do fancy, (usually Christmas) I use the fancy Christmas china. But we end up using the Christmas Sweet Shoppe that added to my regular plates most of the years.
To me china is formal - not special occasion and I rarely do formal at home. Even after 14 years of marriage and lots of parties. Also -- you aren't going to mix your corningwear serving pieces with china. You need to drag out the crystal and/or more formal pieces, and I just found I wasn't willing to do that.
I do however have several different sets of nice stonewear and tend to choose from those depending on the occasion.
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4-03-2009 @3:27PM Teresa said... We don't have the space for it, it's seems like an environmental waste to lug around and keep things in storage, and yet it also seems like a good idea for the reasons you mentioned. Right now we're leaning towards not registering for them, but I don't know.
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4-03-2009 @3:44PM Mindee said... I registered for both china and stoneware 18 years ago. I only use the china a few times a year but I love it. Whenever we pull it out it signifies "special occasion" and the kids (and husband) suddenly become calmer and have better manners. :)Would do it all again but suggest a simple, classic pattern that you won't tire of and can accessorize easily with linens/centerpieces.
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4-04-2009 @8:28AM Gillian said... I registered for 12 settings of fabulous Waterford, and I use them all of the time. Whenever we have company. They are super fancy, but so what? I love the feeling of an event at my house, and nothing says event like fine china and some candles. I kept them shut up tight for about a year waiting for "fancy" time, and then smacked my forehead and decided that plates were made for eating off of! We also registered for everdayware from Williams Sonoma, which we got and use every day. I'm glad we have it, both for now and for big dinners later.
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4-03-2009 @4:35PM Stephanie said... I received 12 place setting of china from my husbands great-aunt, and then got serving peices from others. Although we only use it 2-3 times per year, I would not want to do without it. I will second the opinion that it makes everyone behave better, especially my 4 and 6 year old, since we made such a big deal about them being now old and well behaved enought to use it.
I also agree with the advice of a fairly simple pattern that you will be more willing to use, and will be easier to replace, should the need arise. Also, those 'classic' patterns are more likely to keep being in production for a long time.
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4-03-2009 @4:50PM stickygooeycreamychewy said... Go for it! It's a splurge you will probably never make yourself. I don't use mine as often as I could, but I love having it, especially for holidays and special occasions.
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4-03-2009 @5:08PM Dawn said... We registered for some elegant everyday dishes, and later received hand me down china which is wonderful since it has our stories and the stories of my great aunt in it.Our crystal on the other hand, that is new to us and I love it and wish I had registered for stemware when were did get married instead of hosting a holiday dinner using pint glasses for wine.
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4-03-2009 @5:46PM Divine Bird Jenny said... I didn't register for fine china; instead, we chose two colors of Fiestaware and requested 4 sets of each. We use them daily but they look wonderful for the kind of entertaining we do--which is informal at best. We have a small apartment and extremely limited storage, and since we weren't planning to move into a house anytime soon, we knew we didn't want to have to store or move extremely breakable (and often irreplaceable) china.
It's worked out beautifully for us. And honestly, my tastes have changed a lot since getting married. I look at the one fine set I considered and realize it totally doesn't work for me anymore. If we ever do invest in a set, it'll be in the future, when we've got permanent roots.
Register for the things you know you'll use and love. It's actually a pet peeve of mine when I see friends registering for things they never use. I know one couple who got absolutely gorgeous china for their wedding, but I have never, ever been invited to use it. They probably have used it themselves but once--in almost ten years! It's not that they don't love it, it's that they think of the hassle of getting it down, washing it, using it, and washing it again. Why give yourself a burden?
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4-03-2009 @5:56PM savourfare said... I registered for open stock mix and match dinnerware from Spode, and I absolutely love it. It only comes out for special occasions, but lots of things can be deemed special occasions, and it always makes me smile.
You can see it here:
http://savour-fare.com/2009/03/30/fried-zucchini-blossoms/
And here:
http://savour-fare.com/2009/03/24/trufflecookies/
Of course, it helps that my fine china isn't so expensive that I'm afraid to use it, and it goes in the dishwasher.
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4-03-2009 @11:46PM Marianne said... I have my parent's fine china that they received for their wedding in 1973. I use it everyday because it makes me happy. It has to be hand-washed but it's well worth it!
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4-05-2009 @7:56PM momofthree said... I have been married almost 20 years and I use my china on special occasions, but honestly not enough for what I have tied up in it. What I wish is that someone had told me all those years ago, to register for a nice everyday china. I finally decided that was what I wanted and I invested in some Mikasa everyday china for my Christmas present to myself. It is simple, elegant and can work with different colored serving bowls for everday, or with all the matching pieces for a celebration. We eat off of these plates everyday and they look great. They are dishwasher and and microwave safe and hold up really well. I wish I had these dishes from the beginning instead of using everday stoneware and and then my china for special occasions. Also, another suggestion is that you register for Christmas china. I think I would have used that a lot during the holidays, especially as the children have gotten older.
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4-04-2009 @11:13AM Col said... We registered for (pretty nice looking) everyday china (Bernardaud's "Louvre" pattern, which is all white) and then we did register for fancy china at the recommendation of our moms, at Tiffany's, (the charming Audubon pattern, which, unfortunately, they are discontinuing). We had our first married Thanksgiving this past November and had about 10 people over, and it made it so much more special to have the fancy china out. People feel fancy when you use the fancy china. It's festive.
If you find a pattern you really love it will absolutely be worth it, especially if you love to entertain. We set out fancy china even if there are only 2 people coming over for dinner. Sometimes we use it just ourselves if we want to have a fancy dinner date at home.
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4-04-2009 @12:05PM thefishie said... We registered for everyday and fine china. I got more of my china because it could be bought through a catalog a lot cheaper than my everyday stuff! The china pattern is a simple Lenox pattern and it comes in handy for the holidays when we have family that wants to get us a gift but doesn't know what to buy. Extra serving pieces of my china / flatware makes a great gift. And it's easy for my mom to pass along that message to those relatives I can't convince not to buy me anything. Otherwise we get things I would never, ever buy or use.
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4-04-2009 @4:13PM Sally said... I was married 33 years ago and didn't register for fine china -- or glassware or silver. I've never had reason to use it. I bought good stoneware and used it for years. Over the course of the years I think maybe 2 or 3 pieces got broken. I never used anything "less destructible" for the children. I eventually bought a different pattern just because I was tired of the first pattern.
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