Late Thursday night, a security guard at Bally's Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey noticed an unknown man emerging from a restricted kitchen area. The man wasn't a hotel employee, and there was something strange about his appearance, so the guard decided to investigate. As he got closer, he realized that the man had stuffed his clothes with what later turned out to be 91 frozen lobsters. The perpetrator, 38-year-old Anthony Jones was subsequently arrested.When I first read this story, I imagined that it had to be something of a fluke. First off, there was the impressive number of lobsters; how does one hide 91 spiny crustaceans in one's clothes? Second, there was the simple improbability of the crime. It's hard to imagine that a lot of criminals have attempted to steal lobsters through concealment in clothing.
When one googles "stealing lobster," the vast majority of hits focus on lobster poaching. Even a brief perusal will convince one that this crime is very serious, at least for the denizens of Maine, and the punishment is pretty severe. If the police catch you, you're looking at serious jail time. If fishermen catch you...well, let's just say that you'd probably prefer that the police catch you.
However, in addition to the impressive lobster poaching element out there, there is also a sizeable contingent of lobster swipers. Of course, the vast majority are relatively normal criminals, like Brian Rubenstein of Racine, Wisconsin, who recently tried to make off with over $600 in groceries, including a few hundred dollars worth of lobster, a couple of hundred in beef, several smoked hams, and a fruit platter. Similarly, Johnny Borrell, frontman for Razorlight, recently admitted to swiping lobsters from the backstage area at a Rolling Stones concert.
Even so, there's nothing like a good, old-fashioned pants-based lobster poaching, and I was relieved to know that Anthony Jones was neither the first, nor even the most impressive, perpetrator of this fiendish act. While Raymundo Flores of Brooklyn, New York also stuffed frozen lobsters down his pants, San Diego's Binh Quang Chau took this trick to the next level. As he was wandering around the La Jolla State Marine Conservation area, Chau caught the attention of a Fish and Game warden, who noticed that the 33-year-old man's pants contained "odd bulges." Upon closer inspection, the warden realized that Chau had concealed six live lobsters in his trousers.
I think I've heard it all; it's time for me to move on to something new. Next stop: deer poaching!
