As a Virginian, born and raised, I am a definite ham guy. This isn't to say that I eat it at every meal, or that I consume it indiscriminately; in fact, I limit my consumption of the beloved pork to the occasional Smithfield ham, slice of prosciutto, or other dry-cured wonder. Still, while I eat it rarely, I do so with absolute love and an almost religious devotion.

These days, the ultimate trophy ham is the famed Jamón Iberíco. It is made from a Spanish Black Iberian Pig that has been allowed to graze on acorns. Because of breeding and diet, the hams are noted for their unique flavor and supposedly healthy fat.

While delicious and healthy, the hams are also exceedingly expensive, retailing for about $1400 apiece. As with almost any luxury item, the incredible price tends to attract ham counterfeiters. Luckily, however, there is a definitive method for determining if one is, indeed, eating an honest-to-goodness Jamón Iberíco: unlike other breeds, Black Iberian Pigs have black trotters. Of course, clever imitators have tried to undermine this method by painting trotters with black paint, but wise connoisseurs are careful to rub the feet to ensure that the black stays on.



Until last year, it was illegal to import Jamón Iberíco into the United States. While ostensibly due to the risk of swine fever, some have argued that America's ban on the iconic pork product was actually part of a strategy to protect the US's domestic pork industry. This actually makes a lot of sense, particularly in light of the USDA's recent rule change regarding the famed ham. In a brutal double whammy, the organization determined that the hams must have their trotters removed and have to pay a 100% import duty. In other words, the ham, which is vulnerable to counterfeiting and is incredibly expensive, must have its sole anti-counterfeiting measure removed and will be effectively doubled in price.

It's not easy to fight this kind of pork barrel politics.* To be honest, anyone who can afford to pay $50 for a quarter pound of ham can probably afford to pay $100 for a quarter pound of ham. Still, it's a little sad, particularly for those of us who measure our wealth not by money, but by the number and variety of pork products that we have consumed. Given my need for porcine culinary experimentation, I will, of course, need to find a substitute. In other words, with Jamón Iberíco off the list for now, I find myself drawing nearer and nearer to Hormel's canned pork brains with milk gravy. USDA, in the name of all that's holy, drop the tariff and let the little piggies keep their feet!


*I had to slip this pun in here. Really, can you blame me?