But it's just a humble cheeseball, you say, why call it "the ball of shame?" Well, because shame is what you feel when, in mid-manufacture, you say you'll just take one swipe with a cracker to see how it tastes and wind up scarfing down a half-dozen. Shame is what you feel when you find yourself standing in front of the refrigerator at night, licking off the Saran wrap. However, pride is what you'll feel when you bring it to a party and watch people fall on it like starved hyenas.
1 cup golden raisins
1. cup currants or dried cranberries
1 8 oz. package cream cheese
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese
2 tbsp. brown mustard
2 tbsp. choppeed fresh chives
1 small clove of garlic, minced
black pepper and/or paprika to taste
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
- Let all cheeses come to room temperature.
- While waiting for them to achieve softened perfection, soak the rasins and currants in warm water. Let sit for about 30 minutes, then drain and chop (the sharper the knife, the easier this will be).
- In mixing bowl, combine cheeses, mustard, chives, garlic and spices and mix well (with a hand mixer, not a spoon).
- Stir in chopped raisins/currants (with a spoon, not a hand mixer).
- Serve in a bowl (a different bowl--you'll want to lick the first bowl) as a spread or refrigerate for at least an hour, then shape into roundish form and roll in chopped nuts.
- Eat on crackers, be unable to stop eating on crackers, continue eating when you have run out of crackers and accept your enslavement to the ball of shame.