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It's the Great Pumpkin (Ale) Charlie Brown!




Pumpkin ale is big this time of year. A good friend of mine, Bill Owens is credited with re-creating it in 1985/6, after 200 years of neglect, with his Buffalo Bill's Pumpkin Ale. Now you see pumpkin ale all over, whether it is Buffalo Bill's, or the dozens of copy cat brews. Here's a great round-up of pumpkin ale by the folks at BeerAdvocate.com.

I was thinking a bit on pumpkin ale and my mind started to wander . (It usually does, sometimes for the good and sometimes not.) I started to think of a cool re-make of the classic Charlie Brown. "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!" Here are some quotes from the new classic Charlie Brown Halloween animated movie, "It's the Great Pumpkin Ale Charlie Brown!"

Lucy Van Pelt: Bleach! My lips touched dog lips! Bleagh! Poison lips! Bleagh! Pass me a pumpkin ale, quick!

[Lucy scoops out the innards of the pumpkin Linus brought to make ale from]
Linus: [groans] You didn't tell me you were gonna kill it!

Sally Brown: Is Linus going to tricks-or-treats?
Lucy Van Pelt: That blockhead of a brother of mine is over at the pumpkin ale patch making his yearly fool of himself. He sits there all night scarfin' down last years pumpkin ale, and talking to himself, asking "Where's this years Great Pumpkin Ale?"

Linus: On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin Ale rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air to deliver toys to all the children, and pumpkin ale to all their parents. They really need it after herding those rambunctious kids all over town.

Linus: [to Sally as she walks away with everyone else] Hey, aren't you going to stay to greet the Great Pumpkin Ale? Huh? It won't be long now. If the Great Pumpkin Ale comes, I'll still put in a good word for you!
[realizes what he just said]
Linus: Good grief! I said "if"! I meant, "when" it comes!
[calmly]
Linus: I'm doomed. One little slip like that could cause the Great Pumpkin Ale to pass you by. Oh, Great Pumpkin Ale, where are you?

Sally Brown: Can I go to trick-or-treats with you, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Sure, Sally.
Sally Brown: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! How do you do it?
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, knock on the door and yell "Tricks or Treats and Pumpkin Ale!"
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble. I just want a pumpkin ale.

Sally Brown: If you try to steal my pumpkin ale, I'll slug you!

Charlie Brown: I got a rock and a bock.

Linus: Never jump into a pile of leaves with an open bottle of pumpkin ale.

Lucy Van Pelt: All right, all right! Let's bob for apples in pumpkin ale! This is the way you do it.
Schroeder: Yeah Lucy! You should be good at this! You got the perfect mouth for it, and a hollow leg too!

Linus: There he is! There he is! It's the Great Pumpkin Ale! He's rising out of the pumpkin ale patch!
[Linus faints and the "Great Pumpkin Ale" is really Snoopy, meanwhile Sally is seething]
Linus: What happened? Did I faint? What did he leave us? Did he leave us any ale?

Sally Brown: I could have gone to tricks-or-treats! Halloween is over and I missed it! Instead, I spend the night on a pumpkin patch and all that came was a Budweiser and a beagle! You blockhead! I could have had apples and gum, and pumpkin ale and cookies and money and other things! I'll sue! Trick-or-treats and Pumpkin Ale only come once a year, and instead I spent all night sitting in a pumpkin patch! What a fool I was! You owe me restitution!

Linus: [to Charlie Brown after Sally just ripped him a new one] You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?
Charlie Brown: Yeah, I guess I have.
Linus: Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of Trick-or-Treats and Pumpkin Ale.

Charlie Brown: Oh brother. When are you going to stop believing in something that isn't true?
Linus: When YOU stop believing in that fat guy in a red suit and the white beard who goes, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Charlie Brown: Obviously, we are separated by denominational differences. So let's just sip a pumpkin ale.



Of course if you are going to drink on Halloween, please use moderation, and for the Great Pumpkin Ale's sake, drink pumpkin ale. Otherwise the results may not be pretty.

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