When I cook for friends and family, I like to try out new things. I regularly put together strange recipes, attempt bizarre cooking methods, and generally have a lot of fun stretching my friends' (and my) horizons. Of course, sometimes these attempts fail, and the tale of my Polish lemon soup is notorious, as is the story of a Mexican lime/chicken dish that was borderline inedible. Still, even in my worst culinary moments, I can proudly state that I have never, ever deliberately sabotaged a meal. Then again, this piece convinced me that there might be a lot to be said for using a meal to attack one's nearest and dearest. I especially liked the recipe for faux tofu:
Another one for the vegetarians. If they think they like tofu, wait until they sample your delicious mock tofu -- all you need is chicken fat, pureed pork loin, and five cups of piping-hot tallow. Cheryl will never know the difference.
I'm going to stick with cooking as means of showing love, affection, and concern. Still, I can't question the effectiveness of using it to destroy your friendships and alienate yourself!

Broke Stars: 11 Celebrities Who Went Bankrupt
Social Security Is Failing Even Faster Than We Thought
Man Says Starbucks Discriminated Against Him Because He Has Half An Arm
Chris Brown, Grammys 2012: Embattled Singer Slams Critics
Ford's clever Sports Illustrated Swimsuit ad features phantom model
Trace Adkins Reunites With College Crush, 30 Years Later
Van Gogh's Starry Night modded into beautiful interactive light and sound show (video)
'Hooker Teacher' Forced To Resign, Now Can't Find Work
Nick Cannon Hospitalized: Star Reveals New Serious Health Condition
Adele Five-Year Break? Singer Plans to Focus on Relationship, Write 'Happy Record'






9-24-2008 @2:43PM Monika said... I'm intrigued by this Polish lemon soup...
And while I never purposefully put meat in a veggie meal, I never fessed up the one time I made soup with chicken stock instead of veggie and forgot to tell my veg friend when I realized it the next day.
Reply
9-24-2008 @5:37PM Bruce Watson said... Monika-
I'd love to say that I'm being overly modest, but I'm not. Seriously, the lemon soup was like a runny, milky, sour version of vichysoisse. It was absolutely awful. Really.
Once, during a fight with my roommate, I pointed out that French onion soup, the only food he liked in the cafeteria, was made with beef stock. As he was a vegetarian, this effectively put him on a restricted diet of Froot Loops and apples. While he claimed to appreciate my decision to inform him, I felt guilty about it for years!
Reply
9-24-2008 @10:43PM Monika said... Bruce, I bet he knew, deep down, there was meat in there. Beef stock is far from subtle! Too bad he didn't know about veggie stocks. It's not quite the same, but it's better than nothing!
Reply