Last time I reviewed Starbucks (for their Vivanno Smoothies) a comment kerfuffle ensued. Well, friends, Starbucks has introduced a new line of "nutritious breakfast options" so strap yourselves in for Sbux Redux.
According to the java junket, "Starbucks will offer six new delicious and satiating breakfast items made with wholesome ingredients that include whole grains, real fruit, and healthy fats from nuts, seeds and Omega-3's to help you start your day the right way."
Hey, awesome! But do they taste any good? Reviews after the jump.
Baked Berry Stella - $1.75
The Baked Berry Stella is the pretty front pastry that Starbucks shoves to center stage to make the rest of the lineup look good. But star shape be damned, the Stella is arguably the worst of the new line, with a dense, dry, bland base and serious dearth of baked berries.
Apple Bran Muffin - $1.75
Remember back in 1991 when everybody started substituting applesauce for oil? This bran muffin tastes like that trend: Moist and apple-y, but missing something vital. That said, it may appeal to to people who can't stomach plain bran but are pining for a fiber boost.
Chewy Fruit & Nut Bar - $1.75
Easily the crown jewel of Starbucks' new offerings, the Chewy Fruit & Nut Bar lives up to that elusive rhyme of delicious and nutritious. Oats, nuts, and seeds bring the salt, dried fruit brings the sweet and sticky honey binds it all together like a good-for-you rice krispie treat.
Multigrain Roll with Spreads - $1.60
The honey-kissed multigrain roll is unremarkable, but its complementary Almond Butter is pure spreadable joy with superfine grain and salty undertones. At $1.60, this combo is a healthy, viable substitute for a bagel and cream cheese.
Power Protein Plate - $4.95
There's not much to critique here: A cage-free hard-boiled egg, cheese, apples, grapes, and a mini Lenders-ish whole-wheat bagel with a small packet of peanut butter. It packs a protein wallop: One-third of your daily requirement. This plate is solid for breakfast or lunch.
Perfect Oatmeal with choice of Dried Fruit, Nut Medley or Brown Sugar - $2.45
A cup is quarter-filled with instant oats, which the barista deluges with boiling water from the tea tap. You then get your choice of accoutrement (listed above) to swirl in. Tasty? Sure. But here's the problem: You can buy a 10-packet box of Quaker Instant Oatmeal for less than $5. Now I'm no math whiz, but I'm pretty sure that comes out to fifty cents per pouch o' instant oats. So why on earth would anyone pay $2.45?
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