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With entertaining and often addictive websites, such as YouTube, it has become common to find computers at the dinner table. It seems that over the past few years, dinners with friends have involved gathering around and looking at videos online. The computer is clearly changing social dynamics around the dinner table. A few weekends ago, while eating at a friend's house, my friend commented that she would not mind if she never saw a computer at the dinner table again. I wondered: is it poor etiquette to bring a laptop to dinner?
Is there something inherently wrong about a group of friends using a laptop as a means of socializing during dinner? To me, it seems like the problem would start once the socializing ceased to exist. Two people eating dinner and doing work on two separate laptops is obviously antisocial. Sending text messages and emails on a cellphone prevents us from enjoying the moment. And, enjoying a YouTube video with friends is not much different than watching television instead of conversing about the day.
Does a laptop, like television, function as a source of distraction? Does it disconnect us from each other and prohibit us from taking pleasure in our food and natural environment?
Have laptops infiltrated your social life at the dinner table? If so, do you think it's a bad thing?
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8-06-2008 @4:23PM Shannon said... I don't even like cell phones at the dinner table, so I think laptops are just ridiculous. Not only is it rude, but think of how much food/drink you could potentially spill on it and ruin the laptop. The thought of bringing a laptop to dinner had never even crossed my mind until this article. It's pretty scary to think this might become more commonplace.
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8-06-2008 @4:18PM Alex said... The fact that you're even asking the question strikes me as decidedly odd.
A laptop at the dinner table? Manners aside, any sane person would be worried about gravy/wine/butter getting in the keyboard and breaking the thing.
If your social skills are so poor that, as dinner table entertainment, you're having to resort to YouTube ... you need to overhaul radically your social life.
The dinner table is for eating, drinking, conversation and conviviality. I wouldn't even countenance a mobile phone at the table, let alone a laptop.
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8-06-2008 @4:34PM Stephanie said... That stikes me as quite an odd question. You mean during the meal? You mean with other people there? I am having trouble with this one.
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8-06-2008 @4:45PM Liz Petty said... My parents never allowed so much as a television in our kitchen when my brother and I were kids, and I refuse anything different in my own kitchen now. Thankfully, my boyfriend was raised the same way and agrees with me that the TV -- much less laptops -- pose a threat to communication at the dinner table.
Though conversation may be sparked by a group of friends/family/anyone gathered around a laptop watching a video or any other type of media, I believe conversation should be face-to-face when it comes to mealtimes. I think of parents discussing their children's days at school or a family talking about relevant issues over dinner, not a bunch of people sitting at their laptops, indulging in the technology that (in my opinion) has brought the world together as it pushes more personal relationships farther apart.
Don't get me wrong: I'm a technophile just as much as the next Slashfoodie, and I more than understand how busy and fast-paced life is for many people, to the point where there's hardly time for a family to sit down and share a nice meal together. I just don't think computer/Internet-related hobbies or quasi-addictions should be indulged while engaging at the dinner table (or during "bonding" time) with loved ones.
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8-06-2008 @4:49PM Big John said... At the dinner table, when dinner is about to be served? Beyond ridiculous. Put down the tech, folks. It'll be there in a couple hours.
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8-06-2008 @5:19PM mr. Obsession said... This is absolutely insane...I cannot imagine anyone I know (let alone my family) putting up with a laptop at dinner. CRAZY-rude.
Checking iPhone/BB/Sidekicks? Uh, yeah. That does go on from time to time...
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8-06-2008 @5:34PM Lindsey said... I agree with everyone else here. Bringing a laptop to the dinner table is even worse than bringing a book to the dinner table.
The only exception, I would think, is if you are dining alone. But then, if you are staring at your laptop while eating, maybe there's a reason you are dining alone.
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8-06-2008 @5:38PM Liz said... I can't believe what we've become. I would never let anyone bring a laptop, let alone a cell phone to the table during dinner. Meals are one of the last places that we can connect w/the people we choose to be around in person. Should we really get away from that? Can we as a society not be away from technology for just an hour a day? It's only been in the last 15 years or so that we've had this technology. I think we should all just turn off for at least one hour a day and enjoy what we have around us.
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8-06-2008 @5:49PM hng23 said... Things I don't allow at my dinner table: cell phones,computers or books. Sometimes we turn the house phone off when there's company. Meals around the table are for socializing with friends and bonding with family. The technology will be there when the meal is over.
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8-06-2008 @6:03PM silentstorm said... Actually, my iPhone's usually in my pocket during certain dinners, and when it starts getting insanely boring I play games.
Before you flame me, this is typically during family/business meets where I'm not concerned but I'm expected to show up anyway, and there isn't much else to do beyond like hanging outside with the valet parking guys or getting in the way of the waiters at the restaurant. (My entire family is full of idiots, not interested in talking with them, they only start questioning why the hell I'm happy making more money than they do as a programmer vs. going to medical school...or why I'm not married yet even though I'm not even done with college because they're interested in playing matchmaker by pairing me with a rich guy 3x my age...you get the idea.)
Normally I don't even bring my phone to the table unless I'm expecting a very important call, but it's usually on vibrate only in my pocket and I try to eat dinner as fast as possible.
Oh yeah, about *laptops*...I do bring them once in a while, usually a dinner with friends after I've come back from a big trip. They want me to bring it so I can show them pics from my trip while we're all drinking coffee post-dinner or something. Never *during* a meal.
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8-06-2008 @10:32PM W. Graves said... Post dinner laptop usage is ok in my books.
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8-06-2008 @11:10PM JackGzero said... From a mixed techno-phobe and tech savvy family (in the 1950's) when I was a child, when TV Dinners came out, we had a special day once in a while, with the TV rolled into the dining room (on wheels, they were big boxes then) and we all had TV dinners instead of the big prepared meals we usually had. It was easier on my Mother, and we all had fun finding out what was under that foil, commenting on that and whatever was on TV (not much choice back then - and we usually did not see what was on during dinner.) I currently bring the meal to the computer (so if I mess up a keyboard or mouse, so what - I have lots) there is also a TV next to the computer monitor, and I have brought a laptop to a bar where I ate and drank, and kept up with sports statistics along with the game on TV. NOT a new laptop, just an older one with wireless added. Different thing than a quiet meal with friends or family. Recently cleaned up a keyboard, mouse, monitor and desk sticky with mustard - not my mess, but my location - shared computer at work. Wait until the computer in the dining table becomes more common, it does exist in a few locations. You can buy one today.
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8-07-2008 @8:31AM Thanh T. said... Hmmm, very interesting question and article…Is it rude to bring a laptop to the dinner table?
I would agree with most readers… I think the dinner table is a special place to share with family-friends and manners are still important in today’s society.
An American writer once wrote; “Breakfast is the one meal at which it is perfectly good manners to read the paper.” (1954, Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette.)
Hmmm…perhaps, bringing a laptop to the dinner table is the sign of the times for some. It’s amazing how technology can shift cultures and family lifestyles within a few years.
When reading this article it made me think of The Jetsons-the Hanna-Barbera classic cartoons sitcom projecting…contemporary futuristic American culture and lifestyle.
If you remember from the cartoon sitcom series…Mr. George Jetsons was always worried about his job. He worked for a tough boss that was always on his case-his boss often yelling-JETSONS!!! Heehe…sounds familiar. : )
If you look around today business environments, (restaurants-business lunches) many business professionals have their laptops with them working on completing job assignments or browsing the web for information, news, or entertainment.
Today’s kids-students follow the same trend…surfing the net for research on homework assignments and communicate with their classmates-friends.
I think in today’s competitive global business environments…very few people have time to complete work tasks within a time frame. Some professionals may work overtime at the office (many eating at their desk) while others may bring their assignments home with them…
Now if we only had super-robots performing the hard work that would be great…heehe. I am glad to know some organizations treat their employees well. Some have flexible work schedules for hard working employees to help employees manage everyday situations-stress free environments.
I often have music in the background on when eating dinner.
Very interesting article indeed!
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8-07-2008 @12:19PM kevjohn said... There's an old technology available to deal with people attempting to use this new technology at the dinner table. It's called a dribble glass.
"Here's a bit of wine for your MacBook, sir."
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8-07-2008 @1:04PM Erin said... Many of my friends are pretty damn geeky, which is to say the computer is a large part of their social AND professional lives, but NONE of them think it's a good idea to bring a laptop to the dinner table.
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8-08-2008 @2:22PM pIrish said... We always usually have the television on when we're eating dinner as it's the best time to work through our Netflix subscriptions and we find it rather awkward to listen to and watch each other eat. It's just weird.
Anyway, we've started incorporating the laptop somewhat recently. Since many television stations are starting to put episodes up online, we'll occasionally watch one. The breaking point for us was when Comedy Central got every episode of South Park ever online.
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8-15-2008 @4:47PM CDN Crockett said... Yes it's sooo very rude!!!
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