There has been an overwhelming response to AOL's round up of America's Most Hated Foods. I mean, people are vomiting through their computers and damning foods to illegality (poor cooked carrots). I've gotta admit, I don't have any aversions that strong. Sure, I have foods I dislike (I'm lookin at you, Mr. Sun-Dried Tomato), but nothing that is going to make me weep into my dinner plate.
That said, I do have a pretty serious issue with seasonal food hatred. Certain foods that I enthusiastically eat all winter long just cannot cross my plate during the summer.
- Mint-Chocolate. As stated in this M&M review, mint-chocolate means wintry warmth. Although there has been accusation that I got this association from Starbucks (damn you, Grande Soy Mint Mocha!), I maintain that this comes from Christmas' candy cane cataclysm.
- Potato Soup. Obviously, it's hot. But what's worse, it's dense, and starchy, and thick, and kinda fuzzy. These are not acceptable adjectives for summer outerwear, let alone my internal organs.
- Breakfast sausage. Now, I'm all about a sausage on a bun; toss on some spicy mustard and it's a par-tay. But a girthy link of meat just sitting on my plate first thing in the morning, waiting for a greasy, snappy bite to set it free? Hell no.
- Pasta Sauce. Although many avoid pasta during the summer, I shamelessly embrace it ('tis a lovely canvas for vegetables). But as soon as you pour on the marinara, vodka sauce, or god forbid alfredo, you're essentially smothering your pasta with a hot blanket. Not very thoughtful.
- Bananas. Seriously, how can people eat these during the summer?! It's like voluntarily coating your mouth with Mod-Podge!
- Leftovers. Not a specific food, per se, but I do fear for the safety of day-old food. Despite the fact that there is thermometric evidence that my fridge maintains its cucumber cool of 35 degrees F., there is still an irrational part of my brain that's all, "I just know the sun snuck into my fridge and Listeria-ized my moo goo gai pan."
- Cinnamon Toast. Let's see... Thanksgiving's star spice bathes in a hot, wet, buttery puddle that collects in the depression of the bread. Who on earth can start a summer day that way?
- Mashed Potatoes. See: Potato Soup. See: Bananas. Add gravy. Kill yourself.
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