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Pizza Hut will not leave me alone


I made the grave mistake of ordering Pizza Hut online once, about eight months ago. I had a craving, I read about the online ordering, and I went for it.

...Big mistake. First, it was way too expensive. Second, I happen to live in one of those delivery netherworlds - between the boundaries of one delivery area and another - where the delivery dude refuses to visit. This, however, was not made clear to me on the website - I was easily able to enter my address, and the system informed me that my food would arrive shortly.

Two hours later, no pizza. I wearily called up my local Pizza Hut branch, and a pissed-off sounding teen answered. "...Yea? Pizza Hut?"

"Um...I ordered online, and it still hasn't arrived. Do you happen to know...?"

"Oh. Yea," she said, snapping her gum. "We don't deliver there." (This, mind you, was about .75 miles away). "You can come pick it up."

...And then the e-mailing began.


It started off slow, like an eager pen pal, or your grandmother, testing out her hotmail account. Then it increased, more along the lines of an anxious mother figure or a ticked-off DVD rental place. And now, it's become a jealous, psycho ex-girlfriend, unyielding and exhaustive in her attempts.

Coupons, surveys, alerts...I stopped paying attention about four months ago, and stopped deleting them a month later. In my inbox, they gather, taking up space and being a nuisance, as I vow to never, ever order Pizza Hut pizza again. (Oh, and before you suggest it, I tried to unsubscribe. Twice.) I'm doomed to live the life of an ex-Pizza Hut patron.

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