My biggest FAIL was about 14 years ago on my son's birthday. His favorite meal was my meatloaf with mashed potatoes and peas so that was what I was cooking for him. Well, at the last minute he told me he had invited his girlfriend and her parents along with one of his friends. I had some venison burger in the freezer a friend had given me so I added it to the hamburger in order to have enough for the unexpected people. The result was disgusting. My husband still claims to this day it was my only cooking FAILure.

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My sister and I once want to make a meatloaf. Unfortunately, we only had that *green* ketchup in the house that Heinz made a few years back. By the time we had formed the meat into a big ball it looked so gross that we threw it out.

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The peach quick bread that never set up. When I finally gave up and took it out of the oven, I discovered that I had created a giant rectangular orange gummy bear. Ugh.

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Gross failed chicken story:

http://lloydandlauren.com/?p=1417

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I tried to make gougeres recently, and thought I'd be smart piping them with a cookie press. But I used too small of a tip. FAIL.

http://kittbo.blogspot.com/2008/01/gruyre-gougres-grrrrrr.html

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I had discovered fish and creamcheese stuffed wontons, and wanted some badly, but didn't want to order out. Make a long story short, I had one of those sandwich makers, that you can make pocket sandwiches out of, some scallions, cream cheese and canned salmon, and figured they would be great...

well, I buttered the outside of the bread, spread creamcheese on the inside, added some of the drained canned salmon and chopped scallions, put the bread on top, also prepared the same way, butter on one side creamcheese on the other, and shut them in.

They were smelling pretty good, the fish and onion, but when I opened the lid, I found the bread was nicely toasted, but inside the creamcheese had turned to white curds and it somehow tasted very sour with the salmon and scallions...FAIL FAIL FAIL...

However, they made awesome grilled cheese-and-whatevers and other things that were described in the infomercial.

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Citrus curd has been a staple in our home for years.One Xmas I got ambitious & thought, hey, why not blood orange for a change? Nooo!!! It thickened up properly, but it was disgustingly sweet & the colour, rather than being the pretty rose I envisioned, was a pale, sickly pink shade of beige that for some reason reminded me of raw bacon fat. Since then I've stuck to tried & true lemon or (Key)lime.

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I roasted a chicken upside down! And not too long ago, either. It was still edible, but my quest for crispy breast skin was, needless to say, fruitless. And damn, did I feel stupid.

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My biggest fail came just a week ago, when I decided to try my hand at some flourless peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

The dough looked fine once mixed, I laid them out onto the cookie sheets and tossed 'em into the oven. After half the cooking time was over, I opened up the oven to discover that the cookies had expanded to fill the entire baking sheet, and already looked done on the outsides and raw in the middle. So I turned them around and let them bake for the rest of the time.

Big mistake.

I've now learned how easy it is to create peanut butter flavored rubber. Not only did they expand into one giant cookie, but they were burnt. No, they weren't just burnt; they had turned into a natural plastic making it impossible to cut them at all. All I could do was move them directly from the baking sheet to the garbage can. Outside.

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