(Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert!)

Just like Nikki's blueberry-stuffed mushrooms, last night's episode of Top Chef was forgettable. We all guessed that Valerie would be sent home during the first three minutes of the show, when she received a disproportionate amount of airtime to discuss her friendship with competitor Stephanie. Why does the editing always give it away? (I know, I know: We get to know her and then feel sad when she leaves, yawn). So there weren't many surprises, but there's still plenty to discuss.Rather than shake up our ideas of which chefs are the strongest, this episode pretty much confirmed the order that we established last week. Though Stephanie ended up in the bottom after winning last week and Richard bombed his Quickfire, I don't think we'll see either leaving anytime soon. Other strong competitors include Antonia, Mark, Zoi and Andrew if he can keep it together (honestly, from the look on his face, it seemed like he knew that the balsamic vinegar would disqualify him in the Quickfire, and he was hoping the judges wouldn't notice – or am I just biased?). Though I love his personality, Erik's dishes look consistently sub-par to me, and we haven't seen enough of chefs like Lisa or Manuel to pass judgment. Spike ("I molested the produce section") is a similarly undeveloped character.

We could go on to analyze the dishes of both the challenges (Quickfire: 5 ingredients from a Farmer's Market, Elimination: Cook mainly with foods from the diets of 5 animals), but the fare was a standard mix of the good (I wanted that banana bread), the bad (soggy crab salad) and the ugly (how many feces allusions can you make about one mushroom dish?). Wylie Dusfrene was no Bourdain, and I think the show lacked for not including Colicchio in the first 30 minutes or so.

In the end, I didn't care that Andrew won, or that Valerie lost (other than my sadness at seeing two women leave in the first two weeks). Next week, I want more drama and more flames.