Culinary disasters

by Joanne Lutynec, Posted Feb 4th 2008 @ 2:03PM

My friends and I were discussing kitchen horror stories the other day, and I was reminded of this one particular disaster that I created shortly after learning how to cook.

I was taught basic culinary skills at a very young age. My parent's kitchen was a dream to work in as they had every imaginable ingredient, appliance, and gadget available. Once I was old enough to see over the stove and prepare bacon without burning myself, I was given free reign to create just about anything I wanted to prepare for dinner.

One day I decided to tackle Chicken Cordon Bleu after seeing it done step-by-step on TV. It didn't really seem that difficult - thaw out chicken breasts, pound them to a 1/4 inch thickness. Stuff with thin slices of ham and cheese, dip in egg wash and breadcrumbs, secure with a toothpick and bake until fully cooked. Sounded relatively easy to me. Well, they turned out beautifully. I proudly presented the gorgeous little golden works of art to my family, and everyone humored me with the requisite amount of praise - I was just 13 years old, after all.

The chicken was nicely cooked throughout and tender, and the cheese oozed when you sliced it open. After a bite or two though, it was apparent that something had gone terribly wrong. To put it simply, the flavor was gag-worthy. My family choked back a few more bites before deeming it inedible, and we went over the entire process to try to determine what went wrong.

Turns out when I went to secure the rolls of chicken, I unknowingly grabbed mint toothpicks instead of regular, unflavored ones. After baking for almost an hour, the mint essence had completely permeated the chicken and cheese, absolutely ruining the entire batch. Trust me, that is not a flavor that is soon forgotten, and my family has (naturally) never let me live it down since.

I know some of you have stories that can top that one, so I'll ask - what was the worst mistake you ever made in the kitchen?

Filed Under: Cooking With Kids, Food Oddities, Ingredients, Methods
Tags: baking, cheese, dinner, oddities, poultry

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Reader comments (Page 3 of 3)

2-10-2008 @2:02AM Carla said... I was a wee little girl when my mother was cooking dinner for all the family and her boss. She was preparing chicken and rice together. She sometimes made it with yellow/spanish? rice. This time, she reached up into the cupboard and pulled out what she thought was the rice. When she brought it to the table, we discovered she had used birdseed instead of rice....
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2-08-2008 @6:19PM Laura said... Divine Bird, it could be worse. I did the same thing you did, only instead of gouging the knife through the pan, I used a sawing action to try to cut the burned brownies, using my other hand to stabilize the pan, and I stabbed the knife right through my hand. First time I ever got stitches....
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2-10-2008 @5:52PM Carol said... My sister, who also hates to cook, was newly married and still making an effort to try to be a good cook/ wife, when she decided to make a pumpkin pie from scratch.
At the time they had little money, and as someone had given her the pumpkin she felt lucky to be able to serve up a treat for supper.
After a long process of cutting up the tough pumpkin, cooking it, and mashing it up, finally it was ready. She poured the somewhat watery pumkin into the unbaked pie crust she had labored to make from a recipe. Soon the smell of spices filled the air. After over an hour in the oven, out came a lovely, dark orange pie. When we cut into it, the pie crust was 3 inches thick and the pumpkin was only a thin covering. The crust had absorbed all the liquid from the pumpkin, leaving a thin gelatinous pumpkin filling that you could hardly cut.
It is 30 years later, and I don't think she has ever made a pie from scratch again.
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