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The FDA's food pyramid has helped people from all walks of life decide what to eat every day. Now, however, there is a new walk of life, or I should say unlife, that will benefit from the pyramid. The Zombie food pyramid sets new guidelines for the undead in their insatiable pursuit of sustenance.
There's only one problem with it: Zombies like brains the most, so why is it the base group? Live humans have to consume fats and sugars sparingly. I think the FDA got it wrong when they put the food that zombies crave as the one they can eat the most. That's like saying you can eat 6-11 servings of ice cream a day!
I'm going to start a letter writing campaign to the FDA telling them they're wrong (like they don't get any of those). One of the pyramids needs to be changed. Either I get to eat 6-11 servings of sugar/fat a day or zombies need to gnaw sparingly on brains. I don't know how many zombies are out there, but I'm hoping for the ice cream so they get to keep the brains. Mmmmmm brains.
[via geekstir]
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1-07-2008 @8:37AM Oregonian said... Sorry, but writing to FDA won't do any good. The Food Pyramid is a USDA product. That's the United States Department of Agriculture, not the Food and Drug Administration, which is part of the United States Department of Health and Human Services.
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1-07-2008 @11:03AM Patrick said... Have these people not heard of the all-brain diet?
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38541
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1-07-2008 @11:17AM Lindsey said... This has to be one of the weirdest entries I've ever seen on this blog. Congratulations!
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1-07-2008 @11:33AM beanspants said... zombies actually eat brains for fun, not for sustanance, so they can eat as much as they want. they are already dead; they can't become deader if they don't follow a proper diet.
Not only that, about 50% of the stuff they eat falls though the rotted holes in their chest without even being processed through the stomach.
i know this to be true because a voodoo curse made me one!
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1-07-2008 @3:58PM David said... I'm surprised at the lack of graaaaaaaaaaiiiiins.
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1-07-2008 @4:27PM rb said... seen it
http://www.seriouseats.com/required_eating/2007/07/brains-the-core-of-the-zombie.html
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1-07-2008 @4:47PM Prof. Griffin said... Well, that's fun!
Let's remember folks...that zombies (aka Ghouls) will ANYTHING...any flesh...not just brains.
The 'Brain craving Ghoul' was popularized in the parody film, Return of the Living Dead and it's sequels. In THOSE films and in those alone, did they eat ONLY brains.
In Night of the Living Dead (the one that started it all) they ate everything...and that's pretty standard.
Sorry to be picky...but it's my job! LOL.
Prof. Griffin
Midnight Shadow Show
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1-08-2008 @4:33PM Muffin said... Uhhh...braiiiiiins are the zombies' favorite food and also the food which they should consume the most of because zombies are a more highly evolved lifeform. Er, undeathform.
In several million years, as longer life and physical health due to eating the appropriate foods result in greater mating potential among live humans, eventually live humans will evolve a preference for graiiiiiiins over ice cream and sweets which historically were things which live humans should eat the most of.
That the zombies have already evolved to the point at which they crave the best foods for them given their current state...I'd say we should be afraid. Be very afraid. They are not done evolving.
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