Just leaked memo from the head of the Food Network!

Instructions for creating new programming for the Food Network:

Step 1 - Find new host

Step 2 - If popularity of new host explodes, use new host ad nauseam on every conceivable product and special that you can. Publish many, many cookbooks.

Step 3 - When audience burns out on new host go to step 1.

Note: There are many paths to achieve step 1:
- create dumb reality show that never produces a viable new host but whom you'll have to throw some money behind because you can have it look like you chose poorly.
- create dumb show with the relatives of a current host
- create dumb "special presentation" (read dumb cooking contest).

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Wow, Rachel's vacations. Let me guess, she'll go to America, America, america, Europe, Europe, Europe, and ... Europe?

God forbid anyone on the Food Network go anywhere interesting like Asia or South America.

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I want someone to off this skank. I'm so sick of the yummo's and spastic cooking.

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(shaking head)

Poor poor Food Network.

Oh how you had such a good thing going. Didn't you see that we were all willing to throw you very large sums of money your way for well made TECHNIQUE shows (think Good Eats - Alton Brown) and didn't you notice us flocking to watch Iron Chef and the Food Network Challenges?

Oh poor poor Food Network.

You have gone the way of mainstream network television. Greedy. And not so much greed as is the need for the money too fast. We put you up there with the UPN and NBC, these are obviously the opinions you care about. Not the ones with the middle class paychecks ready to hand them to you.

Poor poor Food Network, you with your Rachel Ray sickness, well, we call it that because we throw up every time we see her, and with your Paula Deen fascination (we are from the South and her accent even hurts OUR ears!).

We're sorry Food Network, we have to go now and put our paychecks back in our pockets and say good bye...

...at least Good Eats is available on DVD...

IMHO

http://tablebread.blogspot.com

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BARF!!! ...but then I'm already so disgusted with the Food Network that not even Alton Brown can get me to watch it anymore so I guess I'll live whatever that stoopid twinkie is babbling about. @@

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Queue the Food TV and Rachael Ray haters. Oh wait I'm late to the party.

If you guys don't like it don't watch it. That's pretty simple...

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Another part of Food Network's C*ck ups was their backing for J-A-G (josh adam garcia) in the previous "Next Food Network Star". He was a total thug and I was appalled that the judges even had him past the 1st round of cuts.

He is crass, a fake, uneducated and totally out of touch with reality.

I agree that there should be more Alton Brown shows, and less of the one with the Dean boys (they suck too).

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I am glad they are over marketing Retchal the sooner she over sells herself the sooner she will be done. What I do not get is why they let Rae Ray do another show on another network but when Emeril wanted to have less exclusivity and do other shows for other networks they would not go for it. Why is that?

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"God forbid anyone on the Food Network go anywhere interesting like Asia or South America.".... or India. "Yucko" is what I hear....

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ughhh with so many people that absolutely can't stand her (hearing her voice is like nails on a chalkboard) why is she still around? I went to Best Buy last night to do some shopping for next week and she was on all of the tv's, i can't even go to best buy without her being annoying everywhere!!!
let alone go to the grocery store, shes on ritz and triscuits and on the cover of her stupid magazine when i'm checking out. and her damn dunkin donuts commercial is on every other commerical sometimes. toooo much.

at least jaime oliver is coming back, i used to like him on the naked chef, but that was a while ago.
and i love alton brown too :o)

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The Food Network had such potential. Now it's officially a painful joke. She must have given a few "Lewinsky's to get to where she is, that, or she sold her soul to the Devil.
Julia is rolling in grave...again.

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"If you guys don't like it don't watch it. That's pretty simple..."

See, the problem with that is that I DON'T watch her...but she's one of those horrid creations that cannot be avoided. It's like if you look away, someone from another direction is shoving her in your face. Like someone teasing a girl with a dead mouse while she tries to cover her eyes and turn away.

The other day I was at a store and I had her crap shoved in my face in 5 different locations in the store, while at the same time I hear her over the PA telling me that she's just like all women, she loves two things...'eating and shopping'. I'm not a woman and *I* was offended by that gross generalization. Next let's talk about how guys like to work the remote and won't ask for directions.

And the thing I cannot understand is that I don't know a SINGLE person who likes this woman. I am baffled...again I guess.

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"If you guys don't like it don't watch it. That's pretty simple..."

Totally valid point. But to me, this method of programming is indicative of how Food Network eats itself and churns off as many viewers as it attracts.

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