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Thanksgiving: OMG! It's Thanksgiving Day and U forgot to defrost the turkey!


butterball turkeyIt happens to the best of us. We get so caught up in the planning of a grand Thanksgiving feast fit for a Pilgrim king -- we've got spreadsheets, project plans, timetables, shopping lists, guest lists, lists of lists -- that we forget one of the most basic things about the preparation.

We forget to thaw the frozen turkey.

Hey, don't worry. It's not your fault that you were running around like a turkey with its head cut off, and we'll only make fun of you until three years from now, but all is not lost. You don't have to worry about whether you can safely cook a frozen turkey because the answer is "Yes" according to food safety experts at the Mayo Clinic (and trust me, I trust the Mayo Clinic).

The full explanation is on the Mayo Clinic's website, but I'll summarize for those of you panicked folks here.

What you CAN do:

  • You can safely roast a frozen turkey; it just takes longer (duh).The USDA recommends that you add 50% of the normal cooking time for a thawed turkey to the total cooking time. Of course, we all know that cooking time is a very bad way to roast a turkey, so use a trusty thermometer and make sure that sexy inner thigh reaches a hot 165 degrees F.
  • If the turkey was frozen, that little paper packets of creepy turkey innards was probably stuck inside the body cavity under a glacier's thickness of ice. Don't worry about it when you first start roasting the frozen turkey, but make sure to jiggle it out of there as soon as the turkey has defrosted enough in the oven.

What you CAN'T do:

  • Roast only. You cannot grill, smoke, deep-fry or microwave (wait, who the hell microwaves their turkey?!) frozen turkey.
  • If the creepy turkey innards were in a plastic bag and you foolishly didn't get them out in time and the plastic has melted all over the inside of the turkey, you're done. You can't eat that turkey that might have plastic chemical-y stuff all up inside it. You're also banned from ever making Thanksgiving turkey again because Mayo just gave you a second chance and you blew it with the plastic giblet bag.

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Your turkey may not be centerpiece of the Thanksgiving spread, if you follow our simple tips on scoring that holiday ham.

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