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Halloween is a time for candy. No matter what you do the rest of the year, how healthy you eat and what diet you follow, Halloween is the day you eat peanut butter cups, jawbreakers, and candy corn. But kids often get treats in their bag that just make them scratch their heads. Here are the ones I remember from my childhood.
1. Apples and bananas. Seriously, I don't want fruit in my bag. What is this, Halloween or a dental convention? Giving fruit to kids on Halloween just screams "I forgot to buy candy and I had this lying around."
2. Malted Milk Balls. I like the taste of this candy...for about a minute. If I eat more than a few of them I start to get sick.
3. Something that isn't candy. Don't try to fool me by giving me a coupon to McDonald's or a deck of cards. To quote the song, I want candy. (Cash is always welcome though.)
4. Cheese. I'm walking around on a cold night trapped in a mummy costume and you're giving me wrapped slices of cheese? Are you a representative for Kraft or something?
5. Circus Peanuts candy. Gah!
6. Dark chocolate. Sure, I love dark chocolate now, but when I was a kid, it tasted really bad to me, and none of the kids I knew ate it.
7. Black licorice. Sure, the color really says Halloween, but the taste...
8. A plastic bag filled with beef stew. OK, I never actually got this, but wouldn't that suck?
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10-31-2007 @5:33PM Allison said... I don't mind the coupons or gift certificates, if it's for a free Wendy's Frosty.
Adding to the list: Pennies, raisins, cheapo office desk candy, religious tracts
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10-31-2007 @5:34PM whammer said... Circus peanuts are indeed vile. The worst house I remember gave each kid one circus peanut...not even individually wrapped. So each one of us licked the peanut and stuck it on the windshield of their car. Apparently they have amazing adhesive properties.
I've often wondered how many were found on the car the next morning.
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10-31-2007 @5:46PM Kat K. said... Double Bubble couldn't be more useless. My friend once got a piece with a rock in it, but that was kinda redundant.
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10-31-2007 @5:51PM Kat K. said... Oh - and religious tracts*, toothbrushes and pencils.
*Jack Chick tracts are a notable exception.
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10-31-2007 @5:49PM Michael Schmitt said... A Gideon bible lifted from a hotel...
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11-01-2007 @6:44AM tracy_molly said... Someone here gives out fortune cookies every year and they end up a crumbly mess in the bottom of the sack. Also homemade cookies or brownies. What mom is going to let the kid eat them?
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10-31-2007 @6:06PM Janis said... Really disliked Smarties, Pixie Stix---I needed chocolate.
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11-01-2007 @9:55AM Heidi said... Gift certificates rock. I used to give kids coupons good for free Krispy Kreme donuts when there was still one of the stores near me.
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10-31-2007 @6:19PM Foodie Bride said... We had a neighbor who was a regional sales rep for a cereal company. We got two full-sized boxes of breakfast cereal and a box of granola bars every year. We hated that house but my parents loved it - they didn't have to buy anything but milk for breakfast for the rest of the year.
Another neighbor worked for the company that made Little Debbie snack cakes. He gave us boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls and Star Crunches. We loved that house.
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10-31-2007 @7:07PM ESC said... a nickle
an entire 1lb bag of jelly beans - sure, it was cool, but wow, it sucked carrying that around in my bag for the rest of the night.
hugs - those "juice" jugs with the foil top. also heavy, and also gross
necco wafers - I know they're a classic, but really. ew.
smarties - i think that's what they were, they look like pills and come in a stack wrapped with clear plastic. after one package, the sugar headache sets in and you're done for the night.
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10-31-2007 @9:15PM Camille Bauman said... Popcorn balls! Yuck.
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10-31-2007 @9:39PM A Viewer said... How about popcorn, period?
Most packaged popcorn tastes disgusting, and when I was a little kid I hated getting them.
Once I got a cribbage board and a deck of cards. Can't eat it, can't play cards (not back then anyway) so what's the point?
And in the food realm, yes I have gotten fruit and those stupid circus peanuts. The latter tastes nasty, and the former is too healthy. May Halloween never be taken over by the health food nuts! (No offense intended to any of the aforementioned nuts who might be reading this.) I mean, it's Halloween. Let kids be kids and eat candy. You don't have to make them eat healthy all of the time. If you don't want them to get fat, make them play outside and don't let them watch TV all the time. And on Halloween? It's one day a year; no one wants a piece of fruit.
Also, I was always mad when I got jawbreakers because my mom wouldn't let me have them, but that's just me.
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10-31-2007 @10:36PM Megan said... Packets of instant grits...my cousin ran out of candy one year and passed out grits. The kids were not pleased. ; )
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11-02-2007 @8:55AM Adriane said... Whammer your CP story made me howl in laughter-- one measly peanut?! Never received circus peanuts, thank God..my father and I still to this day call them door stops.
Smarties were very low on my list, as were sweetarts and the like. Anyone ever get the weird orange or black wrapped taffy? I think they were PB flavored or something...those were awful.
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11-01-2007 @10:29AM SeanMike said... "8. A plastic bag filled with beef stew. OK, I never actually got this, but wouldn't that suck?"
Bob - THAT. IS. BRILLIANT! (to be said in the "This is Sparta!" voice)
I wish I'd seen that before last night! Not that any parent would let their kids eat beef stew some stranger had given them...
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11-01-2007 @11:05AM Bear Silber said... Snack size potato chip bags. Will actually Frito's but he had an assortment of Lay's including ruffles, and plain potato chips. They were completlely cruched and the bottom of the sack by the end of the night. My guess is he forgot to buy candy.
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11-01-2007 @12:32PM Fash said... The sticky peanut butter things that come wrapped in black or orange waxed paper! Those and candy corn were like getting dirt handed to me.
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11-01-2007 @12:53PM kevjohn said... Fash beat me to it. Those black and orange peanut butter things should be considered WMD's.
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11-01-2007 @2:26PM Pete said... I once got some Rolaids, was more confused than anything else.
Although in retrospect, maybe the people were actually looking out for me...
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11-01-2007 @2:38PM TLR said... Tooth brushes from the dentist's house. LAME
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