Stop me if you've heard this one before.It's a beautiful, sun-spangled day in Seattle, a perfect mid-summer cocktails-on-the-back-porch kind of day. We roll into a well-known bar on our way home to enjoy a drink on their patio. Christine, my fiancee, smartly orders a beer. Dopey ol' Keith swiftly makes two mistakes. One mistake I outlined in an earlier post, namely, I didn't specify precisely what I wanted and got a rudimentary version of a Manhattan, paying eight bucks for the pleasure.
The real error, however, came earlier, when I walked into the bar and looked around. This is a bar with glassy-eyed mounted animal heads lording over the place, a selection of hot nuts, Led Zeppelin on the jukebox, an impressive line of beer taps and European beers in the fridge behind the bartender. Getting the idea? I certainly didn't, and here's the kicker -- everybody in this bar, and I mean every dude and dudette, is buddying up to a pint of beer.
Everyone, that is, except me. And that's the problem.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I wasn't paying attention to where I was, and I certainly wasn't drinking like the Romans drink. One analogy would be, say, ordering one of the salads at McDonalds. Why go to a burger joint for a salad? It's the same thing with bars. Why order a Manhattan in a beer joint? I'd say it's a no-go for Cosmopolitans, Mojitos and Margaritas in this place as well. Do the bartenders know how to make them? Suuuuuure they do. The chances of that Margarita tasting fresh and wonderful and fully worth eight smackers? Somewhere between slim and fat, my friend. Having said that, a whole world of microbrews and imports and even our watery über-domestics await your parched taste-buds at bars like this one, so get yourself a barstool and order up a pint of something you've never tried. Don't drink beer? Heck, I'll bet the gin and tonics here are as ferocious as the mounted animal heads. Stick to the basics, stick to what they obviously do well, and you will have a much better evening. You'll also have spent your money more wisely.
In a wine bar? Well, duh, drink wine. Steakhouses, hotel bars and fine-dining restaurants usually kill Martinis and Manhattans, seeing as how they make them constantly. Sushi bar? Well, you know what to order, right? Certainly not a Mai-Tai*.
Cocktail lounge? Well, a cocktail, right? Not so fast. Not all cocktail havens (or their bartenders) are alike. Next post, I'll tell you what to look for.
(See Keith in action behind the bar at Union - 1400 First Avenue, Seattle, WA, 206-838-8000)
*Editor's note: You can sometimes find spectacular Polynesian drinks like Mai-Tais at Chinese restaurants. Glance at the bar to see if there are omnipresent hurricane glasses and bottles of Jamaican style rum like Myers or Gosling. Mai Tai, Roa Ae!
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