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Stop me if you've heard this one before.It's a beautiful, sun-spangled day in Seattle, a perfect mid-summer cocktails-on-the-back-porch kind of day. We roll into a well-known bar on our way home to enjoy a drink on their patio. Christine, my fiancee, smartly orders a beer. Dopey ol' Keith swiftly makes two mistakes. One mistake I outlined in an earlier post, namely, I didn't specify precisely what I wanted and got a rudimentary version of a Manhattan, paying eight bucks for the pleasure.
The real error, however, came earlier, when I walked into the bar and looked around. This is a bar with glassy-eyed mounted animal heads lording over the place, a selection of hot nuts, Led Zeppelin on the jukebox, an impressive line of beer taps and European beers in the fridge behind the bartender. Getting the idea? I certainly didn't, and here's the kicker -- everybody in this bar, and I mean every dude and dudette, is buddying up to a pint of beer.
Everyone, that is, except me. And that's the problem.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I wasn't paying attention to where I was, and I certainly wasn't drinking like the Romans drink. One analogy would be, say, ordering one of the salads at McDonalds. Why go to a burger joint for a salad? It's the same thing with bars. Why order a Manhattan in a beer joint? I'd say it's a no-go for Cosmopolitans, Mojitos and Margaritas in this place as well. Do the bartenders know how to make them? Suuuuuure they do. The chances of that Margarita tasting fresh and wonderful and fully worth eight smackers? Somewhere between slim and fat, my friend. Having said that, a whole world of microbrews and imports and even our watery über-domestics await your parched taste-buds at bars like this one, so get yourself a barstool and order up a pint of something you've never tried. Don't drink beer? Heck, I'll bet the gin and tonics here are as ferocious as the mounted animal heads. Stick to the basics, stick to what they obviously do well, and you will have a much better evening. You'll also have spent your money more wisely.
In a wine bar? Well, duh, drink wine. Steakhouses, hotel bars and fine-dining restaurants usually kill Martinis and Manhattans, seeing as how they make them constantly. Sushi bar? Well, you know what to order, right? Certainly not a Mai-Tai*.
Cocktail lounge? Well, a cocktail, right? Not so fast. Not all cocktail havens (or their bartenders) are alike. Next post, I'll tell you what to look for.
(See Keith in action behind the bar at Union - 1400 First Avenue, Seattle, WA, 206-838-8000)
*Editor's note: You can sometimes find spectacular Polynesian drinks like Mai-Tais at Chinese restaurants. Glance at the bar to see if there are omnipresent hurricane glasses and bottles of Jamaican style rum like Myers or Gosling. Mai Tai, Roa Ae!
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11-06-2008 @2:28PM mrkoozie said... All comments so far seem to make sense to me. Looks like the post might have been made under a tiny bit of influence. Maybe Vodka! When you all have gotten tired of mixing drinks then just crack open a cold one and make sure to use your koozie.
http://www.beerkoozies.com
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10-20-2007 @12:31PM DBlacoe said... Just as mentioned in this article, one must size up the bar and the bartender, 20 years olds generally don't know how to make a good dry gin martini. Plus I make them best, just the way I like them :) It's harder to mess up a draft beer, although not impossible.
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11-03-2007 @9:16PM Diane said... Where can i get recepies for mixing drinks, and how do you make Kami Kazi Thank You
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11-07-2007 @6:28PM Donna Kemmer said... I have been bartending for some 20 years now, and I kind of took offense of your article about not getting a quality drink from a slammed bartender. In fact I work best under a full bar. I have never had a complaint as to the quality of my drinks. If a bartender is a good bartender they can still make a great tasting drink even with OMG bottled juice, sour mix from a gone and worse well bottles. If your looking for a high end cocktail the kind you'll pay 20 bucks for and be bored to death by the stuffy bartender, I'm sure there are plenty of places to go but don't trash the bartender or bar thats the whole in the wall on the corner chances are you'll have a better time in there even if your drink is served in a plastic cup. lastly, those of us who work behind the schtik, in such a place usually wince when we see someone sit down and start asking for fresh squeezed lime juice.....lighten up thats why people go to a bar to have fun.
sincerely Ibar10D
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11-07-2007 @7:48PM Vickie said... Note to the Editor: Sushi Bars are traditionally Japanese, not Chinese. The implied drink in this entry I'm hoping was Sake, which can be served in the traditional style at body temperature or in the modern style chilled.
Good drinks of all sorts can be had in all types of Asian restaurants. Many of the upscale Asian places (Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc.) have a full bar with excellent bartenders because they have very sophisticated patrons.
Not all Asian food and drinks are alike--just like the people. Please do your research before you apologize for your writer.
Thank you!
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11-12-2007 @12:25AM kathy said... i am in total agreement with Diane in comment#3. i've worked in neighborhood bars, hotels, clubs and high end restaurants but the quality of my drink, attitude and service rarely varies from the strict standards i tend bar according to. and believe me, when i'm at another bar i evaluate (judge) them by the same standards and, YES, it definitely affect their tip. i have always gotten compliments on my drinks. i consider myself a mixologist. anybody can slop a bunch of ingredients into a glass and call it a drink. mixology is an art, just as is customer service. my first obligation is to make everyone welcome and glad to be there. that comes with a smile with their welcome, some ball busting, the quick retort to anybodys jab and the guarentee of fun and laughter. my bar is always clean. when visiting, i clean my own space cause they're not going to do it right. they try but i don't want to put my elbows on a bar they only wiped the mess around and maybe diluted it a little with water. in bartenders school, our teach suggesed leaving puddles on the bar, especially if sticky like sambuca and directed the change be put into said puddles. nobody wants sticky, messy money. that in conjunction with their attitude adjustment will bring in the big bucks. i've never had to resort to this tactic and i have always gotten good tips, an impressive following, a full bar and register.
i only discovered your site today so you may have covered some subjects that i missed but i think, especially on a bartenders blog that an interesting subject would be 'tippers', i.e., 'i'll take care of you later', and my favorite, they put out a five before their announced last drink but when they leave it has mysteriously become a one! i'm sure we all have the 'quintessential' tip story. if you've already blogged this subject, perhaps i could be directed there.
thanks. i enjoyed.
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1-11-2008 @3:43PM Bob Robertson said... I have been a bartender for 45 years in the San Francisco bay area. I do not believe Martinis and Manhattans should be shaken. Thats for James Bond not for me. Stirred only. Thanks for listening. Bob
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