How often do you take the message inside your fortune cookie seriously? If you're anything like me, you read them for a quick giggle and then leave them crumpled on the table. Occasionally I'll keep one if it seems particularly applicable to something I'm going through, but that's fairly rare.
But what if you got a fortune that predicted bad times ahead? Or one that suggested that "Perhaps you've been focusing too much on yourself." Or even possibly "Your luck is just not there. Attend to practical matters today." These are just a few of the fortunes that consumers have been discovering lately in the cookies produced and distributed by Wonton Food, the country's largest fortune cookie manufacturer.
Apparently, they decided to spice things up and so hired some new freelance writers to create new fortunes. These insulting and dire notes are what these new writers came up with. The backlash has been swift, as people have written into the company to complain about the negative nature of their fortunes. Wonton Food is planning on keeping most of the new messages in circulation, but have admitted that they will be taking a few of the most offensive messages out of their cookies.
[Via New York Times]
A fraking amazing Battlestar Galactica cake
Iced Tea 101
Pierogies + cheese + onions + kraut = Parmageddon!
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
10-09-2007 @ 4:46PM
Dan said...
Here's a good one:
Your waist is not the only thing expanding---get that prostate checked!
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10-09-2007 @ 6:00PM
Teddy said...
LOL!
I love this :)
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10-10-2007 @ 12:32AM
mike said...
ha!
I actually just got the "Perhaps you've been focusing too much on yourself" fortune the other night. I suppose it's kind of a universal truth for most of us, but it still made me think...yeah, I am, aren't I?
Either way...I prefer these to the usual sort.
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10-10-2007 @ 8:36AM
Josh said...
I think it's wrong to expect good fortune EVERY time you open a fortune cookie...it's not called a GOOD fortune cookie...it's just fortune cookie...I think it's refreshing and I can only hope we get to the level that the UCB took it with fortune cookies...extra points if you can tell me which episode...
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10-10-2007 @ 8:55AM
Iscariote said...
The last time I ever ate a fortune cookie, I got the fortune "Be careful when walking alone at night". I wasn't sure if it was advice or a threat.
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10-10-2007 @ 9:39AM
Fash said...
Perhaps you've been focusing too much on yourself...in bed!! Hahaha - I don't care if it makes me sound like I'm 12 - I still add that to the end of every fortune.
Be careful walking alone at night...in bed doesn't make any sense, so it doesn't make the cut.
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10-10-2007 @ 10:20AM
Adriane said...
I don't care about negative fortunes (a little realism is fine by me) But "Be careful when walking alone at night"? That's just a little too creepy.
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10-10-2007 @ 10:20AM
jsmylie said...
Makes me think of the Upright Citizens Brigade's "Fortune Cookies In Bed" sketch (http://danwho.net/mp/index.php?id=ucb_inbed)...
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10-10-2007 @ 12:25PM
oregoncoastgirl said...
I received a fortune, about 15 years ago, while going through a severe crisis of faith no less, that read, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
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10-10-2007 @ 1:24PM
wintem01 said...
Also still do the "in bed" thing. Look at the pictured fortune. "You're problem just got bigger. Think, what have you done...in bed?" HA!
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10-10-2007 @ 2:10PM
Stephanie said...
My husband always wanted to write one that said simply
DUCK!
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10-11-2007 @ 5:39AM
Amanda said...
We had a "culture" day at school when I was in high school and I made my own fortune cookies and put sardonic comments in them. They freaked some people at. Good times.
That being said, I'm participating in a charity bakesale and I think fortune cookies with self made fortunes would be a great idea. No sardonic comments though.:)
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10-11-2007 @ 7:51AM
Dave said...
I'm glad to read this. The other day on our way back from a camping trip in Maine we stopped for lunch and I got a fortune that said "You laugh now. Wait until you get home."
It really made me nervous!
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10-11-2007 @ 12:13PM
leavesofjoy said...
This might explain one I got recently: "It's not perfect, but it's good enough." The fortune of settling, apparently!
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10-11-2007 @ 1:08PM
kevjohn said...
I love this idea! I always do the fortune cookie first when eating Chinese, just in case the fortune says something along the lines of "this food is poisoned!". I think I got that habit from a Twilight Zone episode. heh
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10-11-2007 @ 11:02PM
Marty McFly said...
"That wasn't chicken"
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10-12-2007 @ 2:30PM
lovemygirls85 said...
I once got a fortune cookie with the little piece of paper saying "Help I'm traped in a fortune cookie factory"........Now thats a depressing one!!!
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10-12-2007 @ 2:48PM
howbluehereyes said...
I love going to the restaurant Chopstix with unsuspecting friends. They have "dirty" fortunes and if you ask for "the other cookies" you get all sorts of funny, sexy comments. You don't even have to add "in bed" to the end of it!
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10-12-2007 @ 2:52PM
liz said...
Couples only--this works on ALL fortune cookies. Read the fortune out loud and then say "under the covers" It's a hoot!
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10-12-2007 @ 2:54PM
Phil Lehman said...
Almost 30 years ago, I was eating in a Chinese restaurant just outside Washington DC...which may seem like it doesn't relate to the story except it was around there that I also saw The Gods Must Be Crazy for the first time and no one in the theater laughed...just a perspective backdrop there...ANYWAY...the fortune I got said "Disregard All Previous Fortunes"
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