Special to AOL from Eric Diesel
"Mehepyew?" If you need to have that translated, you're not from the South.
Technically, I'm not either. I grew up in
If you know anything about Osage history, you know that during the
All cities had them, back then: luncheon rooms where ladies brought other ladies for
The food and the ambience so reflected. Dishes were delicate and elegant (for certain occasions, downright fancy): salmon or chicken poached in herbs and perhaps a suspicious dash of wine, quivering aspics (at that time, the barometer of fanciness was the presence of a cold, jellied salad), and salads as delicately dressed as the clientele. A relish tray arrived to inaugurate the meal, each compartment crowed with a jewel-like dab of relish very similar to the one with which the sous-chef's mother won the blue ribbon at the State Fair. For dessert, one chose from downy angel cake attended by a shower of fresh berries, a ladylike fan of madelines skinny-dipping in a swirl of lemon sauce, fresh ice cream if it was the correct season. Special occasions concluded with a showstopping blancmange, decanted from a fancy mold offstage and carved, Thanksgiving turkey-like, tableside.
Circumstances took my grandmother from both downtown
By the time I came along, ladies' luncheon rooms were a thing of the recent past. Another thing I have learned that my grandmother was right about is that experiences wax and wane with circumstance, so it really does make perfect sense that when my grandmother had reason or funds or both or occasionally neither to take us to out for dinner, in her mind the correct venue, the one that evoked her own memories of refinements past, was the local cafeteria.
K&W was downtown, on the literal and socio-economic slope between the Campbell-Bell department store and the Woolworth's, but if my grandmother's aqua Chevy land-yacht kept sailing past the turnoff for downtown
You knew Borden's was fancy because the entrance, rather than being open to the mall proper like the hoi-polloi pizza place and the groundlings' burger hut, was a curved wall, lit by pin spots and covered in beige and gold fabric just like the backdrop in front of which Carol Burnett, wearing a glittery Mackie gown, took questions from the audience. This dramatic entrance set up tremendous anticipation and was my own inauguration to the idea that dining at a restaurant could be an experience as well as a stop for fuel. Once you ascended this glittering portal, the hostess (a hostess!) took you to a table and then, as Lady Bountiful, indicated the steam tables. Remember, this was thirty years ago, and at that time, the casino trough line had not become a common denominator. A cafeteria was not a buffet, at which you serve yourself. Rather, in a cafeteria, you were served, and the clarion call of the be-hairnetted workers on the other side of the sneeze guard was "Mehepyew?"
As by now you've remembered or figured out, "Mehepyew?" translated from the Cafeteriese, is "May I help you?" Like the dialects of the South itself, this word evolved according to the geography and purpose of each station. She Who Presided Over The Veg-All barked "Freshveg?" just like a waitress at Mildred Pierce's, while He Who Carved Turkey And Roast Beef snapped "Wannameat?" and rapped the glass with his tongs if in your excitement you and your plate answered yes too quickly. If you tried to dip into the smoky mahogany depths of the barbeque table, The Priestess of Aromatic Smoke waved her slotted spoon at you and declaimed "I'll serve y'all!" If you wanted to be bothered with salad, you got a heap of damp iceberg lettuce, shivering from its ice bath, mixed with shreds of carrot and halves of exotic cherry tomatoes, doused accordingly after you answered the riddle of "Frencher Eyetalian?"
And so forth through the adventures and vernacular of each station: hot rolls ("Buttern' jam?"), soup if you had room ("Smoothernoodle?"), a Jell-O station where the question wasn't if you wanted any but if it should be "Plainer parfay?" a coffee station where adults got asked "Reelersanka?" and were rewarded with their selection with an efficiency I wish I could find among just one of today's baristas. The journey culminated with ladies at the pie station who cut slices as perfectly and said "Minserapple?" as sweetly and toothlessly as Sipsey at the Whistle Stop Café.
Everybody, throughout the entire place, said "Mehepyew?" as automatically as I say "Dammit!" when I can't find my keys or my cell phone -- two items of adulthood I would give back in a heartbeat to begin with. Make that half a heartbeat, if outside of a séance I could sit at that table, with my grandmother presiding with ladylike poise or a wicked cackle, again. At the time, plainerparfait Jell-O had supplanted the blancmange of her past just as city restaurants and local diners have taken over the cafeterias of mine. But I know that in remembering these moments I honor her. Sentiment is the Mehepyew? of memory -- and yes, as a matter of fact, you can hep all yew want.
Share your cafeterias and luncheon room memories in the comments below.
More reminiscences about lunchmeat and Yoo-hoo are just a click away.
1-27-2008 @9:35PM Marybeth said... My hubby and I go to the Roanoke K&W all the time....at least twice a week. We call it our "club"....LOL We love it!! My favorite is the country style steak and my husband always gets their roast beef....great food! We love it!
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1-28-2008 @8:38PM Elaine said... No, it's not ever "supper" for lunch. In the South, the three meals are:
Breakfast
Dinner
Supper
There is no lunch. The noontime meal is "dinner."
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1-28-2008 @5:41AM Luv Food! said... I'm a 33 year old Southern Californian with Southern parents. I grew up knowing the virtues of cafeterias. When we would drive back to my parents homes we would stop at as many as possible. Luby's , Picadilly's, I couldn't name them all. My favorite foods were fried okra, mac and cheese, mexican cornbread, and chocolate cream pie!
But at home in California it was Furr's and Clifftons. At least it was until the buffet restaurant chains wiped most of that out! Hometown Buffet is ok, but I dont' like any of their side dishes ( they CAN'T do mac and cheese right!) And the desserts taste good but they look mass produced instead of having a homemade look.
Now there is only the original Cliftons in downtown LA, and I haven't even been there yet. And no Furr's.
I must confess that every now and then I buy Stouffers mac and cheese, and frozen fried chicken and fried okra and a Sara Lee chocolate cream pie, and pretend I am at a cafeteria.
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2-07-2008 @5:13PM Jackie Hovland said... I grew up in the Pacific Northwest where Mannings was the chain of cafeterias through the 1960s. I preferred to see what I would be eating and eyeball various combinations of meats, vegetables and salads. I ate at university dorms and workplace hospital cafeterias for years. Santa Barbara's Copper Coffee Pot on State Street provided my lunches through the mid 1980s. There was enough variety I could always choose healthy (and cheap) meals.
Now international cuisine, both inexpensive and high end, is ubiquitous. I can't find food reminiscent of what my mother prepared anyplace but in large workplaces and schools. Thai food is fine for many, but my stomach calls for American cooking. Instead of eating my lunch at a homey cafeteria, I grab a pre-packaged sandwich at a Starbuck's. What a come down!
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4-09-2009 @11:11PM goob said... When I was 14 I worked at Schensul's Cafeteria in the mall. Made 1.32 an hr. My job was to bus the tables and to respond to the "bell" when someone needed help carrying their tray to the table, and to "go around" with coffee refilling cups. They had great fried chicken and about 50 kinds of jello salads. Also had prayer cards on the tables and little lights that people would illuminate if they needed something. Place was always packed on Sunday after church. Thanks for the memories!
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10-03-2007 @2:06PM Mary said... Beautiful...................been there......done that!
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10-04-2007 @8:59PM Barbara said... Yes, those were good days, I use to work in a cafateria Cliftons was the name. Was nice place to work and Eat!!! food was great, and the people were great!!!! was MUCH CLEANER AND BETTER then the Buffet Style today.And getting to know all the people who came in to have Lunch or Dinner was nice, had a plesent greeting from them as well as myself giving them a plesent greeting. And bye the way I was born in Arkansas and we moved from there when I was two years old but still can remember how they talk because I still talk that way. LOL
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10-04-2007 @7:22PM Helen W said... Loved your column, it was always such a treat to eat at the K & W the rare times I would get to go shopping in Roanoke with my mom "back then."
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10-04-2007 @6:56PM Helen W said... Loved your column......it was such a treat to eat at the Loved your column, remember my first time at the K & W in Roanoke when I was a kid, what a treat!!
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10-04-2007 @9:38PM Ann W said... I will always be a fan of your work! Oh I miss the cafeteria. I always got nervous but tried to prepare my answers to all those "mehepyews." I swear I never cleared the tray and utensil station before the bombardment. My usual, cherry jell-o "plainer", chopped steak, mashed potatoes, and fried okra (when available). Lordy, I am hungry!
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10-07-2007 @4:22AM Tim McCoy said... I worked at a Borden's Cafeteria on East Admiral in 1964/65 ... worked the line, in the kitchen, pearl diver and busboy. The specialty was pan fried chicken - 3 pieces for $.89 then, mashed potatos and gravy was extra and once week we served prime rib. Made 85 cents an hour and loved it. They had great food and treated all the high school kids that worked there like we were kings ... and yes, working the foodline was frequently punctuated by a friendly Meyhepyou ... often followed by Youwannalrgeorsmall .... just a little Southern cafeteria speak ... cute article and a fun read. Brought back many memories.
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10-18-2007 @3:44PM Susan S said... K&W is alive and well in Winston-Salem, NC and the mehepyew's flow all day long! I first went to K&W as a young child in downtown Winston-Salem near the bus station. As the years passed I continued to go to them and as a teenager I laughed at the "quaint country southerness" of the cafeterias. Now as a senior citizen I fondly look back at all the good meals and the good family times I experienced at K&W. Everything changes, but K&W keeps it's sweet, simple personality and I hope it always will. I still enjoy the great meals they prepare and I can't wait to get in line and hear mehepyew?
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10-18-2007 @4:56PM tonya adams said... they got some good chicken!!
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10-27-2007 @7:46PM lyndi said... Go to K&W all the time! We have to get onto the kids because they call it "Kanes and Walkers"(K & W) since the largest crowd is "older."
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10-29-2007 @1:08PM Barbara Johnson said... I remember Gold's Cafeteria in Lincoln, Nebraska.. Aunt Hazel and I would take the bus downtown... and wouldn't think of leaving the house without the white gloves and hat. I don't remember much about the entrees... but.. the "Circus Sundae"... a big scoop of ice cream drizzled with chocolate sauce, some animal crackers around the circumference and one of those cute little paper umbrellas... was the final finishing touch to a delicious "ladies lunch." We went back every week, although sometimes we would go to Miller and Paine for the cinnamon rolls! Millers was a "tea room"... not a cafeteria...big difference!
I also remember that all of the ladies that worked in Gold's cafeteria always had a pretty "handkerchief coursage"... Still don't know how they folded and pinned those fancy hankies.... but.. they were beautiful! And.. then there was that Norman Rockwell painting of a boy on a tractor in the cornfield... wonder what ever happened to it?????
Does anyone know?
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10-30-2007 @1:42PM Renee said... I didn't get to go to the southern cafeterias, but in Michigan as a kid, every Wednesday you got to go to "Schensuls" Cafeteria at the mall in Grand Rapids,,, That was always a big treat and the food was great,,, We travel a lot and different restaurants are just fun,,, but I definitely will look into K&W next time in that area!
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12-18-2007 @2:38PM ELIZABETH said... IS LUBY"S CONSIDERED A CAFETERIA NOV. 2006 WAS THERE A PA RESIDENT I WAS WITH 2 TEXANS AND THERE WAS NO WAY TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE WORK STAFF THERE AND THERE WERE HEALTH ISSUES INVOLVED. I AM ENJOYING READING THE PLEASANT REMINISCES OF THE OTHER WRITERS AND THEIR COMMENTS MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN THE SOUTH
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12-18-2007 @3:49PM Diane said... Living in Peoria, IL in the 70's, a big treat was Bishop's Cafeteria with their colonial furniture and fireplaces and the little electric candles you lit if you wanted something. The waitress would come over to your table and bring you condiments or a second cup of coffee. Ah, luxury! I could eat one of their hot roast beef sandwiches right now...
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12-18-2007 @5:25PM valerie said... omg.. I haven't gone to cafeterias (not being from the south but born and bred near NYC.. but Horn & Hardart!!!!!! you put your coins in the slot and pick what you want from towering glass cases and the next serving of what ever you picked would slide down to serve the next person.. Not the same, I know.. but I have such great "kid" memories of it!!!
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12-18-2007 @7:52PM Lassie said... I remember the Automat, too! A shame it's gone. When I was young and downtown was a happenin' place, the big department stores had lovely tea rooms. I distinctly remember two of them, downtown, where they actually did bring you a china cup for tea and hot water in a little tin pot, slice of lemon and teabag on the side. I remember once I ordered broiled fish and vegetables for lunch, but the fish was hard and dry like shoe leather and fishy to boot - I got grilled by the waitress as to why I didn't finish my meal! All that is gone now, I guess. Grab pizza, or fast food, or a grilled hot dog from the vendor on your 15 minute lunch hour.....
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