Before anyone ever heard of Harold, much less Kumar, before the invention of the Crave campaign, before the word Slyder was trademarked I was a teenage White Castle worker. On this last day of National Hamburger Month I'd like to share my memories of working at America's oldest hamburger chain, as well as my thoughts on its present state of affairs.I started working at White Castle during my senior year in high school. I'd eaten their burgers with my folks as a kid and had enjoyed their "restorative" effects after drinking with my buddies. We used to call the tasty little suckers "White Crapples." When one opened in my neighborhood, I figured what the hell, and applied for a job. After management determined I had a pulse and some level of manual dexterity, however minimal, I was hired.
Back then the uniform was slightly different than it is today. I remember wearing a brown shirt and a baseball cap. All burger cooking was done in clear view. To the left of the register, customers watched their square patties being steam-grilled. I still remember the time a Little League team ordered 100 burgers. Instead of letting the line back up, we opened another station and got to work.
Once after blowing a joint with my co-worker Max, the burgers on my flat top started burning. As I stared into space, he sounded the alarm by screaming, "Bang your head" at me. He averted disaster by ladling onion water onto my griddle. Back then there was no shortage of onion water, since we used dehydrated onions. Small dust clouds would form as we poured dried diced onion into stainless buckets before adding water.
But it wasn't all burnt grills and onion dust. One of the perks was eating sliders during our breaks. To mix things up, I'd invent off-menu items: double cheeseburgers with the middle bun removed, double fish, fish and chicken, triples and so on. After years of topping my burgers with onion rings such improvisation was the next logical step.
These days I eat White Castle maybe three or four times a year usually in the middle of the night after more than a few too many beers. I do sometimes crave them when I'm in a more lucid state of mind. My go-to ticket is two burgers, a double cheeseburger and an order of onion rings.
The other day I paid my first visit to the Castle in a long time. For some reason Church's Chicken flags fluttered above the turrets. I'm sure it's not bad, but I could'nt bring myself to order fried chicken in White Castle. Instead I got two burgers, a cheeseburger, a bacon double cheeseburger, a jalapeño double cheeseburger, a surf and turf with cheese and the obligatory order of onion rings.
In case you're wondering this gut-wrenching order was made at 2 p.m., not after a night of partying. The classic White Castles hit the spot. Next up was the tasty bacon double cheeseburger topped with a thin circular slice of bacon that looked liked it came out of a fast-food salumeria. By now I was starting to max out and took only a small bite of the not unpleasant jalapeño double cheeseburger. I was saving myself for what I consider to be the Castle's strangest offering, the surf and turf with cheese (pictured). Sadly the ingredients were not short ribs, soft shell crab and manchego. The combination of fried fish, beef and cheese is one that I won't be trying again for some time.
Cakes so amazing they'd be hard to cut into
Fruit juice: An invitation to diabetes?
Morbid thoughts? Have a cookie
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-31-2007 @ 12:19PM
Kassie said...
I love, love, LOVE White Castle. People always talk bad about them, but if you show up somewhere with a sack, they will be eaten.
The onion rings and hamburgers age great, but I also like the weirder things, like the chicken rings. Rings of chicken, how delightful!!!
Just never drink the red drink. It is nasty.
Reply
5-31-2007 @ 1:55PM
Kent Mackey said...
He said, "Blowing a joint."
I've NEVER been to WC before midnight, and I always enjoy it. Until the next morning, that is. This is where the term "buyers remorse" comes from.
Reply
5-31-2007 @ 2:23PM
wintem01 said...
Two jalpeno cheeseburgers, a double cheeseburger and onion chips, please. I don't necessarily love the onion chips, but find myself almost automatically ordering them. Like a curse. Although, as mentioned, the next morning is when the real curse sets in. Tough to order during the day as the taste will stay with you like leprosy. Or until you start drinking again.
Reply
5-31-2007 @ 3:12PM
Harold Hupmobile said...
One evening my freshmen year of college my friends and I were watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I guess a fast food that warranted a movie being wrapped around it deserved our attention because the ever trusty internet informed us seconds after it ended that nearest location was in Cleveland. That Saturday we departed from Brockport, NY on what would become the longest burger run of our lives. The we ended up lost in downtown Cleveland, but there was nothing that would stand between us and our slyders. After eventually finding the place, we took some photo's of the exterior and headed inside. There were three of us in all, and the man at the register figured a Crave Case (30 slyders) would do us right. My friends an I exchanged glances, and shook our head. I cooly said, "No... We want three." The cashier's response is my favorite part of this tale. His jaw dropped and he said, "Y'all for serious?" We nodded our ascent and the folks behind the counter whipped themselves into a frenzy. 90 burgers must be slightly odd order for the early afternoon. Anyhow, we had our food shortly and promptly consumed about half of each case. The rest of them returned with us to Brockport, where we were greeted as conquering heroes, raining delectable miniature sandwiches upon all of our cohorts. My friends and I signed the receipted and I framed it. We hang it in our dorm along with the Cleveland metro map I bought when we were lost with the White Castle's location marked should we ever decide to return.
Google Map of the trip: http://maps.google.com/maps?um=1&tab=wl&client=firefox-a&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=brockport%2C%20ny%20to%20cleveland%20oh
Reply
5-31-2007 @ 6:20PM
Nat said...
I loved it when they ran the Mini-Corn Dogs. Best rendition by any fast food joint. I liked how they also gave you a very cool tin of mints with onion ring orders. So thoughtful. And forget about the coffee. Goooood! Keep up the weirdness.
Reply
5-31-2007 @ 7:49PM
Dan Tannenbaum said...
After a night of drinking beers at Dr. FeelFunny's, a trip to White castle was always in order. In Bay Rdige we used to call them "Belly Bombs" after the way they hit your stomach! Ah, the gentle daze of youth!
Reply
6-01-2007 @ 3:06AM
Paula Zargaj-Reynolds said...
But White Castle burgers are STEAMED. How can people love a burger without grill marks THAT much?
Reply
6-01-2007 @ 3:19PM
h0mi said...
Amusing. I just rented this movie a few days ago and watched it. It has inspired me to plan a trek out east (living in San Diego) to hit a Krystals & a White Castle. (Living in the Bronx, I'd hit the white castle on Fordham road a few times a month).
Reply
6-17-2007 @ 9:03PM
AW said...
I to have a strange liking for White Castle and let me tell you, Krystal is no White Castle. Krystal is just icky.
Reply
6-18-2007 @ 4:40PM
JMForester said...
I have to admit to having an occasional White Castle during my teens and early twenties. Usually, like others mention, at around 2am after a few too many brews. I would head down to Fordham road in the Bronx, or occasionally Bruckner Blvd. or South Broadway in Yonkers. It all depended upon where I had been out tossing back a few pints of Guinness. I haven't eaten much other fast food the past few years, but 1-2 times a year the craving still comes over me, and I am always ashamed afterwards, but it's an addiction and I am trying to get help in dealing with the disease. I like to order 2-3 each of the cheeseburger, bacon cheeseburger, and jalapeno cheeseburger, plus an order of onion rings. I switch off an rotate which one I eat next. Usually they go down in three bites. Just a few weeks ago I went for the first time this year. I tried ordering a bacon jalapeno cheeseburger and it was mighty tasty, and this was a a rare mid-afternoon trip to the castle. Right now reading and commenting on this has triggered a crave... but I am out of luck. I moved to mid-coast Maine and the nearest White Castle is in New York because there are NO locations at all in New England. Fortunately I am in NYC for business every few weeks, but I will have to let the craving simmer until then.
Reply
7-24-2007 @ 4:06AM
phil lacchio said...
I live in Florida now and I miss my White Castles, They were awesome you had to eat them right after you ordered them, no taking them home and it was only right to throw the trash right on the ground, if you tossed it into the garbage cans it just didn't seem right
Reply
7-26-2007 @ 8:24PM
nechyfer said...
WOW!!! I think everyone I new in H.S.worked at White Castles, at one time or another.They are the best 3'A.M. picker upper after, well you know ;))))))))
My husband remembers, when he was little (before Queens Center Mall) the waitresses, at the White Castle,used to come to your car on roller skates to take your order! It was a drive in! Then they would clip the tray to your car door. Unfortunately that what was before I moved near there and my time.
WE used to also call them "Belly BOMBERS" and I used to love the Vanilla Milk Shake, $.50 0r $1.00 back in the late mid 70's It was so thick it wouldn't go through the straw, you really had to suck so hard it hurt but it was the thickest and the best!!MMMMMMM ;))))))
WE still have the cheeseburgers, onion rings, bacon cheese burgers etc. at least twice or three timesa
a year. Good Times
Reply