In a special surprise election held yesterday, TV food icon Rachael Ray was named President of the United States.
Her challenger, Martha Stewart from the state of New York, put up quite a fight, but in the end, Ray squeaked out a win in electoral votes. Many people cite Ray's ability to seemingly be in every single state in the country at the same time, giving speeches and cooking demonsrations for crowds of supporters. Others cite Stewart's time in prison as working against her.
This is really the most logical next step for Ray, who has 27 shows on Food Network, her own monthly magazine, a daily syndicated TV show, her face on various products in the supermarket, DVDs, a Christmas CD, cookware, a new endorsement deal with Dunkin' Donuts, and her own planet named after her. Ray has said that the first thing she plans to do as President is to add the word "awesome" to the Pledge of Allegience.
After the jump, the complete statement from President-Elect Ray.
APRIL FOOL'S!









Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-01-2007 @ 6:12PM
jen said...
I was hoping for a more liberal (butter user), like Paula Deen. :(
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4-01-2007 @ 7:39PM
Toby said...
...of annoyingville.
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4-01-2007 @ 9:05PM
Dr Electro said...
She'd be better than Dubya!!! I think I could follow her leadership with a bit more confidence. Besides, she's not a political insider.
It's a shame it's only an April fool joke and not the real deal.
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4-01-2007 @ 10:51PM
susiepie said...
I really love my country, but that would make me leave for good. And I'm not lying about that like Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, et al apparently were back in 2004. I'll never pledge allegiance to EVOO.
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4-02-2007 @ 2:14PM
Hate Rachael said...
I'd vote Rachael Ray the most annoying personality to ever hit television! Yummo!?? Gag me.
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4-02-2007 @ 10:56PM
lee said...
Too many of you are just too jealous of Rachel Ray...
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4-05-2007 @ 11:25AM
Shad Genki said...
It would be the first president that I ever wanted to sleep with.
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4-07-2007 @ 8:31PM
SEXXY SANDY said...
Racheal RAy is a cool girl ash can drink anything and still stand up go racheal ray.
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4-17-2007 @ 12:52AM
Jen said...
How... joyous.
Instead of the world hating us they can just be annoyed by us now.
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