Starbucks baristas are not your friends

by Bob Sassone, Posted Mar 28th 2007 @ 2:30PM

That's the claim by an anonymous Starbucks barista in a rant posted over at Jim Romenesko's Starbuck's Gossip Blog. It was originally posted on the Chicago Craigslist, but was removed.

While the barista really isn't saying anything new here, it's actually a good one-stop summary for everyone who doesn't like the coffee shop chain, and a funny, revealing rant for people who do like the chain. A few tidbits from the article after the jump!

1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly -- because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don't give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you're doing because it's a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they're few and far between. If you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them.

Now, this could probably be said about any retail/customer service job, though I do like the lines "we are usually not your neighbors" and "if you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them," referring to customers the baristas actually like.

6. We are trained to call out drink orders in a particular way. This helps to ensure that we get all of your stupid, nitpicky details correct. DO NOT
• Correct me (see above)
• Tell me as snottily as possible that you "don't speak Starbucks." That is quite possibly one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard.
• Keep asking me, "Is it decaf? Did you get that? I ordered decaf. Are you sure it's decaf?" F+CK YOU. Yes, I got it.
• Tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn't make one if someone had a gun to your head.

As someone who worked in restaurants for a decade or more, I laughed out loud at this part.

15. Have a nice f+cking day, you bastards!

I think Starbucks should sell T-shirts with that slogan.

Filed Under: Trends, On the Blogs, Stores & Shopping, Drink Recipes, Coffee Shops
Tags: baristas, coffee, craigslist, espresso, grande, iced coffee, IcedCoffee, latte, mocha, romenesko, starbucks, stores-and-shopping, tall, tea, venti

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Reader comments (Page 2 of 2)

6-16-2007 @4:55AM CaliBarista said... I read comment number 6, by "K" and the part about K's father and the starbucks baristas is why I am a barista. Customer service is my number one. I am not the best on bar, i.e. making drinks (although not bad). I am not the best at register, although again definitely not bad. But the reason i got a job at starbucks is because of the number of times I have come in and been treated really well. I wanted to give that to others.

Yes, we have a complicated amalgamation of drinks and pastries, however, we are always trying to help. Everything the baristas said about the steamed milk and tea being similar to a vanilla creme with tea, or a misto, or whatever, is all correct. What can we do? We are trying to help.

There are some customers that make me want to rant like this barista did, with fancy drinks and total disrespect. I am a jazz pianist, working my way through college, I was IQ tested in 4th grade when I got the highest score ever on Advanced Studies testing, and I clocked in with an IQ of 157. I am no egotist, no bragger, but I would like to be treated with some respect, even if I am serving you your coffee. Even a dumbass who is trying hard to make you your drink quickly and correctly deserves just as much respect.

Although I feel for this ranting barista, when we get customers who are nice and friendly, especially our regulars, it makes it all worthwhile. We have a regular named Michael who gets a 14 pump chai almost everyday. He is SO nice, and always friendly. He came in on my first day, and we met and he was encouraging, and wanted me to make his drink. Normally when you are being trained, people get all mad if the trainee is making their drink, like it is going to be sub-par. But not Michael. He says "I'll get a Venti 14 pump chai. Make it however. If you only have Nonfat and need to steam more whole, make it nonfat. Just make it easy on yourself, I'll drink whatever." I am a barista from Northern California, and I will be working at Starbucks for a long time, because of customers like Michael.
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