Famous Death Row Last Meals
Food Fights: The Biggest Culinary Scandals Of 2011
That's the claim by an anonymous Starbucks barista in a rant posted over at Jim Romenesko's Starbuck's Gossip Blog. It was originally posted on the Chicago Craigslist, but was removed.
While the barista really isn't saying anything new here, it's actually a good one-stop summary for everyone who doesn't like the coffee shop chain, and a funny, revealing rant for people who do like the chain. A few tidbits from the article after the jump!
1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly -- because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don't give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you're doing because it's a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they're few and far between. If you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them.
Now, this could probably be said about any retail/customer service job, though I do like the lines "we are usually not your neighbors" and "if you have to think about it, you're probably not one of them," referring to customers the baristas actually like.
6. We are trained to call out drink orders in a particular way. This helps to ensure that we get all of your stupid, nitpicky details correct. DO NOT
• Correct me (see above)
• Tell me as snottily as possible that you "don't speak Starbucks." That is quite possibly one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard.
• Keep asking me, "Is it decaf? Did you get that? I ordered decaf. Are you sure it's decaf?" F+CK YOU. Yes, I got it.
• Tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn't make one if someone had a gun to your head.
As someone who worked in restaurants for a decade or more, I laughed out loud at this part.
15. Have a nice f+cking day, you bastards!
I think Starbucks should sell T-shirts with that slogan.
Jennifer Aniston's Effortlessly Sexy Style
Whitney Houston Dead: Singer Dies at 48, Body Found in Beverly Hilton Hotel
Sheryl Crow Loves To Flaunt Toned Physique
Can You Guess This Famous Face?
The Money Man Behind Rick Santorum: Who Is Foster S. Friess?
Comforter Soaked In Blood Found In Josh Powell's Storage Unit
Savings Experiment: Snow Removal
Whitney Houston Dead: Stars React to Legend's Sudden Death
Woolly Mammoth Allegedly Caught On Video In Siberia
Tips for flying cheaper in 2012
It's Pink!
LINSANITY CONTINUES
James Sturm Boycotts 'The Avengers' Film over Marvel's Treatment of Jack Kirby
Alleged Squatters Found With Drugs, Handgun, Grenades, Pig
Nic Cage Addresses Vampire Rumors On 'Late Show'
There's only one thing to do when the Nürburgring is covered in snow...
The Happiest People In The World...
White House Bending On Birth Control Rule
Front Row Celebrities At New York Fashion Week
Street Style Stars At New York Fashion Week
PHOTOS: Saturn Does Cosmic Dance With Its Moons
Hulk Hogan: 'I'd Celebrate It' If I Was Gay
TV's Best Music Moments
Dougherty Sibling Pleads Guilty, Gets Deal
Couple Dies 88 Minutes Apart After 65 Years Of Marriage
Utah Man Chooses Execution By Firing Squad
Which Colleges Have The Best Quality Of Life?
New Rankings Finds D.C. Is A Great Place For Single Men
PHOTOS: Remembering Whitney Houston's Glittering Style
PHOTOS: Who WIll Be This Year's Cover Girl?
PHOTOS: I Was Made Over By Olympic Gymnast Alicia Sacramone
15 Obnoxious Notes From Roommates
3-28-2007 @3:33PM Lisa Heermann said... At least this barista didn't (quite) spew a rant as toxic as the one that (?)Joanna from McDonalds did last summer.
Reply
3-28-2007 @3:33PM Jonathan Harford said... I like my coffee like I like my baristas: COLD, BITTER, AND NOT PARTICULARLY ENTERTAINING
Reply
3-28-2007 @5:32PM jmchez said... Well, there used to be a barista at my corner Starbucks that was friendly to me for real as opposed to faking it. I would even lend him books from my personal library; he was Peruvian and one day we started discussing the great Peruvian writer Mario Vargas-Llosa.
One day my nephew agreed to meet me at that Starbucks and I was late. The barista saw me come in and noticed that my nephew had been nursing his latte for a long time. He asked me whether we wanted a fresh cup because my nephew's had to be cold by then.
Too bad Miguel moved away. I've had good service since but never at that level.
Reply
3-28-2007 @4:29PM calamari said... I was going to post my usual about service people who think they're too good to give actual service... and then I read the customer behaviors the poster is complaining about and agreed that a lot of people do really overstep the bounds of "the customer is always right."
All I ever do in Starbucks is order a drink straight off the menu, and I only dig for exact change if there's no one behind me in line.
Reply
3-28-2007 @4:55PM Brent Schmidt said... Working at Disneyland, we get ones like this all the time:
4. Enough with repeating the George Carlin Starbucks order joke! It was funny the first time we heard it. Maybe. You are probably the four hundredth person to say it to me, expecting me to laugh, and I guarantee that you’re going to be disappointed.
Except it's all Indy related "jokes" that I/we hear, over, and over again.
Reply
3-28-2007 @5:01PM Lee Roy Brandon III said... Another reason why I avoid Starschmucks like the plague... there are too many good independent coffe houses with baristas I like. I mangaged one myself for 8 months almost 10 years ago when I was just out of school, and I still get people on the street who remember me as "the coffee guy"...
Reply
3-28-2007 @5:06PM K said... I tried to post this on that blog, and it wasn't permitted.
I have a love-hate relationship with Starbucks, and I'll spare you the long-winded details of how that came to be, and just present you with a few samples of customer that I receive, as one of your customers:
1) Hate. I like to make what I call a tea latte. Just a tall cup of steamed foamed milk with a tea bag soaked in it. No water, nothing else. So, I'd ask for a steamed milk and a tea bag on the side. After ordering this enough times and having the baristas stumble over what I wanted (some would automatically add the tea bag to the milk, and others just handed the bag to me), I explained to one inquisitive barista "Well, basically I'm making a latte with tea instead of coffee." The barista said "Ohhh, we call that a Tea Misto. Order that, next time. We even have a button for it (on the register)." GREAT! So, the next time I went to SBs, I ordered an Earl Grey Tea Misto. It was terribly weak and not very milky. Hmmm. Odd. The next visit, I again ordered a Tea Misto, but this time I saw him make it. He filled the Venti cup half with water, soaked a tea bag in it, and they topped it off with milk and foam. This is NOT what I'd been ordering when when the barista instructed me to ask for a Tea Misto. Yes, that's how they make a Tea Misto, but I never used water, when the barista made the recommendation to me. Dammit. So, the next time I ordered "Tea Misto, no water." "I'm sorry, wha--?" she asked. "Just the steamed milk with a tea bag in it" I had to explain. "Oh, that's a Steamer with tea." FINE, WHATEVER!!! So next time, I ordered an "Steamer with Earl Grey Tea, shot of SF Vanilla, pleae." "That's a Vanilla Creme" I'm told, "With tea." EFF THIS SH*T. Why is this so complicated? I'm TRYING to follow your instructions. You know what I do now? I order a Steamed Milk. That's it. And I take an Earl Grey tea bag out of my damn purse, tear it open, and dunk it myself. You SB b@st@rds.
2. Love. My parents live in Hawaii and frequented a Starbucks. My father was in declining health and toward the end of his life, was confined to a wheelchair, which my mother found difficult to take in and out of the car. She occasionally managed, however, and several times, took my dad on errands and stopped into Starbucks with him for his favorite Pecan Diamond and coffee. If the place wasn't busy, invariably two male baristas would jog out and help my mother get my dad's chair out, and help my Dad into it, and into the store. They also saved the Pecan Diamond for him, several times, if it was the last one. They did so on the final day of his life. They ran out, helped carry him out of the car and into his chair, pushed him into the store, served his coffee and pastry, and waved goodbye. My dad died that evening. To you two baristas in Kailua-Kona, I love you for taking such wonderful care of your customer, my Dad, in his declining days.
Reply
3-28-2007 @5:38PM John said... Oops! Forgot to make it clear that the fresh cup was a freebie.
Reply
3-29-2007 @1:30AM Kostika said... Unfortunately most baristas in SBs don't know what a mocha is either. This is how the masses got mis-informed int he first place.
Reply
3-28-2007 @9:36PM Mike Wallace said... @K - that's a wonderful story - thanks for sharing :)
Reply
3-28-2007 @11:56PM Kristin said... Yeah - so funny - if they'd EVER get my drink right, I wouldn't keep asking. Self-indulgent, entitled rant from a Starbucks barista - there HAS to be some comedic irony in there somewhere.
Reply
3-29-2007 @9:15AM Moosa said... Uh.... yeah. I'm not gonna lie, it gets pretty tough to get someone's drink right when this is how they order it, usually at a drive thru:
Yeah, I'd like a number one! haha! just kiddin man ( that's always a hoot, trust me. ) I just want a mocha.
what size can we get for you today?
small
alright, so we have a tall mocha, anyth--
no! I said a small!
tall is our small sir.
Well, that's stupid. I just want a small coffee.
And I want three and a half splendas in it.
Alright sir, so we have a tall three and a half splenda mocha. Anything else for you today?
Well, I want it skinny too.
Nonfat sir? Absolutely.
And... hold up! I'm not done yet. two extra shots of espresso. But the first one is decaf. I just want two with caffine.
....Alright, so we have a triple tall nonfat three and a half splenda mocha with two of the three shots caffinated. Are we getting whip cream on this today sir?
...Uh... What was that you just said? Did you get that it's nonfat?
Yes sir.
Oh. Just makin sure. Whip? sure. not a lot though, just a little. But enough. Oh, and my wife Flossy wants to order for herself ( from the passenger side while she's facing her own window as to prevent me from hearing a single word she says. ).
Yeah, Three and a half splenda? What's wrong with you people. I've been making drinks for long enough to be able to tell you that you won't notice the half of the splenda and it's just annoying. None of that's an excuse to not get your drinks right, but seriously, try to understand that typically you'll find someone who's actually trying to make your drink to the best of their ability, but with drinks being called all around them and 15 drinks that need to be made at one time, your stupid, round a bout way of ordering isn't helping anyone.
And when your drink isn't exactly what you wanted, is there really a need to get an attitude about it? We'll make the drink for you again either way, it's not like you have to bully us into it. I guess the majority of customers now think that they're too good to interact with us as actual people.
And tea misto girl, tell them you want a tea misto with no water, just milk. Very few people get the tea misto, so it's not something the barista's are used to making, let alone tweaking. So stop bitching about it and just deal with it.
Oh, and when you're in our drive thru, and you're in line for over a minute due to it being in the morning when we do most of our business, why is it you never have your money ready? It's usually a card! Just pull the thing out while you're sitting there doing nothing! And stop looking for exact change! If you don't want your change, why do I? And why should the customer behind you get held up because you think you're the only one that matters?
Reply
3-29-2007 @9:38PM Jessica said... I am a current barista for starbucks and I disagree. We love our customers and yes there are some that are annoying or abnormal but we still like most of our customers. Who ever wrote that maybe isnt in the right job! Maybe you just see everyone in that light working at starbucks or not. Consider another job!
Reply
3-31-2007 @3:18AM mark said... In 2000 in colleyville, tx I actually had a starbucks manager try to press "terroristic threats" charges on me for complaining about a drink
Reply
3-30-2007 @1:16PM superlemurs said... I know it's not really funny, but what if both baristas and customers just try to be nice? I'm a former barista and though it can be a tough job, somehow I'm not an angsty hipster. It has never been my experience that most baristas hate their customers unless they just think they're too cool to be serving coffee.
And there's a good reason that some customers are paranoid about getting decafs. It's not a flavor preference - it's often a medical preference. So...yeah, it's important.
Everybody take a deep breath! :)
Reply
3-30-2007 @5:07PM Gino said... @Moosa
She said she tried ordering a Tea Misto with no water and they gave her a "WTF?!" look and just gave her yet another name for her drink, read a little closer.
Personally, I've never really had an issue with my drink orders there (Quad Venti Mocha), but I did have one with a new girl once.
I was at a Meijer (local Supersized chain) that had a Starbucks in it. Well, the girl at the counter was new, and nobody seemed to be around to help her out at all, but she wasn't busy. I asked for the Quad Venti Mocha and she stared at me like I spoke French. I repeated the order again. She goes "Quad Venti Mocha? Do we make that?" I then explained to her what the drink was, and she goes "Ooohh... Are you sure you want that? That's a lot of espresso, the drink is gonna taste yucky."
I just stared at her for a second before finally somebody comes out of the back and asks what I want. Again, I repeat the order, and he knew exactly what I wanted and got to work on it. I just still couldn't believe that she questioned my choice.
Reply
4-01-2007 @12:29AM Diana said... I don't remember who made the comment about the Tea Misto, but I can see how the barista wouldn't know. I have been drinking "tea mistos" for year. I have also been a barista for years.
Personally, I can see where the guy is coming from, some days are just like that.
But you know, I like my job. I love my customers. I have many many regulars who will only get their drinks if I am on the bar. Even those who aren't my regulars I generally like. I just like giving people good cups of coffee.
Reply
4-05-2007 @5:15AM Karen said... I have been to SB in more than one state, and in both places merely asked for extra foam on my cappucino. Not a difficult request, right? Wrong. First they ask me if I want it dry (all the milk in foam form) and I say no, just please put extra foam on top. At one place the cashier told the barista 3 times what I wanted. The barista then made some smart-alicky comments about it. Was she that stupid not to realize that I, Jane Customer, was standing right on the other side of the coffee machine and could hear everything??? Finally I just told her to make my cappucino regular, as I saw this was becoming a huge issue. Then she proceeded to tell me that all I had to do was tell her what I wanted and she would make it that way. Frankly I'm surprised I didn't ask for my money back. I guess I needed the caffeine buzz.
But I have to say, it only takes one truly bad experience to sway someone. (And I work in foodservice, most times I do understand)
Reply
4-12-2007 @3:42PM ReVeLaTeD said... Here's what I've noticed.
Males that work at Starbucks are cool. They're friendly, they'll go out of their way to help you, just all around nice people, period. I've been given discounted drinks, free drinks, double drinks (at no extra cost), and numerous coupons. No, I'm not gay and no they aren't, either.
Females, however...there are a few ones who are nice and they are cordial without trying to flirt. However, there are a LOT who basically flirt with customers for the sole purpose of getting them to buy or upsize something. I've had that happen twice at the same Starbucks branch. Neither girl gave a damn about any of the males that came in there, they just wanted to flirt for purchases. TO me that makes them hookers, sorry but that's the way it is.
That's my only problem with SB. Females who think they have to sell themselves in order to sell drinks. If you're going to be nice, do so in a respectful, NON-flirtatious way.
Reply
5-13-2007 @11:18PM steve said... I have been both a barista and customer of starbucks for many years.
There are many of days where I feel the same on both sides of the counter.
It's called a job, I am sure this guy isn't making Starbucks his career, it does weigh you down.
Coffee is complicated... and Starbucks, considering how large a company is pretty consistant.
The tea misto thing is silly.
Before we made it an offical menu beverage it had been and is known as a cambric.
That issue reflects on the management team.
(i bet you aren't the only unsatisfied customer that frequents that store)
So i recommend you try another Starbucks.
to the guy that made the hooker comment:
It's called a script. Of course you would see it as flirting to up-sale especially if it's coming from a woman. those cool guys are doing the same exact thing they just aren't pretty enough for you to be upset by thier lack of giving a damn.
They don't care about you either it's called customer service.
Reply