Thanksgiving is my favorite family holiday! I cook a lot for this day and enjoy doing it. :)

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In a two-job couple, where both of you work more than 40 hours a week, is it difficult to turn around and cook an elaborate, multi-course meal for a weekday celebration, along with making sure the house is spotless and decorated?

Uh, yeah, come to think of it.

Thanksgiving is traditionally a day on which I *do* cook, but only because it's fun. If it ever stops bein fun, I intend to stop cooking.

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I agree with Calamari. And on top of that,
having people either (a)Look down
on the homemade meal you prepared or how clean your house is or (b)Look down on you for
not stressing yourself over 1 meal a year.
[not referring to Nicole in either of those comments, just to relatives and friends in general]. And heaven help you if you have a new baby, a two year old, and just want to a simple celebration where family
is the biggest priority. Get in that kitchen and stress yourself out, missy. Don't want to disappoint your MIL, who cooked The Perfect Thanksgiving Dinner 1 day after giving birth to triplets in 1952 : P

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Allison, it'd be interesting to hear if your MIL's guests thought that dinner was perfect at the time. And let us also not forget that many things considered perfectly acceptable back in 1952 (soggy veggies, dry turkey breast meat, cracked pumpkin pie with a crust loaded with trans fats) would now be considered major culinary sins.

The best cook in the family should either do the cooking for major holidays or shut up about everyone else's efforts -- dumping the responsibility on you and then talking about how she could do it better is just nasty.

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I learned to cook when there was no one else to make a Thanksgiving dinner back in the early 70s. Talk about tense! But a kind neighbor (who was working on her own family's dinner talked me through it. Now doing it (from scratch — even the yeast rolls) is a joy I look forward to every year.

Still, I take calamari's point. If I didn't have the time and money I needed to make it the special meal that my family enjoys and makes me proud, all it would be is an unneeded stress.

This year, because my kitchen's down and the renovation isn't scheduled until Jan, I can't do Thanksgiving. We've ordered from Whole Foods and I'll supplement with a few things I can do on a single burner and reheat in a countertop convection oven. We already know it will be a disappointment, but we'll be home and cozy and already looking forward to next Thanksgiving.

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My parents have done it potluck for the past several years. They and their friends do pretty much every party potluck cuz no one has time! Of course it is a pretty casual affair with paper plates. And besides all the traditional stuff, we have some non-traditional stuff like sushi or dumplings also b/c that's just standard at every get-together.

Personally, I can't see myself ever cooking a turkey. I don't think I would buy one either though--just eat something else.

I did get to sample some of the ready made Thanksgiving stuff at Whole Foods and it was sooo good.

And my sister (19 y/o, away at college) and her friends are buying. It came out to $5/head for about 30-40 people. I think it definitely makes sense for them.

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Calamari, I don't have a MIL
or kids, just to clarify : D That
was just a compiled example
of the grief some of my married friends
have gotten from their families.
And word to the second part of your
post. It's so tacky to complain
your host didn't "work hard enough"
on Thanksgiving dinner : X

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I see nothing wrong with buying all or part of your Thanksgiving meal. All that matters is that you spend the time with people you love (or at least like). It doesn't matter what's on your plate.

We always do it potluck too, so that nobody is stuck cooking everything.

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the first trick is, don't define thanksgiving by WHAT you eat, only that you EAT. I've made holiday meals memorable by not serving the obvious - christmas is usually something unusual and asian, not ... whatever you eat for christmas. Ham or something? Turkey?

The second trick is, don't waste time making your house look like anything other than a home.

The third trick is, spend all the time cooking because it takes your mind off all the other stuff that is going on in your life and making you flustered. Make something wholesome and enjoy it and feel good about yourself.

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My husband and I have been buying our holiday meals from The Fresh Market for several years now. As there is only ever just the two of us, it seems pointless to cook up a big meal. Besides, the pre-made meal allows us to just lay back and enjoy the hoilday!

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Robyn- Cook or don't cook but I'd just like you to know that a turkey dinner is one of the more affordable, comforting and manageable meals. All you need is a good prep plan and a little practice. And in return you get a lot of appreciation and GREAT leftovers. ;->

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I'll do both! I agree totally with Calamari. I'm an avid cook, but my husband and I both work full time, and we have 2 young sons, and I would never fault anyone for not slaving away cooking and cleaning all day. I've had a "take-out" Thanksgiving once, when I was pregnant and had a toddler under 2 years old and unexpectedly found myself with family in town for Thanksgiving. Fortunately, my beloved brother-in-law brought an entire Thanksgiving meal from a gourmet grocery store. I made extra side dishes to go with it. It was pretty good. The whole point of Thanksgiving is to be thankful, and I definitely was - not just for the food, but for the opportunity to enjoy it with loved ones.

Another thing: my parents were Asian immigrants, so I don't feel much sentimental attachment to Thanksgiving "traditions." Usually we went to a big potluck at the Taiwanese church, where there were a few token roasted turkeys and pumpkin pies but all the other traditional dishes - Taiwanese traditional, that is - were tastier. So when I saw an ad for a "Thanksgiving meal package" at the Chinese grocery store around here, I thought, "Wow! That's just like the Thanksgivings I remember!" $78.88 or $108.88 gets you a roast turkey and 5 Chinese entrees!

http://www.99ranch.com/showpict.asp?pict=NewsAdImages/Thanksgiving_dinner_menu_L.jpg

I'll still have to make my "traditional" Taiwanese glutinous rice "stuffing" with pork, shiitake mushrooms and bamboo shoots. Along with my husband's family's favorite Pepperidge Farm sausage stuffing. :)

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For the past several years, it's been my Mom and I doing most of the Thanksgiving preparations. The entire family consists of myself, my parents, my sister, her hubby, and their three little boys (ages 6 years, 3 years, and 7 months).

Naturally, my sister's got her hands pretty full. So Mom handles the main course, and a couple of side dishes, and I also do a couple of sides, and maybe some hors d'oeuvre. We do it because we enjoy cooking...more specifically, we enjoy cooking for our loved ones.

And BTW, the pie is usually store-bought. Who's got time for that!?

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Tough I LOVE cooking, being 8 months pregnant, I don't have the energy to cook, or clean up the horrendous mess my husband makes when he cooks. So, we're either going out or ordering in this year. Sometimes, it just happens....

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Wow .Would of think of ordering dinner ofr the holidays. Eating out is normal so when you can sit and eat with family its a good thing. I tried it once form a grocery deli and the turkey had been cooked and frozen, it was blackened and very nasty looking, never again! There are ways to cook comfort foods at home days ahead, for the veggies and deserts and you dont have to cook a whole turkey!Ive done hens, ducks or just the turkey breast or wings and drumsticks.I have to have my dressing and cranberry sauce or it wouldnt be a hoilday for me!

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I love to cook for Thanksgiving and usually entertain most of my large family, but this year I will order out because I won't be getting Wednesday off. I think it is unfair that in general women do the cooking but don't get the day before Tnanksgiving off, I think women should lobby for a "Wednesday before Thanksgiving day holiday".

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i went to local chain grocery store the thinksgiving after my wife passed---it was just terrible--the only thing any good was the mashed potatos. never did it again.

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my fiance's family has thanksgiving dinner delivered every year and i just don't understad why! it's really not good at all.
i enjoy cooking with my family and the food is just soo much better!

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I *LOVE* to cook and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! When my kids were small, it was us 5, Grandma, my mom and her BF, and some years, my uncle and his son. I would make the turkey and my mom and I would split the rest of the food prep. Each year, we had our favorites, some that had been Grandma's years before, and each year, we would try something new, too. My mother's boysenberry-cranberry sause joined the "traditions," as did my butternut squash bisque. But things are different now: Grandma passed on, we moved 3,500 mi away, my kids are grown, and I am in a wheelchair. This year, some dear friends nearby are making the turkey, my (grown) daughter is making the carb-y side dishes and I am making the low-carb side dishes.

As long as I have family around, here are things I will never ever have or do for Thanksgiving:
~ eat at a restaurant (did it one, never again)
~ get the prepared meal from a supermarket deli
~ eat foods that aren't on my diet
~ give up the tradition of gathering together to celebrate that we have abundance and each other.

Rani
My Thanksgiving Essay: http://store.yahoo.com/carbsmart/lcthank.html

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This year I'm pregnant with my second daughter, 38 weeks along...and none of the family that lives around me wants to go traveling to other family in fear that I will go into labor with them gone. And I'm usually the one to cook the turkey and such...so needless to say we'll be ordering out this year. I wonder how many other people only do it every once in a while. I know I would much rather cook it myself, but I'm just not up to it this year. So you have to take into account those extenuating circumstances!!!

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