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Any kid can tell you that some candies are much more desirable than others when it comes to Halloween booty even though they're all free and most know that they're not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth. But even though the kids can be polite when receiving the candy, they ruthlessly categorize and consume it according to what is known as the Halloween Candy Hierarchy. The Hierarchy is based on "years of research and debate, on thorough testing and re-testing...and whatnot" and ranks all Halloween goodies in from top to bottom.
- TOP TIER - Chocolate based: Milky Way, Snickers, all M&M's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Junior Mints, Kit Kat, Twix, milk chocolate Hershey bars
- SECOND TIER - Lesser chocolate based: Nestle Crunch, Almond Joy, Mounds, Tootsie Rolls, Dark Chocolate Hershey Bars, Fair Trade Chocolate
- THIRD TIER - "Upper Chewy": Milk Duds, Starburst, Jolly Ranchers (if a good flavor), 100 Grand Bar
- BOTTOM TIER - "Lower Chewy", gummy and crunchy center: Dots, Lollipops, Nerds, Whoppers, Swedish Fish, Gummy Bears, Licorice, Anything from Brach's, Hard Candy, Gum, LaffyTaffy, Jolly Ranchers (if a bad flavor), Bottle Caps, Smarties
- "Tier so low it does not register on our equipment" - Anything healthy, anything inedible
Obviously, the results are open to some interpretation and some candies Skittles, for example, are not included. Toothpaste should also be included as well-meaning, but lame, in the lowest rung. But perhaps all this is something to keep in mind when you want to know what will make the kids happy next Halloween.
[Thanks, Bob!]
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11-03-2006 @8:23AM Mike said... The 100 Grand bar in the Third Tier?!?!
SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!!!
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11-03-2006 @8:26AM Abby said... My friend who works at NPR said that it was Tootsie Rolls that got left at the bottom:
http://www.andycarvin.com/archives/2006/11/tootsie_rolls_and_the_wisdom_of_crowds.html
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11-03-2006 @9:44AM Sally said... Lucky for me! I get all those miniature boxes of Dots and Swedish Fish!
I used to give my mom a chocolate-covered maple-nougat candy bar called "Bun." I got them every year, but I swear I never saw them sold anywhere!
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11-03-2006 @9:45AM Sally said... Oh - and dark chocolate should have an elite category all its own.
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11-27-2006 @4:09PM Amanda said... That's absolutely retarded. Everybody has their own favorite candy, and I don't know anybody who sits around sorting their candy after Halloween. You eat it or trade, not make a big production of which "tier" it falls in.
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11-03-2006 @11:21AM LisaV said... On Halloween I read an article that suggested giving juice boxes to trick-or-treaters so I did. The response was 100% positive from kids and parents! I offered top-tier chocolates too and most kids took both but some even left the candy and just took the juice. Though I'd pass along the idea.
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11-03-2006 @11:52AM Bear Silber said... Amanda I heavily disagree:
http://blog.myspace.com/bearsilber
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11-04-2006 @1:01AM Adriane said... Hahahaha, this sounds like a candy break down of the layers of hell...the "Upper Chewy" and whatnot. ha!
I agree with mike...100 Grand= Top Tier!! Caramels always get special treatment in my book.
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11-05-2006 @4:11AM melorama said... For me, those little boxes of Sun-Maid raisins formed the absolute foundation of the "lowest tier". People who gave those out were guaranteed to get their houses egged the following Halloween.
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11-05-2006 @6:18AM Christina said... All of this is highly subjective.
As a kid, my least favorite treats to get were chocolate -based. Except for Snickers or peanut butter cups.
To me, Smarties, Nerds, Haribo Gold Bears, Bottle Caps, SweetTarts, Necco wafers, Laffy Taffy, Pixie Stix, Skittles, and Runts were like gold to me.
I passed most of the chocolate to my mom.
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