If, for some reason, you aren't familiar with the practice of giving candy out to costumed children on Halloween, you might want to take a look at the guide put together by Stuff Magazine explaining the best and worst things to give out. Eager trick or treaters look forward to participating in the ritual every year and we wouldn't want to disappoint them. The worst "treats" include:
- Apples -- They're tasty, but they're not candy. They're "disappointing as hell for a little kid expecting a Snickers."
- Marshmallows -- Yes, they're candy, but they don't usually come individually wrapped -- a must for Halloween treats.
- A bag of pennies -- "It's like giving away a gift certificate for a piece of gum." Save up all those pennies and buy a bag of the real thing.
- Smarties -- The U.S. Smarties are chalky and kids don't even seem to enjoy them, despite the fact that they sometimes eat them on the grounds that they still constitute candy. Try to get U.K. Smarties (similar to M&M's) or avoid the candy mixes that include these.
- Anything homemade -- "This one is alright if you only give them to kids with neglectful parents." Any responsible parent is going to dump something unwrapped as fast as possible. Save your energy.
- Raisins -- "People generally give them out under the pretense that they want to make kids healthier. In reality, they give them out because they hate fun." The boxed raisins never taste all that fresh anyway.
The best options would include "anything made by a real candy company," preferably king-sized versions.
After all, any resulting cavities aren't going to end up on your dental bill.
[Thanks, Patrick]
Cakes so amazing they'd be hard to cut into
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Morbid thoughts? Have a cookie
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 23)
10-26-2006 @ 10:43AM
Boutros said...
What?! Smarties are GOOD. I used to eat them first.
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10-26-2006 @ 11:18AM
Spencer said...
My thoughts exactly, Boutros. Smarties = delicious.
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10-26-2006 @ 11:37AM
Laura said...
I used to unwrap all my smarties and make a big pile of them and then sort them by color, eating them in reverse-deliciousness order. Pink: meh. White: yum.
All smarty-hating children may feel free to pack up thier smarties and send them to me.
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10-26-2006 @ 11:42AM
tr said...
yes, i agree with Boutros. US smarties are pretty tasty. at least they have more flavor than Necco wafers.
on the list, i would also like to add
-little pads of paper - i used to get these every once in a while as a kid. what the hell does a little kid want with a crappy, odd shaped pad of paper?
-those small plastic novelty erasers, that don't erase anything, and just smear pencil marks
in fact, anything that's school supply/home office related is a bad thing. i remember the best house in the neighborhood was the lady who gave out full size snickers and twinkies. now THAT was a good treat!
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10-26-2006 @ 11:59AM
RWD fan said...
Don't bother with the Brachs peppermints either. If you really have to go with the bulk candies at least make it a bunch of the nougats, butterscotches, and caramels. If you absolutely insist on giving healthier alternatives, how about chewy granola bars? I know my son will chow down on those and I feel slightly better giving him one of those, or a nutri-grain bar instead of a Snickers.
Good list Nicole.
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10-26-2006 @ 12:25PM
dulci said...
I am with the Smarties' lovers.
Laura - you made my day. i thought was the only one who sorted them that way!!
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10-26-2006 @ 12:47PM
Lord Jezo said...
Hey man, Smarties are great, and yes, I mean the US version.
I would love opening up an entire roll of them and eating it all at once for a maximum sugar explosion.
People out there really don't like Smarties? I dont think I have ever met a person besides this author who says to avoid them completely.
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10-26-2006 @ 1:21PM
Mad William Flint said...
bah.
Smarties are AWESOME!
I'm personally sick to death of the snickers, 3-musketeers, almond joy, mounds, payday, fill-in-chocolate-covered-candybar types.
Gimme some twix, smarties and recees any day and I'm a happy little sheet-covered haloween monkey.
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10-26-2006 @ 1:29PM
james b said...
I like to eat, er umm I mean give out Heath bars. What kid wouldn't like English toffee covered in chocolate? Plus plenty of sour and/or Hershey products. My thing is to give every kid two treats, unless they are holding two bags. Then it is one treat in each bag. Might up the quantity late in the evening, but the ratio stays the same.
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10-26-2006 @ 1:32PM
savvy said...
When I was little we got packets of hot cocoa mix quite a bit, and every once in a while we'd get packs of peanuts or single-serving microwave popcorn bags. All of those were pretty good, and were food that we thought were a novelty as well as yummy.
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10-26-2006 @ 1:39PM
Boutros said...
I always thought the orange Smarties tasted like St. Joseph's chewable baby aspirin. That is a good thing, btw.
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10-26-2006 @ 2:16PM
Haley said...
I sort my Smarties too!!! Another good one is Shocktarts, especially for older kids.
A treat NOT to give out is popcorn balls. This was something my grandmother did. It wouldn't have been so bad, except she used the fat free, salt free, flavor free, stale popcorn. The same kind she uses as packing peanuts when sending out care packages. Blech.
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10-26-2006 @ 2:21PM
Mike G said...
I still remember getting $.50 McDonald's gift certifates. I was never sure how I felt about those. On one hand, as a kid, McDondald's good - very good. On the other hand, I couldn't eat the paper gift certificate right away which meant I had to delay my gratification, which was bad - very bad.
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10-26-2006 @ 3:35PM
Stephanie said...
Smarties are awesome!!!!!
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10-26-2006 @ 3:40PM
Kate said...
The best house in my hood, growing up, was the eccentric old bat who'd chase you away from her house with a rake, 364 days per year, but on Halloween, she dressed up as something, sat outside with a cooler, and gave out 8 oz bottles of cold coke, and a full sized Hershey bar, with or without almonds, your choice.
Bless you, Mrs. Beaumont.
Smartees were fine with me!
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10-26-2006 @ 4:30PM
Peter said...
I loved Smarties too!
One year we gave out these Halloween themed pencils with the candy. They were orange with bats and black cats on them. (On the design, not on the eraser or anything cool like that).
I thought my wife was nuts for doing it, but the kids really seemed excited by them and liked them.
One year we had these gumballs that had bloodshot eyeballs on them, the kids really liked those.
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10-26-2006 @ 4:53PM
Beth said...
I am on board with the smartee love. In high school I figured out how to crush them up into the yummiest sugar dust ever. It was a lot like crack, I guess.
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10-26-2006 @ 6:21PM
Rita said...
the last couple years I've given out juice boxes, kids loved those.........this year it's pudding snacks!
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10-26-2006 @ 10:03PM
Adriane said...
Well I am definitely the minority here...I HATE smarties! Those and Pez...blech.
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10-26-2006 @ 10:24PM
Average Betty said...
No, I'm with you Adriane... But I do love Pez dispensers! The real question is, does anybody really like candy corn?
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