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Man, I can't believe I let a whole decade of ambivalence separate me from what is now proving to be both my savior and my downfall, the nitrous fuel for the racecar that is myself... red bull. They're small, they're expensive, but if I drink more than two of them in the same afternoon, I'll be up for the next 24 hours.
Not to start harping on the hypocrisies of drug laws, but damn! I bet you if there was a plant that if you chewed its leaves it gave you a lift like red bull does, they'd make that sucker illegal faster than you can say "socially manipulated mass hysteria."
Mostly b-12 vitamins, I'm betting, which along with the caffeine, is what gives this bull its horns, but all in all it's a little miracle worker. Though for my money you really need to drink two of them in rapid succession if you want to feel properly "stampeded
According to my own shady sources, the bull began as a raver's rehydration drink, sold in clubs in only the hippest countries in the 1990s. I first heard about it from my very hip clubgoing jetsetter Ibiza-visiting friends who would come back from long jaunts on the "Dorfmeister Circuit" and tell me, their jaws clenched shut, pupils dilated, and skin bright red, about this amazing non-alcoholic drink they found in some club named Drill or Spaz or Draino. It was called Red Bull, it was legal and you drank it and it made you hallucinate. Of course we all wanted to find it, but it just wasn't around. People would fly to London and bring back cases of it. Luckily the cans are small enough that a case can fit in your carry-on bag. I tried one once or twice but never really got anything out of it.
Then this past summer I started drinking Rockstars, because of the name mainly, as I wanted to recapture some of my old rockstar glory, from when I was in the Mexican Mud Band. At first all I captured was panic attacks, sweating, and nausea. But that's all part of life as a rockstar, as I dimly remembered. Eventually I got my touring legs back, and was soon hooked, shaking and stammering and throwing tantrums if my deli was out of it, which was often. I prefered the diet rockstar, and soon I drank every deli in the east village out of stock of their tall white, gold lettered cans of diet rockstar. So... grudgingly I tried Monster (too gator-adey) and that Caution 99 cent one from the Arizona Iced tea people (too juicy), and wound up right where I started, with diet red bull, the ultimate party accessory for the sober New Yorker.
The trick with staying up all night on these suckers is to drink them early on in the day, and then regularly between meals. I find even drinking one in the late afternoon can keep me up pretty late. But guzzling two back to back around midnight will probably keep you up and alert until the following evening, assuming of course you don't eat any big carb-staurated pasta dishes, or turkey or anything.
Now, of course, Red Bull is a common sight all over the place, at least here in the big apple. You can see the Williamsburg hipsters all getting on the train drinking them with their evening paper. Assuming these youths are the future of America, will our nation become red bull-aholic? Never sleeping, only smirking, as surly and quick-tempered as an outback tour guide after a wild night of Fosters guzzling? I sure hope so. Maybe someday the bull will find its way onto the back shelf of the druggists, along with the sudafed. For now though, I'm glad to be awake and thirsty in the Age of the Chemical Brain booster. Ole!
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10-18-2006 @6:47PM Logan said... Oh man I love Rockstar because buddy it makes me feel like a rockstar. I can't help but shout FREEBIRD when I open one of those. Plus it's got that not so sweet taste like the syrupy Monster. Rockstar and Redbull is where it's at. Rock on.
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10-18-2006 @7:38PM FredTheCat said... You should really try Coke's Full Throttle drink...it's all the same fun without the medicine taste and I could drink them constantly if they weren't so pricy. The biggest problem with drinking Full Throttle is how often they're completely sold out! If you're in the same boat, try Home Depot where you can buy them by the case!
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10-18-2006 @8:31PM Angela Pitt said... Man, I thought you were talking about me being a
Taurus! (Just kidding) I think they get the name "Red
Bull" from the movie "The Last Unicorn." As for drinking the stuff? I don't need to, I got energy to
burn.
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10-18-2006 @9:15PM Kate said... This was a fun post to read, truly. I've known about Red Bull for ages but was never motivated to try it. I *have* tried and enjoy diet Rockstar, but don't drink it with any regularity. For one thing, it's so darn large a serving (you know you can get it at a Costco, right? No need to scour the delis of NYC. Just venture out to the burbs). The Red Bull is certainly the right size, so I'll give it a whirl. Maybe even back to back like you suggest, doing my column at midnight, because that's how I roll.
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10-19-2006 @7:52AM BDW said... There are many leaves that will give you a better boost than rave drinks. Many of them are illegal, but many more are not.
True children of the 60's know what I'm talking about.
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10-19-2006 @7:15AM Bill said... my wife recently gave birth, and in the hospital each father was issued with two cans of Red Bull. She got loads of nappies, lotions etc, but we all know who the winner was!
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10-19-2006 @7:17AM Bill said... that's in Edinburgh, Scotland btw.
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10-19-2006 @10:39AM Carolyn said... Tab energy drink is also really good. Tastes sorta like a jolly rancher. Works wonders for late night meetings.
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10-19-2006 @1:24PM guest1234567 said... I'm surprised nobody has brought up Red Bull and Vodka! I've been drinking that for years.
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10-19-2006 @1:45PM Fash said... I have been known to drink either diet Red Bull or Tab energy prior to a cardio workout, and they really do keep me going much longer than I expect to.
It's gotta be that magical "sense of well being". Either way, twice a week I do 7 miles instead of my typical 5 the other four days. I love it.
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10-19-2006 @4:04PM Inaya said... Tab Energy is the Best tasting energy drink out there. It lacks the strong vitamin taste and testosterone appeal.
BTW, the Link to Clucuronolactone should be: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glucuronolactone
It is also an ingredient in Rock Star.
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10-19-2006 @4:42PM Steve said... Red Bull is originally from Thailand where it's much more concentrated and sold in small medicine bottles. It's literally called "Red Bull", but in Thai.
The famous Red Bull in the small cans that everybody knows today comes from an Austrian company. It started when an Austrian entrepreneur got a license from the aforementioned Thai beverage company, started producing it in Austria and marketed the hell out of it (and got filthy rich in the process).
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