The Chicago Tribune brought up an interesting question this week: when should a server clear your plate from the table? Should a server remove plates as a diner finishes them, regardless of whether dining companions are finished? Or should the server wait until the end, when everyone has finished, and clear the entire table at once?
Some people belong to the "Clear at the End" camp, thinking it rude. It disrupts the conversation at the table, and may make fellow diners who have not finished eating, feel rushed.
Other people belong to the "Clear as You Go" camp, and according to Emily Post, this is a newer practice. The argument is that clearing plates keeps the dining table less cluttered, and in fact, many diners see this as attentive service on the part of the waitstaff. Additionally, I know that some people like to have plates of unfinished food removed because they don't want to continue to pick at it.
However, according to Pamela Stoner, a dining room instructor at Kendall College's culinary arts school in Chicago, "fine dining rules" are such that servers should wait until the entire table is finished eating.
I grew up in the "Clear at the End" group, for the same reasons stated above. Ideally, everyone finishes their plates at the same time anyway. If you find yourself irritated that your empty plate is still in front of you while others around you are still eating, maybe you need to slow down.
What about you? Do you find it rude for a server to clear plates before other diners are finished? Or do you see it as inattentive service?

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8-25-2006 @9:13AM Starr said... I prefer that the waitstaff wait until everyone at the table is finished eating before removing plates. However my biggest peeve is when all of the diners have finished eating and the waiter/waitress has disappeared leaving us to sit there with dirty plates. When they finally show up its to bring the check.
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8-25-2006 @10:18AM Amy Z said... I guess I'm in a minority. I like my plates removed when I'm done. They take up space and add visual clutter. I usually am the first one done, and whether they take my plate or it's in front of me with my silverware and napkin on it - they both indicate I finished first. Big whoop. Either way, it's obvious that I finished first. Plus I'm one of those people that tend to lean my arms on the table (not while eating). I lean forward when I talk. Can't do that with all those dirty dishes there (depending on where you're eating and what you got). I even start scraping the crums away from me (or put them on my plate depending if it's been taken or not). I want a clean space in front of me. It's not like either method is going to ruin my meal, my conversation or my enjoyment, but my preference is to clear the plates as they are completed.
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8-25-2006 @11:07AM mary smith said... How would you feel if you were eating your meal slower than everyone else and the plates were being cleared away while you were still eating? Would you feel that you were being rushed? The plates should all be removed when everyone is done eating their meal. The reason why the servers ask you if you're done with your meal is so that they can remove your plates and make the person who is eating the slowest feel pressured to eat faster so that they can get you out of their establishment faster. It's all about money. Once you see that you see everything . -=
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8-25-2006 @11:47AM Cindy said... I think plates should be removed after everyone is finished with the course. No one should feel rushed to finish or as if they've eaten too fast. How/when the plates are removed is an indication to me of the professionalism of the staff or the level of the restaurant.
As for the crossed silverware, my grandmother taught me that crossed silverware was an unspoken indication that you were not pleased with some portion of your meal or service. I've only crossed my silverware when something was not to my liking. I've had one or two servers pick up on it. I think it may be slightly old-fashioned and not commonly known nowadays.
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8-28-2006 @9:40AM Amy Z said... That wouldn't make me feel rushed, (nor would any friends or family I'd be eating with). Why should it? No one I know eats at the same pace, especially if they're eating different meals (i.e. steak vs salad - salad takes longer). So I still don't see the problem. And although I often finish first, it's not always. I've been last often enough. The only time I would feel rushed if is my companions are sitting with money in their hands trying to pay the check while I'm still eating. And that hasn't happened.
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8-25-2006 @1:39PM Liz said... I'll chime in to say I like the clear as plates are finished style. Maybe I eat more often at casual restaurants or with smaller groups of people, but it's never been an issue. However, I will disagree with a number of other posters and I'll say that most of the people I know now are people who say "Go ahead and start" even if they don't have their plates, so I've gotten used to that, which is the opposite of what I learned as a child. If we're at a nice restaurant, we can be sure that our meals will arrive at the same time, but anything more casual and we could be waiting a while. The prevailing attitude seems to be the warm food trumps politeness.
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8-25-2006 @1:44PM james b said... Well you are sitting there with people that start eating before everyone is served, people that blow their nose at the table, next to people who hang their arm on (or into) the adjacent booth, ringing phones, two-way radios, and daily birthday singing anyway. It almost doesn't matter anymore. The distinction between a fast food restraunt and the sit-down variety is getting blurry. Of course I would prefer if the plates were cleared in unison, but we have turned into a rude society with rude help - if you live in the USA anyway.
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8-25-2006 @2:10PM ErosLane said... I simply love having the dishes (and used sugar packets, et. al.) removed frequently by stealthly, ninja-like waitstaff --- regardless if I am dining solo or with a large group. LOVE IT.
I go out of my way to eat at those places more frequently, and my tip increases also.
If I want a bunch of dirty dishes sitting on my table, I'll eat at home. Or Hooters. :-)
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8-25-2006 @2:25PM Muse said... I really don't have any preference - as long as the plates are cleared before they bring tea and coffee is fine with me, and as long as I'm actually finished before they try to take my plate away.
My husband, on the other hand, gets upset if his plate is cleared before mine. Probably because I'm a slow eater, and as he says, we're dining together!
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8-26-2006 @11:17AM thalia said... I feel very strongly about this one. In Europe no one would ever DREAM of clearing a plate before everyone has finished - it's the height of rudeness. I find it extraodinary that even at top ranked US restaurants they will remove plates before everyone has finished. It's so disruptive to the conversation and interrupts the dining experience as frequently I've just paused, and suddenly the server is at my shoulder trying to remove my plate. Awful.
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8-26-2006 @10:37AM Angel said... Like Lauren, I ask you to please remember that most restaurants train their servers to remove plates when the diner finishes his or her meal. The server gets secret shoppers that scores how well he or she follows through with the training and can be written up for not following "the rules." I noticed that some of you are very strong in your preference of not having the plate removed, but Please, during your stay at the restaurant, be polite to your server. We are often just following the rules as listed to us, and we don't get paid enough to be yelled at for removing a plate early. We usually ask if you're finished, just be polite in your responses. Thanks.
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8-26-2006 @12:31PM Allison said... Clear at the end is the correct way to do it for the reasons stated above. They should never have to ask as the placement of the knife and fork communicates whether or not the diner is finished eating (side by side is done, set apart is not done).
The reason many places don't do it that way (even if they know better) is they want to turn the tables faster, so they DO want to make the other diners feel rushed. And as someone else mentioned, it also makes you more likely to purchase more food/drink.
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8-28-2006 @4:02PM Steve Barron said... Wow, you all must be eating/working at much better restaurants than I have been eating in. Just in the last two weeks (maybe 8 different restaurants ranging from casual to almost fine) I have had at least 3 occasions where the meal plates showed up before the appetizer/salad/whatever plates were cleared. The server sometimes even showed up with two (or more) full hands and we all ended up holding our plates up for them to set down the new ones!
P.S. To those who said it was rude to start eating if not everyone has been served: I have always heard that if the *majority* of people have hot food on the table, it is better to start, rather than have most people's food get cold. Any comments?
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8-28-2006 @2:25PM Vicky said... I don't like when they ask me more than once do I them to take my plate up. No! If I want you to take it up I'll call you over or put my silverware on the plate to let you know I'm through.
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9-08-2006 @7:09AM Chris Forsythe said... I worked as a waiter for a long time, and never heard of this "crossing your pointy things that stab things" rule. Maybe it's a location thing.
Most of the time I cleared a table in 2 manners. If one of the patrons at the table pulled anything that meant the plate should be cleared, the rest of the table got the same form of treatment when their plate was cleared. Otherwise it would be a wait until the end type situation.
The problem you'll run into at different restaurants that I've worked at is that each will train you differently, and they expect you to do it their way and to not care about what the customer wants sometimes. A manager wrote me up about one table one time I didn't clear until the end, but they left me a rather nice tip so I didn't care.
Clear signals are best though. Pushing the plate forward is not enough of a sign for a server in the weeds. Pushing it up and to the left should be except for the numbest of waiters. At that point just call a bus boy/server assistant over and they'll get it done for you faster.
In either case, there are too many conflicting methods on this one that you really should not consider it a tip deducting issue, if you do.
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10-04-2006 @11:37AM Dee said... I was taught to place my fork and knife side by side on the plate in the four o'clock position to indicate that I have finished eating and would like the plate removed. My husband eats fast and always finishes before me and I always feel rushed regardless of whether or not his plate has been removed.
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10-04-2006 @1:49PM MJ said... He should watch and then quitely ask a person. Most people dont know which fork to eat with or how to alert the person that they are finished. I think this makes it easy on everyone. We are a people whp rarely seat to eat as a family at home or out. go to fastfood places where you dont need a fork, knife or spoon. My son gave me this revelation recently when he did not know why they had more than one fork! I grew up in the time there you started with salad soup,shrimp coctail, main course, desert, coffee, and a liquor afterwards. No wonder I fell asleep. As i got older i enjoyed these long meals. Which we had once a week at our home. And sometimes 3 times a week out!Need to teach the kids..So ashamed!
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10-04-2006 @1:26PM MJ said... I agree with#36. Why do they do that? I have tried eating faster, doesnt work.I guess it is hard for him to eat slow. Always have to get a to go bag.Guess thats why I eat out.....with others, hate to feel rushed epecially expensive as it is these days!
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