I always cross my knife and fork on my plate to signal when I am finished and would like the plate removed. Servers usually pick up on this immediately. If not, I move the plate away from right in front of me until they get the message. On occasion, I have had to ask for it to be removed.
It has really never been much of an issue, even the "clear all at once" servers catch on and remove a plate with the proper signal!

Reply

Servers should wait until everyone in the dining party has indicated that they have finished. It's uncomfortable as the person who's finished first, and uncomfortable as the person who's still eating while others have had their plates cleared away. Los Angeles is a town of "in-between-acting-jobs" servers, and it's great that they have the opportunity to make money until they fulfil their dreams, but someone needs to train these poor souls as to how a table is properly served!

Reply

I think its best if the server waits until everyone at the table is finished. I know that from my experiences when my plate is cleared away before others are done eating it makes me feel like it is bringing attention to the fact that I've eaten quicker than others. On the other hand, if other people finish before I do and their plates are cleared away while I am still eating, I do feel rushed to hurry up and/or begin feeling self concious that the people who have finished may be watching me and wishing I would hurry up.

I realize this is all psychological and really... what does it matter? But I do think it is just better service if the wait staff waits until we are ALL done.

Reply

I think its best if the server waits until everyone at the table is finished. I know that from my experiences when my plate is cleared away before others are done eating it makes me feel like it is bringing attention to the fact that I've eaten quicker than others. On the other hand, if other people finish before I do and their plates are cleared away while I am still eating, I do feel rushed to hurry up and/or begin feeling self concious that the people who have finished may be watching me and wishing I would hurry up.

I realize this is all psychological and really... what does it matter? But I do think it is just better service if the wait staff waits until we are ALL done.

Reply

I also prefer to have it left until the end. To me, an attentive server's attention can be caught with a simple gesture, or eye contact, and then with a simple verbal or hand direction, take a few items away, if they're crowding the table, but otherwise leave it all where it is.

Reply

Just a note that Emily Post is deceased... her granddaughter-in-law Peggy Post fills her shoes these days.

Reply

I prefer the dishes be cleared as we go. If I take the time to push the plate away or set it aside, that is my indication to our server that I'm finished with it.

Reply

i have been waiting tables for a while, all throughout college and i do not agree with some of the comments these folks have posted. i, as a server feel that is it my duty to make sure the guest are well taken care of,and to me if a guest is done dining i ask if i may take that something out of their way. a lot of people feel that once they are finished with their meal they don't want to keep looking at an empty plate in front of them. i believe that people that feel self-concious
maybe need to keep the same pace as everyone else so that at the end everyone is finished at the same time. personally i feel that if i dont remove dishes from a table it looks too dirty and cluttered and usually when i don't remove anything from a table i get asked by some of the guests to take something out of their way.

Reply

i was taught that when you want your plate removed you are to turn your fork upside down and place your knife across it to form an ex. that this is a sign for the server to please remove your plate but not disrupt your conversation. my grandmother taught me that at a very young age and i still do it to this day, even though i don't think very many people practice this anymore or know what it means.

Reply

I think it is inappropriate for the server to remove your plate before the entire table is finished, just as it is also common etiqutte to not start eating the meal until everyone has received their plate of food.

Reply

I was taught that you place your fork upside down on your plate in the "four o'clock" position to indicate that you're done; knife can go alongside it if you wish.

Reply

When a course has been completed by the guest the "dirty" dish should be removed immediately.
Your knife and fork, for that particular course, laid on the plate is the signal for the server to go into action.

Reply

I remove the plante when I note one of those signals..most do them and don't relize why. LIke move the plate up and a little to the left. I see that all the time. Knife and fork on the plate together, or a napkin atop the plate.
Also, snapping of the fingers, a sudden and loud HEY MISS,,or my personal favorite..a plate being woven in the air like a Frisbee. Little hints like that
that's when I remove the plate..each customer is differant. I just follow suit.

Reply

I, too, make an X of my cutlery, or simply lay them both across the plate and push it slightly off center, making it clear I've finished. However, I prefer the plates be cleared when my companion is finished. As someone who usually finishes last, I do feel rushed and uncomfortable if I'm still eating.

I have a different problem, however. I eat slowly for a reason and if I've said three times, no, I'm not finished, please respect that and simply let me make it clear when I am. If I'm HOLDING my cutlery in my hands, how can I be finished? I've actually been asked that question when I was CHEWING, still -- just because my companion's plate has been cleared and they are expecting me to get it over with. It's not like I'm finished 30 minutes later, by the weay. We're talking less than 10.

Reply

I mean when all of my companions are finished ... including me. I feel rushed, so presume others would as well.

Reply

Plates only cleared when everyone has finished. I'd probably complain if plates were cleared while other people were still eating. You don't start eating til everyone has received their meal, do you?

As for customers snapping fingers, shouting or waving plates in the air ... that just beggars belief.

Reply

I also cross my knife and fork on the plate and push it slightly away from me. I understand that staff may have been given directions on when to clear plates when they were trained to work at the restaurant...and if it's unclear whether or not someone is finished, I think it's okay to ask "May I take your plate?" However, "Are you still workin' on that?" is really off-putting to me.

Reply

I seem to remember this coming up in Edmund Lawler's book "Lessons in Service from Charlie Trotter" (Ten Speed, 2001), but I can't remember for sure. I've emailed Mr. Lawler to see if he'll chime in on this.

Reply

I prefer that the waitstaff wait until everyone at the table is finished eating before removing plates. However my biggest peeve is when all of the diners have finished eating and the waiter/waitress has disappeared leaving us to sit there with dirty plates. When they finally show up its to bring the check.

Reply

I guess I'm in a minority. I like my plates removed when I'm done. They take up space and add visual clutter. I usually am the first one done, and whether they take my plate or it's in front of me with my silverware and napkin on it - they both indicate I finished first. Big whoop. Either way, it's obvious that I finished first. Plus I'm one of those people that tend to lean my arms on the table (not while eating). I lean forward when I talk. Can't do that with all those dirty dishes there (depending on where you're eating and what you got). I even start scraping the crums away from me (or put them on my plate depending if it's been taken or not). I want a clean space in front of me. It's not like either method is going to ruin my meal, my conversation or my enjoyment, but my preference is to clear the plates as they are completed.

Reply