Our correspondent, Kara Chiles, sent us this report. Kara is an editor, freelance writer, media junkie and shameless consumer of high art, low culture, comfort food, elegant design and excellent shoes. You can write to her by way of karachiles1 AT aol.com

You hear about classic rivalries and think surely they’re blown out of proportion. The Hatfields and McCoys waved to each other in passing, right? If Maria & Tony could bridge the Jet-Shark divide in ‘West Side Story,’ can’t we all? Not so much in Philly, where cheese steak loyalty can halt a cocktail party.

While visiting friends last weekend, I decided it was time for a true Philly Cheese Steak-Off. To keep things semi-legit: all sandwiches were the same – a classic Wiz Wit (that’s Cheese Whiz “Wit” onions) and all had to be eaten at time of purchase (hot & fresh being crucial). With those “rules,” I felt free to ignore the screaming of my digestive tracks and dive in.

Herewith, the results:

Pat’s, King of the Steaks: Is Pat THE Originator of the Philly Cheese Steak? At least every other establishment you’ll see claims to be, but Pat’s is one of the few that looks like its grease traps could back it up. The line for Pat’s wraps around the squat brick building yet moves quickly. Pat’s will have none of your nonsense and provides not only a menu, but also instructions on how to order.

Verdict: Pat’s Wiz Wit is a cheesy greasy missile rolled into wax paper and shoved at you as the next person in line is stepping on your heels. The Pat’s was good, nothing fancy. Skimpy on the onions, the cheese however was everywhere, coating the fatty steak, snaking along the wax paper. As my host pointed out, a run to Pat’s isn’t complete until a baptismal dollop of cheese jus plops onto your jacket (mission unwittingly but thoroughly accomplished). Overall though, a congealing yet satisfying lunch.

Geno’s Steaks: Pat’s and Geno’s face off across 9th Street like two toughs waiting for the other guy to mouth off so he can deck him. If Pat’s is classic, Geno’s is all eye candy and cleanliness. Traffic-cone-colored flames bring to mind what Hell’s steak joint would look like… if Hell were cool and done in blazing neon. It’s blindingly well lit with seating bobby-pinned around the kitchen hub. Patrons line up right into the middle of the intersection for sandwiches – a vehicularly hazardous, but telling endorsement.

Verdict: The Wiz Wit is a surprisingly deft synergy of cheese, steak, onions and bread. Each bite accomplished what the best blends do: harmonizing the individual ingredients into a satisfying whole. Notable curveball: Unlike most other establishments, Geno’s doesn’t chop the steak into a loose scramble but leaves the fillets intact.

Jim’s Steaks: Removed from direct conflict but equally as substantial is Jim’s. Squatting on a corner of South Street, in Philly’s City Center, the shop’s greasy siren call lures passersby. Inside the art deco touches, pressed tin ceiling and framed autographs speak of an old-timey diner with a surprisingly nouveau beverage selection. I wasn’t going to assess the above-the-store dining room but I gotta tell you: Sitting up there in a closed room on a rainy day with a bunch of steak-loving Philadelphians is a ripe experience. Get yours to go.

Verdict: One Wiz Wit here gets you a fast slather of cheese and an insertion of steak with onions bursting from the loaf. (Note: Some line cooks at Jim’s are more generous than others. Consider line placement carefully.) Jim’s had the most flavorful steak, salty and lightly seasoned and noticeably less fatty. The drawbacks center on the speed of their assembly line. The onions ended up in a wad in the middle; the Whiz absorbed by the bread, leaving whole bites of cheese steak devoid of cheese.

My host, who has been known to “wake and steak,” is a diehard Jim’s fan. I found myself surprisingly in favor of Neon Geno’s take. Cheese steak is the sum of its parts and it was the clear winner in terms of balance. But the beauty of Philadelphia’s many eateries is that they are so varied. Each variation on the theme calls to different taste buds. So whether you find yourself drawn to the steak, the cheese or the ambience, all of these rivalries will undoubtedly continue to exist. Happily, for us.