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I remember the magic of my first Christmas season at the investment bank where I worked right out of college. My managing director started to get holiday baskets around the end of the first week in December. He'd pick out a few goodies and then let me pick whatever I wanted (I was the pet) before doling out the prizes to the rest of the group. I was in heaven - all these gourmet goodies. But before long I became as jaded as the rest of them, passing on yet another unripe pear and searching underneath the tissue paper for that forgotten chocolate.
Don't be the one whose gifts are still left on the conference table days later. Here are the bottom five food presents this holiday season:
- Giant peanut butter cookies with M&Ms baked in. Such a nice, colorful idea. But by the time they're given, the cookies are hard and stale and the pretty candy coating of the M&Ms have begun to shatter. I'd rather you just bought me a jar of peanut butter, a pack of M&Ms, and a spoon.
- Any homemade goodie that includes storebought breakfast cereal. I love me a Rice Krispies treat as much as the next woman, but I'm highly suspect of the home kitchens that make these marshmallow-encrusted bar snacks. How about homemade granola, instead?
- Any prepackaged food gift presented in a mug, then wrapped in cellophane. I think this is where candy goes when it's been rejected by the food bank for being years past its expiration date. Instead, spend your $4.95 or $9.95 or whatever ridiculous "sale" price you've found and buy a bar or two of Dagoba chocolate. If you must have cellophane, find some in the conference room.
- Whitman's Samplers or Russell Stover chocolates. Boxes of these inscrutable chocolates were the stuff of dreams when I was six. I longed for the Whitman's Sampler four-pack. Now I'm an adult and I have standards. See's is a fine substitute (I suggest the two-pound nuts and chews box), or go lush with Teuscher.
- Honey-roasted peanuts. Remember when these were a delicacy? The snack everyone crowded around at family parties? Now they're more high-fructose than honey and we have better things to do. Make your own spicy, sweet nuts - maybe walnuts with maple syrup and cayenne pepper. Yeah.
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12-15-2005 @12:37PM Andrew said... I once got given a box of christmas tree decorations - chocolate santas and snowmen - in early January. They were out of date by over a year...
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12-15-2005 @3:43PM Punisher2k said... How could you leave out packaged fruit cake?
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12-16-2005 @7:02AM Coyote said... I still LIKE honey roasted peanuts as a gift.
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12-16-2005 @7:17AM Newsbabe said... I can't believe flavored popcorn isn't on this list. It comes in those industrial tubs with the same sorry selection: plain, cheesy and caramel. It's always stale, it leaves a mess and stinks up the whole office.
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12-16-2005 @12:20PM Ungrateful Brat said... the worst was a jar of dry cookie batter ingredients (flour, suger, baking powder) in a mason jar...the tag said all I had to do was add an egg and mix up, roll, the dough and bake for a gift of a dozen cookie....mmmm...basic bisquick in a jar...with a bow...mmmmm
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12-16-2005 @2:43PM sarah gilbert said... oh, the popcorn! that's such a good point. I almost want to rewrite the whole list just to reflect that ;)
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