I have a new favorite food movie. It's called The Engagement Ring; it stars Patricia Heaton as a native Napa Valley winemaker; and (I am afraid to tell you this) I liked it even better than Chocolat. I can't express to you how deliciously sappy this movie is, how cliched the food scenes. And yet I was captivated, sucked in by the oysters, the cheeses, the wine, the hunks of meat. When Nick Di Cenzos, the "leading man," tells Patricia's character that her wine is "exquisite, perfect!" I wince with pain - and yet, I'm so, so happy that she's managed to hit the nail on the head with her blend. If only I had some cinematic standards.

But no. I'm in love with bad movies that do good food. As long as someone's chopping, peeling and sauteing, and (naturally) shopping for gigantic hunks of cheese in some picturesque supermarket, I don't care how hackneyed the dialogue or how hard it is for me to believe (say) Sarah Michelle Gellar might be a really amazing chef.

And she was an amazing chef, magical actually, in Simply Irresistible. Let me just run down the plot for you. Amanda's mom has died, leaving her the restaurant where she cooked so well. She's an ok cook, but let's face it, she sucks now. She goes to the market, where she is forced to buy a magical crab. Once she brings it back to her restaurant she begins to cook food that makes people float, fall in love, sob uncontrollably. Guess what? Someone falls in love with her. Aww...

I could watch that movie again and again. When she uses those vanilla orchids to make that creme anglaise... my mouth is so watering. Forget the smoochy-lovey-dovey part. I just want to try that pastry.

The third movie that fits into the category of sappy food movies is Soul Food. Sure enough, everyone gathers around Big Mama's table each Sunday night - and in her kitchen - to do the usual family drama. The plot - well, let's just say it's a tiny bit predictable. The food? Greens and biscuits and chicken oh my. Is it lunchtime yet?

You can keep your Babette's Feast and your Like Water for Chocolate - I'll take me a dumb romantic comedy with lots of slicing and dicing anyday.