Did you ever wonder why the civilized breakfast of two or three cups of coffee and a couple of croissants makes you all joyful and peppy for a few minutes then knocks you back to sleep? It's because "normal" food isn't supposed to give you such a massive sugar rush. Our bodies were meant to digest meat and tubers, slow burning items that unleash their energy potential gradually. Sugar refining is like the refining that turns crude oil into gasoline. Sugary cereal is the premium high octane fuel that burns faster in the tank then leaves you on "E" - whereas the crude oil (eggs and bacon) burns slow and messy and leaves your stomach streaked with black flecks, it takes forever to light, forever to get going, and it never seems to stop smoldering once the flame dies out.

I tried to adopt the hunter-gatherer diet but I could not manage to get myself excited to wake up to eggs and bacon every morning -- I am powerless over the lure of the muffin. This is the nature of addiction, why we flour children end up eating the whole bag of cookies when all we wanted was one. If you are an alcoholic or coffee addict you will probably like sugar too much as well, and vice versa… it's all connected along the highway to hell called the bloodstream.

Here's another groovy metaphor: the human digestive system is a campfire that's always burning-- whether there's wood (food) in it or not. Nutrients are what help the fire burn clean and bright and long. Meat and vegetables are the thick, damp logs. Fruit and nuts are like kindling branches and the little twigs and newspapers are whole grains. Refined sugars and white breads meanwhile are the lighter fluid that Smokey the Bear made you swear was not in the trunk. Sugar creates huge, wicked cool balls of flame but then that's it, Smokey the Bear comes with his hose, and it's out. Sugar leaves the area blackened and smoky. The flame flutters out and everybody starts shivering. The angry campers who demand constant warmth insist you pour the rest of the lighter fluid on the fire, post-haste! That's your sugar craving.

Smokey the Bear is the insulin from the pancreas is what regulates sugar levels in the blood stream. He moves amongst the sugar molecules saying, "We'll burn you, you and you now, but the rest of your clowns are getting sent down to fat cell storage." This is what causes the crash, all that great sugar is "put out" for later, like a half-smoked cigarette.  Smokey is always circumnavigating the perimeter, spraying the grass, watering down the fire. He means well, he wants to prevent you from going into diabetic shock, but man is he a drag.

If you become a hopeless victim of sugar addiction, like say, an alcoholic, then your Smokey the Bear becomes like the stereotypical twitchy Vietnam vet. He thinks of you as a pyromaniac with a can of gasoline and a maniacal laugh. He stands by the side of the campfire with his finger on the hose trigger, he shoots first and asks questions later. As a result he keeps the logs way too soggy for a decent amount of warmth, and so before you know it, you HAVE to keep spraying on the gasoline just to get any heat at all. Your customers get cranky and demand more sugar. Old Smokey gets so jittery and stressed out that he just starts spraying the minute he smells smoke. Your poor brain screams for glucose, but Smokey will barely let a fire get going. So you take an old sugar addict like me, I have maybe ten minutes to enjoy the warmth of my banana nut muffin fire before old Smokey can get the water pump started and knock me back into a shivering stupor.  It's the vicious cycle of addiction, the insulin blockers and the big sugar payoff locked in the eternal struggle of good and evil, freedom and censorship, light and darkness.

Luckily there is a way out of this dense forest: L-glutamine. This miracle supplement basically functions as an electric heater. You take L-glutamine and the sugar craving stops; you feel relaxed, the brain has its heat, and Smokey approves because it's not a fire hazard. His trigger finger relaxes and he learns to smile again. After a few weeks he even asks where the chocolate bars are, he misses them. He's not going to get upset if you throw a few squirts of gasoline on the fire now. He's cool… until it becomes a habit and the vicious circle starts all over again.

The web holds lots of information on L-glutamine and other nifty supplements such as GABA and Glutathione and Gabba-Gabba-Hey. I found one interesting site by Dr. Pricilla Slagle  who also points out that l-glutamine "protects the lungs from toxic insult." (How dare you, sir!) She also recommends one takes pydroxal-5-phosphate along with the l-glutamine to facilitate proper absorption. There might be some in the bottles at the health food store, so check the label. I think B-6 works, too.

A more "au natural" way to get your sugar regulated is via the amino acid combos in Brewer's yeast, Solgar's makes a good brand of compressed tablets, or you can stir it into juice. For myself, when I've had to quit booze, coffee, chocolate, or whatever over the years, I started with the l-glutamine, after which I switched to Brewer's yeast for awhile. After that I was good to get back on the caffeine and croissant horse. Your mileage may vary, but just lay off the dizzying hurdles. Soon you'll be guzzling coffee and pounding down donuts and not crashing into nap mode until at least lunch time, like a civilized flour-person.