With Thanksgiving little more than two weeks away, I have started planning as I always do. Ever since I could physically lift a turkey out of the oven, I have been in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes that means I am the General Butterball, providing the turkey, then dictating what sides everyone else brings to a potluck-style dinner at my teensy tiny apartment. Most of the time, though, it means I am cooking up the whole show myself.
The latter is my preference, control freak that I am. I just can't bear the thought of certain dishes that only seem to come out at Thanksgiving time, but really now, they should never come out at all. Oh, who am I kidding? Even when I cook, my family calls, emails, IMs and makes requests for those things I absolutely detest and I have to make them anyway:
1. Green Bean Casserole - Why? Whhhyyyy?!?! It's condensed soup, canned green beans, and onions that look like deep-fried aliens. I tried to make this from "scratch" one year, and my sister asked me suspiciously, "You didn't use Campbell's, huh? Because it doesn't taste right."
2. Candied Yams - I love sweet potatoes. Roasted, mashed, whipped with cream and butter, sweet potatoes are delicious and of course, extremely healthy. But there is nothing healthy nor natural about squishy orange chunks from a can covered with toasted marshmallows. Marshmallows are for s'mores and rice krispies. I hate those itty bitty marshmallows. Hate hate hate marshmallows on my "yams."
3. Stovetop Stuffing - I can't believe I am admitting that someone in my family prefers Stovetop over stuffing made from scratch. It makes me twitch. How does dry boxed stuffing have chicken in it?! Chicken flavor, I know, which is just...excuse me while I *twitch*
4. Cranberry Gelatin Mold - Cranberry sauce is one of my favorite things on the table. I have in recent years, even made fresh cranberry relish which is incredibly tart and totally awesome. Fresh cranberries bounce, but why does someone want to watch it wiggle, see it jiggle?!?! And the fact that it's called a "mold" should knock it right off the table anyway.
5. This one is for you to fill in because if I think about it anymore, I might just get so discouraged and screw it all by ordering KFC.









Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
11-09-2005 @ 9:58AM
Beth said...
I guess I am one of the lucky ones who cannot wait for every dish on Thanksgiving. NONE of which includes the aforementioned dishes! Every year I see that commercial for Green Bean Casserole, and I will never understand.....
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11-09-2005 @ 10:13AM
Adam Jacob Muller said...
Pies bought from a store. Just disgusting. Especially when someone brings some kind of butter-creme completly non-thanksgiving *cake* that they bought at shoprite to my thanksgiving dinner that struggles to only include traditional foods while simultaniously accomadating people who won't eat anything but white bread and plain pasta. I spent countless hours jugling the menu not to mention the days spent cooking this food and YOU went to shoprite and bought a cake.
Not to mention that the local shoprite has a very nice liquor department, and as long as it's not coming in a box we would love for you to bring a nice bottle of wine (or hell, even a bottle of rum -- they had rum back then :-)
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11-09-2005 @ 10:18AM
Reese said...
Sarah you took the words right out of my mouth.
I have to admit though, as much as I claim to dismay green bean casserole, somewhere deep down I like it. I can't picture myself ever making it, but if its in the Thanksgiving spread, I'm going to be partaking.
I stand behind you 100% in your comments on candied yams. That's just gross, vegetables shouldn't need marshmallows to make them taste "good".
I'd like to add one of my own. Not really a side dish so much, but a holiday requisite none the less. I love egg nog with a passion matched by little. But you bring out the lite, light, fat free, sugar free, etc egg nog and you, my friend, have made an enemy for life. What kind of sadistic person takes something which is supposed to be fattening and unhealthy and makes it "better for you"? That's just not right at all.
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11-09-2005 @ 11:22AM
T. Allen said...
We NEVER had green bean casserole. Who is the heathen that thought that one up? YUK. And I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion on candied yams. Never had those either!! Everything on my mother's table passed through her hands, from scratch!!! She also makes a killer cranberry-strawberry relish. My daughter can't live without it. yummy.
Some people just don't understand the term "homemade".
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11-09-2005 @ 11:22AM
michelle said...
Last year, I actually made mini-green bean casseroles in individual ramekins. No campbells soup anywhere, plus I fried shallots for the top. It was some Martha Stewart recipe and it turned out pretty good. It seemed like a fun, retro dish to make and everyone liked it :)
But, I hear you on traditional green bean casserole. And the candied yams *shudder*. Gelatin molds are indeed, gross.
Hmmm, I will confess to buying bagged, dry organic stuffing from Wild Oats and using that. But I add tons of stuff to it! Onion, celery, fresh sage, garlic, apples...Really! It's good!
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11-09-2005 @ 11:35AM
Myron said...
Yah, you've got some bad dishes there. Maybe you could pick one dish a year to make both the traditional and a more enlighted version. Perhaps you'll win some converts. On second thought, its probably hopeless. People like what they ate growing up and its hard to change that.
Fortunately, you can skip the cooking and get all these hideous foods piping hot from Boston Market.
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11-09-2005 @ 12:06PM
m?n said...
This is just the reason I'm starting to take over Thanksgiving dinner from my parents and grandparents. After years upon years of dry, bland turkey I'm taking matters into my own hands and cooking the turkey the way it's supposed to be cooked. It is already sparking some controversy, especially with the fact that i refuse to stuff the turkey. I don't get the point of doing that, since you slice the turkey before serving, it's not like stuffing a pork chop, where you eat the chop and stuffing as one unit. Plus, with the small table we have, we carve the turkey before bringing it to the table, so you don't even get the presentation of a stuffed turkey. *shrug* My family is just crazy is all :)
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11-09-2005 @ 12:07PM
Heidi said...
Ok, so gelatin cranberry molds might be gross, but I have to admit I am a sucker for canned oceanspray cranberry sauce in a mold (not jello like though). Thats the one thing I always make two of at thanksgiving, the fake and the real. I like to eat the fake stuff on the side of my turkey. But I like the real stuff spooned on to my leftover turkey sandwiches (really the whole reason to make a turkey in the first palce).
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11-09-2005 @ 12:17PM
Sir Not Appearing in this Blog said...
Whoo, not feeling the green bean casserole love here...wow. It's a very nostalgic dish for me. Coming home after church Sunday afternoon, the house smelling of pot roast...sitting down for supper...
Think I'm going to make some myself tonight. It'll go great with the pork chops I got out of the freezer. Wonder if I've got any Shake-n-Bake? Hm...
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11-09-2005 @ 12:53PM
Misty said...
This Thanksgiving I will be once again enjoying (or trying to enjoy... "Mushie Peas"- canned peas cooked & mashed, no salt. I love her cause she trys but unfortunatly cooking is not my Grandma's fortay. Once that's over I get to look forward to lots of Fruitcake for Christmas. Gag.
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11-09-2005 @ 1:12PM
Tara said...
In my family, we always have broccoli casserole. I've never had it with green beans. And we never did the marshmallow on top of sweet potatoes thing. I can't even imagine.
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11-09-2005 @ 1:30PM
random said...
I am a diehard green bean casserole fan. However, I have grown out of the casserole from a can recipe. I make mine from fresh green beans in a simple bechamel sauce mixed with gruyere and lots of mushrooms. I try to use one of the stronger tasting mushrooms (cremini, shiitake, porcini) instead of the button variety.
Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving here if it doesn't include homemade cornbread dressing. StoveTop is a mockery of everything that is tasty and good.
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11-09-2005 @ 5:25PM
Dmnkly said...
In my experience, Thanksgiving is one of those times when people throw an awful lot of culinary sense out the window in the name of tradition. To be clear, this isn't a criticism, but while I personally find the green bean casserole scary, I can't deny or denigrate the nostalgic pull that it has for some. But it's definitely frustrating when you want to play and go out on a limb a bit. About 25 years ago, cooking for his in-laws, my father brought out a beautiful roast turkey. Upon slicing it, he revealed that it was only the skin, filled with stuffing, and all of the meat had been removed and baked into turkey/vegetable pies which followed immediately thereafter, fresh from the oven. I'm told it was absolutely delicious. But I also know that they haven't let him cook for Thanksgiving since :-)
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11-09-2005 @ 5:50PM
sarah said...
adam: this happens to you every year, huh? and it's the same distant relative huh? HUH? LOL! i feel for you. you should have a hot buttered rum (make that 2 actually) before everyone gets to your house...:)
reese: fat free eggnog? what on earth is it made with? sounds like water with nutmeg to me.
heidi: i TOTALLY forgot about the cranberry "sauce" that sucks wind worse than SPAM when it ploops out of its can!!!
misty: oh just you wait until i get started on christmas holiday "treats." fruitcake is only the beginning...
dmnkly: wow, i wish you had a picture of turkey skin filled with stuffing...LOL! that sounds...INCREDIBLE.
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11-09-2005 @ 7:57PM
Erin said...
Ah yes, the bottom 5 is a processed food nightmare! What about those buns that come in an aluminum pan and they bake into seemingly one solid mass, but then you can break off individual little buns? Those are very weird, like mini-wonderbreads. Gross.
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11-10-2005 @ 8:58AM
Frogbrother said...
Hey... I like that old green bean casserole! I guess it's one of those southern comfort foods that I grew up with, but it just reminds me of the holidays. Hopefully, you guys won't revoke my "foodie" badge!
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11-11-2005 @ 3:43PM
Nicole said...
I do like the green bean cassarole, but I'd like a version that doesn't use that high-salt soup from a can. Does anybody know where I can get a recipe? Fresh beans and mushrooms sound way better.
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11-12-2005 @ 12:00PM
Raven said...
My family does make candied yams, but there are no canned vegetables nor marshmallows involved. Just fresh yams and lots of butter and brown sugar.
Actually, me being the culinary *genius* (coughdisastercough) that I am... that's just about the only thing I can manage to help my parents with on Thanksgiving. hehe.
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11-12-2005 @ 3:22PM
sarah said...
nicole - i did a quick search and found this version of the "classic" green bean casserole on the food network site:
food network's green bean casserole
hope this helps.
i made one from scratch years ago, but did away with the recipe after, as posted above, my sister thought it tasted wrong. LOL!
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11-13-2005 @ 12:45AM
Christina said...
I've never had any of that stuff at Thanksgiving. I suppose it's due to various ethnic foods and other creations that were more important at the table on each side of my family.
Sometimes it was the Pan-European Thanksgiving, with lasagna and Hungarian cookies. Other years, it was the Puerto Rican Thanksgiving, with rice and beans and my grandmother's baked sliced sweet potatoes with pieces of cheese, drizzled with maple syrup.
But if there's one thing I never, ever, liked: cranberry sauce. It looked so weird coming out of the can and tasted way too sour.
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