Dining out etiquette: Chow down or wait?

by Stefania Butler, Posted Nov 8th 2005 @ 5:05PM

When you go out to eat, do you tuck in to your meal as soon as it is placed in front of you or do you wait until everyone has their food before eating? Do you follow the host's lead or do you march to the beat of your own drummer? My gourmand mother, chef sister, and former sous chef brother always begin eating as soon as their food is in front of them. Their reasoning is that the chef wants you to eat her or his dish at its best—when it is hot from the kitchen. When it is presented to the table, it should be at its peak of enjoyment. But I cannot do this. It just seems so rude to begin eating when not everyone has their meal. However, if I am hosting a dinner—whether at home or in a restaurant—I always instruct my guests to begin eating when they have their food, even if I do not. No one likes to eat a cold dinner if it's meant to be hot, right? What do you do? Dig in or wait?

Filed Under: How To
Tags: dinner

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Reader comments (Page 1 of 1)

11-08-2005 @6:26PM Ed said... I always eat immediately. But I also severely dock restaurants points for not getting all the food out at the same time. Poor timing just shows carelessness or thoughtlessness in the kitchen, to me.

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11-08-2005 @8:01PM garoo said... I agree with Ed: it's the restaurant's responsibility to make sure guests have their plates at the same time, precisely so they don't have to make that decision.

When it happens, I wait a minute or two and, if everyone still hasn't got their food, I start eating -- and apologize in passing for having to.
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11-08-2005 @8:41PM Kairuka said... I do eat, but I make sure not to chow down so hard that I can't keep up conversation. It seems perfectly fine to start dismantling what's on your plate a little (ie: cut your meat into small enough pieces and take one piece at a time when the other person is speaking). Whatever you do, don't ignore the people at the table who don't have food yet simply because you have yours. In my opinion, that is what would really make them feel left out. Also, you can always ask that all the dishes be brought out together. This way, the wait staff will make sure that everything is still nice and warm when the whole tray is together before they bring it out (if they don't, send it back, but if someone has to send their food back, the unwritten rule is that the others can eat even in polite company).
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11-09-2005 @12:51AM margalit said... Hmm, this looks very familiar!

I would never ever eat before everyone had received their food. I was brought up that nobody picked up a piece of silverware until Mom had sat down and everyone was at the table. I insist that my children act the same way, either at home or eating out. I think it's rude to eat in front of people that do not yet have their food. But I also wouldn't return to a restaurant that couldn't manage to get the food to everyone at the same time.

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11-09-2005 @12:02PM alps said... I think it depends on the place and the chef. If you are in a resteraunt then I wait. If i am a guest in someones house then it depends on what the chef wants. although, i must admit I can't help but nibble if i'm told to wait. As for myself, when i cook, which is most of the time, i tell people to dig in, might as well enjoy it when its add its best. Besides, if i'm doing the cooking i'm tasting all the way through so i already know what it tastes like!
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