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There are lots of "top" lists. GQ's top 20 burgers. LA's top fifteen sushi restaurants. Bon Appetit's top five food cities.
There also "bottom" lists, and at Halloween time, my favorite is the one that lists all those things that you got when trick or treating that were just awful. When you got home, still dressed in your costume, with your mask on, you dump your pillowcase out onto the floor and start sorting. The good, the not-as-good, the bad, and then way off to the side, there are the straight up uglies that obviously came from your neighbors who have no children enter into their lives whatsoever. They give out stuff like...travel toothbrushes. Pennies. If they think they're generous, maybe they give out dimes. Andes mints. Who gives out after dinner chocolate mints for Halloween?! I'll never forgive Mrs. Carson for that.
So here are my bottom five Halloween candies (leaving out the Andes mints because really now, they shouldn't never ever be given out to make it onto this list in the first place):
1. Butterfinger - Is there anyone besides Homer Simpson who likes Butterfinger? If so, speak up and tell me why!!
2. One Hershey's Kiss - That's just cheap. I'd rather have the toothbrush.
3. Fruit Roll-ups - Fruit roll-ups are fruit. They are not candy.
4. Fruit - Please see #3.
5. Coffee Nips - Now, come on. Hard candy that tastes like coffee. As if the sugar wasn't enough at Halloween, you want kids hopped up on caffeine?
Trick or treat!
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11-04-2005 @11:27AM Jenny Rich said... How come nobody mentioned those toffee candies with the Halloween wrapping? So gross! And I love butterfinger. It must be the peanut buttery, flaky, chocolaty goodness...
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11-04-2005 @3:54PM Adam said... Blergh, the grossest thing ever is those little molasses candies. I'm sure you all remember them. The little brown things that taste like death and are wrapped in the waxy orange paper with the black bats and whatnot on it. Even though they're like, a centimeter thick, they're still disgusting.
Raisins are gross, too, but what about "fresh" homemade goods? Ah, I'll never forget that time I ate my neighbour's stale cookie, or my aunt's rock-hard fudge. Yes, fond memories...
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11-05-2005 @6:54PM sarah said... you know, i didn't even think of it until now, but i always wondered what exactly the inside of a butterfinger was supposed to be...peanut butter. ok, then WHY IS IT ORANGE?!?!
(ok, i know, i know...i just love hating on butterfingers)
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11-13-2005 @1:04PM RogerS said... I forget which comedian said it but he said he gave out cough drops. Anyway I have to vote for the candy corn. Candy corn and any no name brand knock off of an obscure candy brand that only shows up for Halloween. You know the kind of stuff that you can buy a ten pound bag of individually wrapped candies for a $1.00.
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12-11-2005 @11:03AM Kristin said... Yeah I would have to say my number 1 is those little toffees(is that really what they were, I could never tell) that came wrapped in the orange and black wrappers. They tasted like crap, and one of my friend's parents actually chipped a tooth on one! It's always the old people who give you that stuff.
My second "worst" would have to be Butterfingers. They taste alright on the first bite (maybe because there is usually more chocolate involved). But after the first bite, my throat starts to hurt from the sheer amount of sugar being consmed. I have no idea what that filling is, but it never tastes good after the first bite.
My third is tootsie rolls, chocolate or otherwise. I just don't like them, though I have no expliantion for it.
I actually like candy corn. They are really sweet, but then again, I don't think they are really meant to be eaten in huge quantities. They're kinda the thing you put in your candy dish and snack out of every once in a while.
Oh yeah, last thing. The only type of chocolate I eat from Hershey's is Special Dark. It's the only thing that doesn't taste like pure wax with sugar added. Otherwise, it's European chocolate...damn that stuff is so good, I could live off it.
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12-12-2005 @3:20AM Kristin said... Yeah I would have to say my number 1 is those little toffees(is that really what they were, I could never tell) that came wrapped in the orange and black wrappers. They tasted like crap, and one of my friend's parents actually chipped a tooth on one! It's always the old people who give you that stuff.
My second "worst" would have to be Butterfingers. They taste alright on the first bite (maybe because there is usually more chocolate involved). But after the first bite, my throat starts to hurt from the sheer amount of sugar being consmed. I have no idea what that filling is, but it never tastes good after the first bite.
My third is tootsie rolls, chocolate or otherwise. I just don't like them, though I have no expliantion for it.
I actually like candy corn. They are really sweet, but then again, I don't think they are really meant to be eaten in huge quantities. They're kinda the thing you put in your candy dish and snack out of every once in a while.
Oh yeah, last thing. The only type of chocolate I eat from Hershey's is Special Dark. It's the only thing that doesn't taste like pure wax with sugar added. Otherwise, it's European chocolate...damn that stuff is so good, I could live off it.
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10-28-2005 @12:19PM Kaz said... I like ButterFingers (even though they stick in your teeth). Not sure why - just like the taste. The ButterFinder crisps are better - we got some of those to hand out.
As for what I HATE, well, I don't like nuts in candy, but I don't hate candy for that reason. My only real hate is Candy Corn, which doesn't taste all that great, and is WAAAAY to sugary. Blech.
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10-28-2005 @12:19PM michelle said... Hmmm, not bottom five but I have two. I always hated getting tootsie rolls. Those small little ones. A single tootsie roll. They're miniscule and they're gross. Great, thanks.
One year I also remember getting one of those religious comic books about how Halloween was evil and satanic. So, I get to eat my one tootsie roll and read about going to hell for it -- excellent.
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10-28-2005 @12:40PM Christina said... My mother loves Butterfinger bars. And Tootsie rolls. Both of which I never liked. So she got those.
I liked chocolate well enough, especially Mr. Goodbar and Snickers, as far as 'regular' candy goes. (These days, give me Baci and I'm in heaven though). Mr. Goodbar however, kind of disappeared for a while, and when I was lucky enough to score some on Halloween, I ate those first.
Though other favorites of mine were Nerds, Bottle Caps (so rare!), the cookies from the local bakery, and Haribo gummy bears. Those little gold bags were like treasure. Whoever gave those out won a firm place on my good side.
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10-28-2005 @12:58PM Devin Lussier said... Butterfingers are like cheap rip-off versions of Crunchies, one of the many chocolate bars we can't get here in the states that I stock up on whenever I go back to Canada.
I've never had a coffee nip, but I assume it's somewhat similar to a coffee crisp, and I love coffee crisps.
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10-28-2005 @12:54PM sarah said... kaz: i looooove candy corn! but the weird thing is, i HATE the ones that taste like candy corn, but are shaped like pumpkins. i know they taste the same, but i don't know. weird. maybe i ate too many when i was little and threw them up.
omg, michelle! you just made me LOL about the tootsie roll and satanic warning book. you poor thing. LOL!!
christina: but i bet you felt cheated if someone gave you ONE my goodbar and it was one those hershey's miniatures!! then again, for some strange reason, even though EVERYONE ELSE hates Special Darks, i hoarded those.
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10-28-2005 @12:56PM Reese said... Let me begin by saying I am a huge fan of candy, there is little I dislike, but I do have a bottom five list to share. (1 being the worst)
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1) Wax anything. I'm talking about the wax lips, the wax bottles filled with gross "candy" liquid, etc. Wax is for candles, covering cheeses, and containing honey, not for "candy".
2) Popcorn, not including carmel corn, etc. I'm talking plain popped popcorn in tiny baggies. Are you kidding me with this?
3) Toothbrushes. All kids know, or should know, that they need to brush their teeth. However, Halloween is the one time of the year when parents throw caution to the wind and let their kids consume more candy than can be considered healthy. Don't spoil this joy by putting reminders of cavities and tooth decay in amongst the tastiness.
4) Sweet Tarts, Smarties, etc. This is just personal taste. I don't like "fruit" flavored sugar wafers. They're gross, can we get a more complex flavor, maybe some chocolate, carmel, etc?
5) Tootsie rolls with "other" flavors. You've all seen them, the strange little yellow tootsie roll, or blue. WTF are these? Tootsie rolls are "chocolate" flavored, please keep it that way.
Have a good Halloween All. :)
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10-28-2005 @1:20PM Wendryn said... I actually like Butterfingers, but I always liked any combination of peanut butter and chocolate.
I hate the wax things, too. Nasty. Special Dark is the only kind of Hershey's chocolate that I ever really liked, and at this point my tastes run to really good dark chocolate.
I also don't like most hard candies. I mean, coffee nips and such are ok, but things like Lifesavers and other not-quite-fruit-tasting things always ended up sticking to my teeth and not tasting very good.
I'm really rather picky about candies.
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10-28-2005 @2:15PM tr said... who doesn't like butterfingers? you're crazy! ;)
what i always hated was the really cheap stuff. like the REALLY cheap stuff. like i remember these really hard candies that came in a little box, with like a pic of frankenstein on the box. the candy tasted like chalk. also i hated double bubble, or other cheap kind of bubble gum. and pennies. and pads of paper. why the hell would you give pennies and pads of paper out on halloween?
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10-28-2005 @2:47PM Char said... I LOVE the butterfingers!! Those are one of my favorites, along with Snickers!! YUMMY!!
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10-28-2005 @3:04PM Marc said... "Fun size"
What diabolical person came up with that label for the mini-candy bars? Someone with a devious sense of humor or some terrible Halloween memories...
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10-28-2005 @4:17PM sarah said... wow
i had no idea butterfingers had so many supporters. i guess you either love them or hate them. unlike a snickers bar which everyone loves, or the mars bar, which everyone just wonders about. LOL!
and i had completely forgotten about RAISINS. like i said in #s 3 and 4, FRUIT is not candy. so unless they're coated in chocolate or surrounded by oatmeal, butter and sugar cookie dough, they should be left in the pantry.
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10-29-2005 @4:12PM Terry Bain said... You are wrong.
Butterfingers are awesome. Perhaps an acquired taste, but they are awesome.
I always hated, though:
1. Mounds
2. Almond Joy
3. dimes, nickels or pennies (that ain't candy... and if I wanted change, I could rob my mom's purse)
4. Anything I had to perform before receiving. You know, when people make you say trick or treat, or make you tell them about your uniform. Geeze, just gimme the candy. In our neighborhood there's a woman who makes you sing a song, and the kiddies don't completely avoid her, but the ones who know better tend to walk right on by.
5. Toothbrush. Honestly. Do I even have to explain this one?
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10-29-2005 @1:13PM random said... I always always hated cheap ol' Peanut Butter kisses. The oddly brown blobs wrapped up in a nondescript black or orange wrapper? I think they win the award for the crappiest cheapest halloween candy you can buy.
As a kid, I always threw them away.
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10-29-2005 @10:38PM Christine said... Thank you for validating my extreme dislike for butterfingers!
I concur with many of the other comments (toothbrushes, performing, pennies) and want to add raisins and homemade items (that were thrown out at home by Mom) to the list.
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